If a difficult in law asked you for a favor

[Anonymous]

And you want to do it, because you want to do the right thing....but it really would be a problem with your schedule.....and it is a long drive there and back and there and back.....and a long wait in between.......and that particular difficult in law is quite difficult to get along with....but has no one else that particular day.....

How on earth do I suck it up for the day? I have already rearranged my schedule. I am doing it for my husband, who also isn't the nicest guy in the world (well, to the outside world, he is). I feel like difficult in law told me instead of asked me, as her usual (closer) people are committed elsewhere (or probably not up for it, any more than I am).

Thanks for listening to me vent. I am trying to do the right thing without telling difficult in law off in the process.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it.

It sucks and you don't want to.

Learn to say no, and not feel guilty about it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like too many Nos, I don't feel comfortable with it. And the fact that you don't sound like you don't like your husband. Does it relate to their health?
These are good reasons not to help and I'm a good person but these things annoy me:
I don't even like you so why do I want to help you
I don't like you because you are not nice to me, so why do I want to help you
You are not nice to my family or kids so, why do I want to help you.
When was the last time you are nice to me? can't remember, so forget it.

[Anonymous]

Seriously- if this is husband's family, he should do it if it's important. Would husband turn his life around to do something for your family?

[Anonymous]

You are doing the favor for your husband not for your in-law. One time favors are easy. Bring a book.

[Anonymous]

Have your husband do it.

Done.

[Anonymous]

If you don't like the in-law and you don't like your husband, say no.

[Anonymous]

Do it. Then don't do it again if you don't want. Sometimes showing up for things like this gives you some currency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have your husband do it.

Done.

Are you mentally simple? You assume OP wouldn't have thought about that.

[Anonymous]

My old boss always said if you were in a position to do a favor for someone to go ahead and do it because then they would owe you. She was pretty Machiavellian about things but maybe one day the favor will be returned.

[Anonymous]

Too late this time, since you said yes. Buy yourself a decent bottle of wine for when the day is over.

Next time get your husband to do it.

Sorry he is a shit to you when no one is looking. Think about how you got there and make changes.

[Anonymous]

but has no one else that particular day

You don't know this. No one?
Since this doesn't make sense, I'm guessing you don't necessarily make very good decisions.

[Anonymous]

I would say no. My ILs are takers, not givers. I did so much for them and was always there. None of them have done one thing for us, even for my husband. I would easily say no.

Bring a book. Play a pod cast or book while driving so you don't have to talk or listen.

I would tell your husband to bring home dinner and drinks. Next time is his turn. Not my mother, not my responsibility.

[Anonymous]

What it is that you were asked to do? That clearly makes a huge difference in doing it or not. You are saying you are doing it already, so now you want to cancel? That would make you same person as offending IL. Taking IL a doctor or a hospital or a funeral of a family member, suck it up. Taking IL to see a friend, you should never agreed to it.

[Anonymous]

What will doing this get you in terms of future good will? If the answer doesn't come to you immediately, say no. Don't worry about changing your mind. Don't get taken for granted.