If a difficult in law asked you for a favor

[Anonymous]

I do this for my DiL all the time. Price of admission to grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Can you do it to be kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you want to do it, because you want to do the right thing....but it really would be a problem with your schedule.....and it is a long drive there and back and there and back.....and a long wait in between.......and that particular difficult in law is quite difficult to get along with....but has no one else that particular day.....

How on earth do I suck it up for the day? I have already rearranged my schedule. I am doing it for my husband, who also isn't the nicest guy in the world (well, to the outside world, he is). I feel like difficult in law told me instead of asked me, as her usual (closer) people are committed elsewhere (or probably not up for it, any more than I am).

Thanks for listening to me vent. I am trying to do the right thing without telling difficult in law off in the process.

You don't like your husband or your in-laws. Get a divorce. Then you won't have to make these decisions in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you want to do it, because you want to do the right thing....but it really would be a problem with your schedule.....and it is a long drive there and back and there and back.....and a long wait in between.......and that particular difficult in law is quite difficult to get along with....but has no one else that particular day.....

How on earth do I suck it up for the day? I have already rearranged my schedule. I am doing it for my husband, who also isn't the nicest guy in the world (well, to the outside world, he is). I feel like difficult in law told me instead of asked me, as her usual (closer) people are committed elsewhere (or probably not up for it, any more than I am).

Thanks for listening to me vent. I am trying to do the right thing without telling difficult in law off in the process.

You don't like your husband or your in-laws. Get a divorce. Then you won't have to make these decisions in the future.

Or maybe they are over concerned with appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My old boss always said if you were in a position to do a favor for someone to go ahead and do it because then they would owe you. She was pretty Machiavellian about things but maybe one day the favor will be returned.

Yes, but... also learn to recognize the serial takers who won't ever give back, and the slackers who would love to but won't be able to. Your boss was probably speaking more in a business context. Takers and slackers are more family characters.

[Anonymous]

Is she your MIL? I would do it for my MIL (or FIL) if it was a doctor's appointment. As others said, bring something to occupy yourself doing the wait. If she is not appreciative or disrespectful or otherwise unpleasant and it is not because she is in extreme pain or discomfort, don't do it again and tell your husband to step up.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you'll send an uber...

[Anonymous]

Can it be fixed with money? Pay taxi, pay for driver, pay for uber, pay for rental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My old boss always said if you were in a position to do a favor for someone to go ahead and do it because then they would owe you. She was pretty Machiavellian about things but maybe one day the favor will be returned.

Yes, but... also learn to recognize the serial takers who won't ever give back, and the slackers who would love to but won't be able to. Your boss was probably speaking more in a business context. Takers and slackers are more family characters.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your husband do it.

Done.

Are you mentally simple? You assume OP wouldn't have thought about that.

I don't understand why so many women take it upon themselves to facilitate the inlaw relationship when their own DH won't put in the effort. Anything your DH is unwilling to do, the wife should also not do. Especially if it's an inlaw that she doesn't get along with.

Do you just handle all inlaw requests because you're the woman and that's what's expected?