FIL and seat belts
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My in-laws are visiting from overseas where seat belt use is not common. I am very strict about seat belts and DH has warned me that his FIL has never worn one and that in his culture it would be incredibly disrespectful to make him. I don't want to cause upset but I also don't my DC (9 and 13) riding in a vehicle with an restrained occupant. |
Anonymous
| Point out it's the law and you as driver can get a big fine for it (evne if that's a slight exaggeration about the fine.. but I think it's now a moving violation actually). |
Anonymous
| Tell your FIL it's the law and the driver risks a fine if he's caught not wearing one. If he refuses, he sits in the house all week. |
Anonymous
DH said he will tell him it's the law and that he can be fined if he doesn't buckle up but said that's as far as he can take it. I really want DH to man up on this, but in his culture you just don't insist on anything to elders. (TBF, DH is good about making sure everyone else is buckled in, even his buddies who also don't like to, at least if I'm in the car.) |
Anonymous
|
I think the way to approach this is to say that the driver will have to pay a huge fine and have their car insurance go up if you're caught with an unbuckled passenger.
It's very impolite to ask someone to risk a fine and higher car insurance rates, even if you don't mind the risk. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I think your FIL is old enough to decide if he wants to wear a seat belt. I am sure your children are around other people that do things that you don't want them to do, and you explain to them why things are inappropriate. I am surprised everyone is backing you up. He's an adult. |
Anonymous
| Are you in VA? Adults don't have to wear one in Virginia. |
Anonymous
| I don't live in the DC area, is it true that drivers get fined if a passenger is unbuckled? I remember hearing the law in one state being the driver gets fined if the unbuckled passenger is a minor, passenger gets fined if s/he's an adult. If the law in your area is this, I would just strongly encourage FIL to wear a seatbelt and leave it at that. He's a grown man. I'm assuming he is just visiting so won't be an ongoing bad example to your children. |
Anonymous
2nd PP at 16:06. Agree. Didn't think this was something that people would feel so strongly about. |
Anonymous
|
Affirm the law, and play the culture card back at them.
"I know you wouldn't do this at home, but this is one of those cultural things about America that's really important." Also, in my car, if the driver or front passenger isn't wearing their seat belt, the car starts emitting a loud beeping sound. The only way to make it stop is to put on the seat belt. |
Anonymous
As a kid, I always told my Grandpa to wear his seat belt when we visited. I was kind of pushy about it, and Grandpa would comply. Frankly, I think the other adults didn't want to confront Grandpa but also wanted him to wear his seat belt, hence their lack of correcting me for bossing around an elder (I definitely came from a family that said "respect your elders" a bunch). |
Anonymous
I'm in this camp also. It isn't a fight I'd pick, especially not if FIL is in the backseat. If he's in the passenger seat the damn dinging alert ought to be a sufficient nag. |
Anonymous
|
And which culture is that? Because parts of my family come from very conservative cultures, ones in which respect for elders is ingrained in the fabric of society (Japan and Vietnam), but inside the family, the menfolk are still guided by their wives, mothers, sisters or daughters, just like everywhere else! I would have no problem putting my foot down once he arrives as a guest, in my car, with my insurance. |