Affection when crying

[Anonymous]

Does your significant other comfort you and show affection when he/she sees you crying?
If your SO just sat and looked at you when you cried, would it upset you?

[Anonymous]

Yes and yes, definitely.

[Anonymous]

DH always holds/comforts me when I cry. But, some people just aren't affectionate, doesn't mean they don't care.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If he didn't I would feel like he doesn't care. He always comforts me and holds me and tries to make me laugh

[Anonymous]

Female here and I kinda freeze up when people cry. I'm generally a very affectionate person but when I see someone crying, it's like I just can't respond. I don't know what it is. Your S/O may just be like me. I don't do it to be mean or anything, but I just can't help it. And if I try to fake comfort someone while they cry, it's very obvious, because I'm a shitty liar. I'm like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory when he says "there, there" and pats whoever is crying on the back. (Although I'm not Sheldon-like at all at any other time)

[Anonymous]

I was taught not to cry and, so, don't have a great reference point for what might be helpful when someone else does it.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time I cry because of something he did. If he really cared, he would apologize for the act, or better yet, not do it.

Providing affection while I cry just feels icky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Providing affection while I cry just feels icky.

I feel that way, too.

[Anonymous]

Not really, but I don't want anyone to hold me so it's not a big deal to me.

[Anonymous]

I think that everyone shows that they care in different ways. Just because their way doesn't match up with yours, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I guess this would be a "love languages" issue.

But, if not feeling cared about is your issue, maybe you need to be more aware of the way that your SO shows care instead of expecting them to show it in the same way you would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your significant other comfort you and show affection when he/she sees you crying?
If your SO just sat and looked at you when you cried, would it upset you?

What upset me wasn't the staring, but telling me that I really needed to learn to regulate my emotions. :/ Thanks, Spock!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your significant other comfort you and show affection when he/she sees you crying?
If your SO just sat and looked at you when you cried, would it upset you?

What upset me wasn't the staring, but telling me that I really needed to learn to regulate my emotions. :/ Thanks, Spock!

I can see how it would be irritating if you are constantly over emotional.

[Anonymous]

Stop crying - you're not 7 years old.

Unless someone very significant in your life has died just stop.

[Anonymous]

Women often cry just to get their way. Quit it

[Anonymous]

I told my husband that when I start crying, that is his signal to come over and embrace me. He never would do that before. He didn't know what to do and would just sit there helplessly. I had to tell him what I needed him to do.

That said, my male therapist has sat across the room for me when I've cried and I felt very close to him despite the fact that we never touch each other in any way. So I think simply "be-ing" with someone who is in tears can be very powerful.