Holding the door at work

[Anonymous]

So I am one of 2 females working in an office of 17 people. I think that the first person to a door should open it and hold it for others when going to a group lunch, meeting, outing etc. But I have noticed that if I try to hold the door, a few of the men I work with stop and take over the holding, or else just open the second of 2 doors, go through it, and leave me standing there. Is this weird? Or is there some different social rule I am missing here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I am one of 2 females working in an office of 17 people. I think that the first person to a door should open it and hold it for others when going to a group lunch, meeting, outing etc. But I have noticed that if I try to hold the door, a few of the men I work with stop and take over the holding, or else just open the second of 2 doors, go through it, and leave me standing there. Is this weird? Or is there some different social rule I am missing here?[/quote]

I am surprised, really shocked, that you aren't aware that tradition dictates a man holds a door for a woman. Where did you grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am one of 2 females working in an office of 17 people. I think that the first person to a door should open it and hold it for others when going to a group lunch, meeting, outing etc. But I have noticed that if I try to hold the door, a few of the men I work with stop and take over the holding, or else just open the second of 2 doors, go through it, and leave me standing there. Is this weird? Or is there some different social rule I am missing here?[/

I am surprised, really shocked, that you aren't aware that tradition dictates a man holds a door for a woman. Where did you grow up?[/

[Anonymous]

Hold the door open for the person behind you, without standing aside with the door, let them take it from you, and they hold it for the next person, who takes it from them, etc.

Yes, what you describe is a little odd. I guess they are afraid their testicles will shrivel if they let you hold the door for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am one of 2 females working in an office of 17 people. I think that the first person to a door should open it and hold it for others when going to a group lunch, meeting, outing etc. But I have noticed that if I try to hold the door, a few of the men I work with stop and take over the holding, or else just open the second of 2 doors, go through it, and leave me standing there. Is this weird? Or is there some different social rule I am missing here?[/

I am surprised, really shocked, that you aren't aware that tradition dictates a man holds a door for a woman. Where did you grow up?[/

1950 called, PP, asking you to come back.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. Female. Are you holding it like a doorman? I hold the door until the person behind me can hold it themselves. I do more if they have their hands full or otherwise can't.

If you are acting like a doorman it might make some men feel a little embarrassed for not doing that. And so they take over.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Chicago. I don't know, the men at the office tend to hold the door until all of the people in our group go through, so I assumed I should do the same.

[Anonymous]

One way or the other, I wouldn't make a federal case out of it OP. Just be polite and don't scold people if they do or don't hold the door

[Anonymous]

One way or the other, I wouldn't make a federal case out of it OP. Just be polite and don't scold people if they do or don't hold the door

I'm not intending on scolding anyone or saying anything. I'm just feeling out on this anonymous website whether the behavior is odd, or whether what I am doing is somehow odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Chicago. I don't know, the men at the office tend to hold the door until all of the people in our group go through, so I assumed I should do the same.

You're in the Midwest. Men hold the door for the group. If you open it, a man will take it from you. Often, a man will quicken his step to get to the door before you can touch it or call out, "let me get the door for you!" Say thank you and carry on.

[Anonymous]

I am 30s and female and work with a lot of older men. The men I work with would never let me hold a door. It's just how it is. It would make them uncomfortable to watch me hold it while they sauntered through. Yes, it's an older tradition, but it's more awkward to try to avoid it. They also all wait until the women get in and out of the elevators first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am one of 2 females working in an office of 17 people. I think that the first person to a door should open it and hold it for others when going to a group lunch, meeting, outing etc. But I have noticed that if I try to hold the door, a few of the men I work with stop and take over the holding, or else just open the second of 2 doors, go through it, and leave me standing there. Is this weird? Or is there some different social rule I am missing here?[/

I am surprised, really shocked, that you aren't aware that tradition dictates a man holds a door for a woman. Where did you grow up?[/

1950 called, PP, asking you to come back.

Yes, which is why it is so surprising OP isn't familiar with this and thinks it is a "different social rule" she is totally unaware of. OP, men will also hold the elevator door open for you, so be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Yes, which is why it is so surprising OP isn't familiar with this and thinks it is a "different social rule" she is totally unaware of. OP, men will also hold the elevator door open for you, so be prepared

I find it strange that this question is making you so grouchy, but that's your issue. Thanks to everyone else who provided useful responses - most of my coworkers are a bit older than me, so it sounds like this is just a slightly old fashioned tradition. Good to know.

[Anonymous]

Im the boss of an all male team. They always try to hold the door for me. I try to get to the door first so i can hold it for everyone to avoid an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, which is why it is so surprising OP isn't familiar with this and thinks it is a "different social rule" she is totally unaware of. OP, men will also hold the elevator door open for you, so be prepared

I find it strange that this question is making you so grouchy, but that's your issue. Thanks to everyone else who provided useful responses - most of my coworkers are a bit older than me, so it sounds like this is just a slightly old fashioned tradition. Good to know.

Not grouchy, honestly really surprised you were totally unaware that men traditionally held the door for women (not saying they should, or they need to, just that it is tradition). Your father or grandfather did not hold the door?