Public school families: when will you tell other families that you're moving to private?

[Anonymous]

We are at a public that we have been at for years and have worked hard on, along with our neighbors. We've grown close to other families, served on committees, hung out on the weekends, etc. It's a great school in many ways, with many great families, but we are now thinking of moving to private. Our child was accepted to first choice school which offers a different approach not available at our public, and which we think will be a good fit for child.

My question is: when and how do you tell other public school families that you're leaving the school? Is right away best, end of the school year, etc? W/o outing ourselves, I think that a few families will be surprised, disappointed, maybe even angry at first. I'd love to tell them in person, but it seems that may be impractical (assuming words spread before we can speak with everyone we'd like to tell in person). Hoping for some folks who have BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are at a public that we have been at for years and have worked hard on, along with our neighbors. We've grown close to other families, served on committees, hung out on the weekends, etc. It's a great school in many ways, with many great families, but we are now thinking of moving to private. Our child was accepted to first choice school which offers a different approach not available at our public, and which we think will be a good fit for child.

My question is: when and how do you tell other public school families that you're leaving the school? Is right away best, end of the school year, etc? W/o outing ourselves, I think that a few families will be surprised, disappointed, maybe even angry at first. I'd love to tell them in person, but it seems that may be impractical (assuming words spread before we can speak with everyone we'd like to tell in person). Also hoping for some folks who have BTDT.

OP again. Whoops, error fixed in bold--would like opinion of current public school families, along with private school families who have BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think they actually care?

[Anonymous]

How old is your kid?

Makes a difference if you're moving in 2nd grade or in 9th.

[Anonymous]

Just mention it when and if next years's class comes up. It's seems like a big deal right now but it's not.

[Anonymous]

Shared with fellow mom at an event Sat night and got lots of unexpected advice, criticism, anger, etc.
I wish now I had not told her anything. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think they actually care?

OP here. I agree most won't care. Just thinking about the 1/2 dozen or so families that we're pretty close with, and another 10-20 or so that would likely be surprised. Being a little intentionally vague, but let's say we've volunteered in prominent roles in the school (e.g., PTA officers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your kid?

Makes a difference if you're moving in 2nd grade or in 9th.

OP. Kid is in early elementary.

[Anonymous]

What?? Why do people care where you put your kid in school? Are you telling them what an amazing education your kids will get or are you just telling them about the change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shared with fellow mom at an event Sat night and got lots of unexpected advice, criticism, anger, etc.
I wish now I had not told her anything. Sad.

OP here. Given our particular school, I expect this will be the reaction we'll get at least initially from some parents. However, it also seems sort of two-faced/insincere if we carry on being cheerleaders/advocates for the school community until the end of the year, when we know we're leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared with fellow mom at an event Sat night and got lots of unexpected advice, criticism, anger, etc.
I wish now I had not told her anything. Sad.

OP here. Given our particular school, I expect this will be the reaction we'll get at least initially from some parents. However, it also seems sort of two-faced/insincere if we carry on being cheerleaders/advocates for the school community until the end of the year, when we know we're leaving.

Why? You still attend the school, and anyway, you are allowed to be advocates/cheerleaders for a school you no longer attend. I think you are overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared with fellow mom at an event Sat night and got lots of unexpected advice, criticism, anger, etc.
I wish now I had not told her anything. Sad.

OP here. Given our particular school, I expect this will be the reaction we'll get at least initially from some parents. However, it also seems sort of two-faced/insincere if we carry on being cheerleaders/advocates for the school community until the end of the year, when we know we're leaving.

People will have their reactions; just ignore and be positive about their choices.

[Anonymous]

My experience has been don't feel the need to justify by saying there is something better about the private that is making you move. Be short and sweet and say "you are moving your kid next year because it will work for our kid." Don't get into anything that will cause the remaining families to feel defensive about your current school.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We told only a handful of people and told our dc to keep the news to themselves. We had to tell a few because one of the teachers who wrote dc a rec letter was also a parent in the community. Word of mouth traveled and when people asked we were careful to keep the focus on how the public school wasn't the right fit for our particular child, rather than anything generally negative.

[Anonymous]

Gonna take the mic at the school talent show. It's called getting out in front of the story