Wringing hands over public/private debate with DH

[Anonymous]

We have a 6 yo highly gifted kiddo (big whoop, I know). We decided to send him to private kindergarten because, while incredibly (incredibly) smart, he is socially/emotionally pretty immature. For the record, he isn't on the spectrum, but at age 6 he does simple multiplication, division and negative number arithmetic in his head. He is very good at chess and he reads at a high sixth grade level.

We really like his private, and we get some financial aid to make it do-able, but in the last year he has really leveled out emotionally and I am wondering if the ongoing expense of private is worth it. We are looking to move and I keep feeling like if we move into an area with good public schools the significant $$ we spend on private could be used for all kinds of other enrichment activities (hello Euro-tour!) To top it off, we have a toddler that we will need to place--either at a community daycare, or at his private. The first would be fine for me, but when you put them both in the same private, DH and I are truly living month to month.

DH thinks its worth it--that that's why we work and make money: to provide these kinds of opportunities and he sees this as the best intellectual and emotional option for our children. I cant exactly argue with that, but REALLY bright kids thrive in public schools all the time. DS is in an emotional place where I dont necessarily worry about him getting left aside...

I would really value some feedback on either side of the argument.

Best Regards.

JT

[Anonymous]

Assuming you are talking about moving to a decent pyramid in Arlington, Fairfax County or Montgomery county, I would say that you can't beat the math options in the public schools. The only private school that comes close (on paper) is the very new Basis in Tysons and the jury is still out on them. Plus, if you think Basis would be good for your DC, try to get it for free in DC first.

[Anonymous]

OP here--I should have noted we live in MoCo and with our commutes we will be limited to MoCo or HoCo publics.

[Anonymous]

I will always try public schools first. If the public can't meet my child's needs, then I would consider private. So far, my child loves her public and I've been very happy with the instruction and school culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here--I should have noted we live in MoCo and with our commutes we will be limited to MoCo or HoCo publics.

You're right, he's wrong. Your bright child will not be alone in those public schools. He will actually find many peers who are at a similar academic level. The money spent on private school is better off going toward a college savings fund.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids in private. Originally it was just for the early years. But the thought of switching to public gets more daunting each year, so here we are, probably paying for private for two through 12th grade. Do you want to do that? It's a good education, and a nice school, but it's clearly not objectively worth us spending more than half a million dollars.

[Anonymous]

We've done both with two extremely bright kids (both could easily do what you mention in K). If private is a financial stretch, by all means you should try public first. Tuition goes up at least 4% every single year. If it's hard at first, it will just get worse, and it's an awful feeling to be on the ropes all the time for tuition with no end in sight.

[Anonymous]

OP again. This is all very helpful, mostly because it is confirming what I've been thinking

Does anyone have any thoughts on MoCo or HoCo clusters that have smaller class sizes and more access to STEM support? our price range for a home is maxed at $750k, so probably takes us out of the loop for some of the more ideal clusters???

[Anonymous]

We were in your exact position two years ago. DS was in K at the school where he had gone to preschool and they go through 6th.
Like you, we were happy with his private school and are confident he would have had a great education there. And like you, we have a younger child. Tuition times two was daunting, but doable.
But we wouldn't have had extra money for vacations, expensive extracurriculars, etc.
So we finally took a tour of our local public school, and were really impressed, so decided to at least give it a try.
Figured that we weren't going anywhere, we'd watch closely, and if we needed to pull him and put him back in his private, than that's what we'd do.

We are *SO* happy we switched. We love his public school far more than his private. It's not just "good enough and free" I feel like it's truly a better school (and we really did like his private and younger DD is still there, so it's not like we were in a bad school to start with.)
He's thriving and happy. The reading and writing curriculum is fantastic, his art class is absolutely amazing (they have a seriously great art teacher), they've done a ton of cool science projects, etc. etc. I will say that in our district the math differentiation doesn't start until 3rd grade, so he hasn't really been challenged at all in math so far, but he's had plenty of academic challenges in the rest of the school day, so I'm not too worried about that.

I highly suggest you give it a try. You can always go back to the private if it's just not working.

[Anonymous]

I would do public and supplement with tutors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. This is all very helpful, mostly because it is confirming what I've been thinking

Does anyone have any thoughts on MoCo or HoCo clusters that have smaller class sizes and more access to STEM support? our price range for a home is maxed at $750k, so probably takes us out of the loop for some of the more ideal clusters???

One thing about MoCo is that they have a good gifted (and I mean actually gifted, not just smart like FFX) system, which could suit you guys very well. In the down county consortium you have a choice of great magnet schools and other gifted programs-- and that's where the cheaper houses are anyway. http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/schools/downcounty/

I can't speak to HoCo, except to report that it's an excellent system by all accounts. Here's a link to their gifted and talented program: http://www.hcpss.org/academics/gifted-and-talented/

[Anonymous]

Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

Lady, time to switch to decaf.

[Anonymous]

My DS sounds exactly like your son and we decided to start with public and go from there. Academically he has been challenged since 2nd grade (1st not so much) and we have been pleased overall. He is definitely receiving a much better education than DH and I received. I also like that most of the kids in our neighborhood (Bethesda) attend the local public school so there is a large network of kids hanging out together. After school so they aren't glued to electronics. Every once in a while I question whether a private school would have been a better social fit, but it hasn't held him back.

Ultimately, the decision for us came down to whether we were willing to commit to stressful, high paying jobs for our entire careers and we weren't comfortable with that pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

Lady, time to switch to decaf.

What is your problem? Too much Prozac today? Nothing better to do than post out of boredom? You are the reason people hate this area, rude, nasty, depressed and mentally fucked up!