Wringing hands over public/private debate with DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

Lady, time to switch to decaf.

What is your problem? Too much Prozac today? Nothing better to do than post out of boredom? You are the reason people hate this area, rude, nasty, depressed and mentally fucked up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

Lady, time to switch to decaf.

What is your problem? Too much Prozac today? Nothing better to do than post out of boredom? You are the reason people hate this area, rude, nasty, depressed and mentally fucked up!

No, seriously, time to see your psychiatrist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Belmont in Olney and Cashell have around 300 students, is that too far or too many for you? I know that Bethesda elementary and then onto Westland and to BCC cluster is excellent, but I don't know if you can get a house there for that price, but certainly you can get something. I had kids in privates, but overseas and here in public, their private was British school and I will say that that was the only private option that truly stood out, as opposed to my kid's other private schools. Even then Westland here, while good was not on par with the British school. I have a friend who is in Anne Arundel county and she has a high schooler who is incredibly, off the charts smart, not one of those "my child is gifted because I think he is..." and he is in a magnet there, but I don't know the name, takes college level courses and has since Freshman year and before even. How far north is too far for you? Clarksville has a good high school and a couple of good schools too. I do love that area north, but it is not for everybody.

Lady, time to switch to decaf.

What is your problem? Too much Prozac today? Nothing better to do than post out of boredom? You are the reason people hate this area, rude, nasty, depressed and mentally fucked up!

No, seriously, time to see your psychiatrist!

Um, ok... (backs away on tiptoe)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here--I should have noted we live in MoCo and with our commutes we will be limited to MoCo or HoCo publics.

You're right, he's wrong. Your bright child will not be alone in those public schools. He will actually find many peers who are at a similar academic level. The money spent on private school is better off going toward a college savings fund.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

WOW...spectacle erupts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS sounds exactly like your son and we decided to start with public and go from there. Academically he has been challenged since 2nd grade (1st not so much) and we have been pleased overall. He is definitely receiving a much better education than DH and I received. I also like that most of the kids in our neighborhood (Bethesda) attend the local public school so there is a large network of kids hanging out together. After school so they aren't glued to electronics. Every once in a while I question whether a private school would have been a better social fit, but it hasn't held him back.

Ultimately, the decision for us came down to whether we were willing to commit to stressful, high paying jobs for our entire careers and we weren't comfortable with that pressure.

I will add to this- the benefits of a public school are also that it's a neighborhood school. It's really amazing to have the kids roll out of bed and into their friend's yards. Don't underestimate this!!

[Birdmom5]

Math is an area my DS does well also, we homeschool and that allows us to move at their pace. Is that an option for you guys?
I hope you will be able to figure out the best option for your family and DS!!

[Anonymous]

OP here--we can't homeschool.

All--this is all such good feedback (except for the minor eruption). I do love and value the idea of being a part of our neighborhood school

[Anonymous]

Too many pros and cons to list but my 2 cents is I have one in a top private and another in a top public. You mention your child of "gifted" in math. My public child also 6 does the same basic math as yours. The math is public is hands down better. The reading and writing is hands down better in private. We supplement for each child in those designated areas. Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

^^ sorry for typos!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many pros and cons to list but my 2 cents is I have one in a top private and another in a top public. You mention your child of "gifted" in math. My public child also 6 does the same basic math as yours. The math is public is hands down better. The reading and writing is hands down better in private. We supplement for each child in those designated areas. Hope this helps.

This is very helpful--thank you. Just curious, how do their social/emotional experiences differ? Our *gifted* kiddo has a lot of reluctance to engage socially. The K he is in now has small classes, so that has helped a ton...if I share any concern of DH it is that when/if he goes to a public with larger classes, he risks withdrawing into himself and getting lost in the social flow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were in your exact position two years ago. DS was in K at the school where he had gone to preschool and they go through 6th.
Like you, we were happy with his private school and are confident he would have had a great education there. And like you, we have a younger child. Tuition times two was daunting, but doable.
But we wouldn't have had extra money for vacations, expensive extracurriculars, etc.
So we finally took a tour of our local public school, and were really impressed, so decided to at least give it a try.
Figured that we weren't going anywhere, we'd watch closely, and if we needed to pull him and put him back in his private, than that's what we'd do.

We are *SO* happy we switched. We love his public school far more than his private. It's not just "good enough and free" I feel like it's truly a better school (and we really did like his private and younger DD is still there, so it's not like we were in a bad school to start with.)
He's thriving and happy. The reading and writing curriculum is fantastic, his art class is absolutely amazing (they have a seriously great art teacher), they've done a ton of cool science projects, etc. etc. I will say that in our district the math differentiation doesn't start until 3rd grade, so he hasn't really been challenged at all in math so far, but he's had plenty of academic challenges in the rest of the school day, so I'm not too worried about that.

I highly suggest you give it a try. You can always go back to the private if it's just not working.

I had a similar experience growing up. I attended a high regarded private school. My parents later discovered the neighborhood public school was solid and most of our neighbors sent their children there. It was a tough decision but my parents switched me to public and we actually ended up more happy with the public school. There were things that were better and things we didn't like as much, but ultimately it was a great decision. It also freed up a lot of money for my parents to save and invest. I would not send my child to private unless I were wealthy and the $50k annual tuition was a drop in the bucket OR the public school option were truly abysmal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many pros and cons to list but my 2 cents is I have one in a top private and another in a top public. You mention your child of "gifted" in math. My public child also 6 does the same basic math as yours. The math is public is hands down better. The reading and writing is hands down better in private. We supplement for each child in those designated areas. Hope this helps.

This is very helpful--thank you. Just curious, how do their social/emotional experiences differ? Our *gifted* kiddo has a lot of reluctance to engage socially. The K he is in now has small classes, so that has helped a ton...if I share any concern of DH it is that when/if he goes to a public with larger classes, he risks withdrawing into himself and getting lost in the social flow.

Another poster here. Honestly larger classes are simply the reality of the world we live in. Most likely your child will have large classes in college. The world is a crowded place. Regardless, I doubt the difference in class size will make THAT much of a difference. If anything it may help your son grow socially as opposed to being unnecessarily coddled just because you're paying a school a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Just our experience, OP - We have five kids. One is highly gifted. We have moved around a lot and my kids have been in both public and private. They all graduated from public high schools. I feel like my gifted kid had more opportunity in her good public, especially in higher grade levels. Just being honest. I liked private school for a lot of reasons, but I felt like the public schools offered more in terms of academic options and extracurricular, especially music and arts.

She graduated with a 4.45 GPA, is a National Merit Scholar, super high SATs, etc. She was accepted into two Ivys and went to college on a full academic scholarship.

My other children did fine as well. They are just your typical bright, motivated kids. Nit gifted, but smart. They probably benefited more from private school than did my brilliant kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many pros and cons to list but my 2 cents is I have one in a top private and another in a top public. You mention your child of "gifted" in math. My public child also 6 does the same basic math as yours. The math is public is hands down better. The reading and writing is hands down better in private. We supplement for each child in those designated areas. Hope this helps.

This is very helpful--thank you. Just curious, how do their social/emotional experiences differ? Our *gifted* kiddo has a lot of reluctance to engage socially. The K he is in now has small classes, so that has helped a ton...if I share any concern of DH it is that when/if he goes to a public with larger classes, he risks withdrawing into himself and getting lost in the social flow.

Another poster here. Honestly larger classes are simply the reality of the world we live in. Most likely your child will have large classes in college. The world is a crowded place. Regardless, I doubt the difference in class size will make THAT much of a difference. If anything it may help your son grow socially as opposed to being unnecessarily coddled just because you're paying a school a lot of money.

I agree. I'm the poster with top private/top public. Our public class sizes are big - k was 28/29, 1st is 22 which is nice. We had the same concerns. Our public kid is more reserved and quiet and also has some anxiety. But wow he has totally come out of his shell at public. I tell DH we will play it year by year but so far so good. And honestly the teachers have been phenomenal so far. I need to be more on top of him academically, like bringing home HW and going over completed work, while the private does more of that for me. But if you are an involved parent, public is great. But again, we actually moved to attend this private so it's really a top one.