Differences in how we treat in laws vs my parents

[Anonymous]

Dh and I had tickets to an event next Saturday and a babysitter lined up. We have a 4 month old and have rarely gotten to go out. His parents wanted to come stay with us (only Saturday) so dh cancelled everything. I am so upset. Inlaws live in central VA and rarely want to visit so that's why dh cancelled our event. My parents live cross county but come often to help. I know that if my parents were coming we would have asked them to babysit. It's been a rough few weeks and I really needed a night out. It was my valentines present.

I'm just pissed that inlaws never help, never visit and when they do, there's no advance planning. And that dh couldn't stand up for me.

[Anonymous]

Honey, talk to him. Not us, him.

[Anonymous]

That's pretty crappy of your DH.

[Anonymous]

Bad timing OP. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Op here. He just can't talk to his parents and kept asking me what to do. He can't ask them for help when we need it or tell them anything he thinks they don't want to hear.

I'm already upset they didn't visit when we had the baby or help, so my feelings are already colored.

[Anonymous]

Grow up OP. You sound pathetic. Its your baby and you look after it. You are lucky your own parents help out. Stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

OP I would be annoyed too. Your DH sounds like he has a very dysfunctional relationship with his parents. He should have told them to come another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow up OP. You sound pathetic. Its your baby and you look after it. You are lucky your own parents help out. Stop complaining.

STFU. OP has every reason to be upset. She went to a lot of effort to have a much needed night out with her DH. Yet, the moment her absent, unhelpful ILs want to come, her DH bails. Everything goes down the drain. Yeah, she's welcome to spew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would be annoyed too. Your DH sounds like he has a very dysfunctional relationship with his parents. He should have told them to come another time.

Op here. Not dysfunctional at all. They're normal nice people. I get that no one owes me anything... thats why I got a babysitter I'll pay for. But if they don't help me, why do I have to drop everything for them?

[Anonymous]

Why did he do that? Did you tell him that you were not OK with this, given that it was a Valentine's gift, and that you really needed a break, and he STILL went cancelled?

Wow. I don't get his reasoning here. Maybe you should go somewhere that night

[Anonymous]

I don't get why dh couldn't just tell them y'all had plans and just suggest another time. That doesn't make sense. You should be pissed. At dh.

[Anonymous]

Uncancel. Tell DH you're going anyway by yourself or with a friend. If he won't prioritize you then prioritize yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uncancel. Tell DH you're going anyway by yourself or with a friend. If he won't prioritize you then prioritize yourself.

+1. Go have fun.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't he ask them to come another weekend? Is it because they visit so rarely that he'd say yes to anything?

I would talk to him and be willing to give him a pass. People's parents can make them crazy and it sounds like it is a once in a while thing since they don't visit much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't he ask them to come another weekend? Is it because they visit so rarely that he'd say yes to anything?

I would talk to him and be willing to give him a pass. People's parents can make them crazy and it sounds like it is a once in a while thing since they don't visit much.

I wouldn't give a pass for this. DH needs to grow up - and - stand up for you/your plans. And I'd definitely go out with a friend and leave him at home with his parents.