Sons giving their moms gifts on Valentines Day
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Anonymous
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My inlaws always send me chocolates, flowers or chocolate covered strawberries for Valentines Day. I wish they didn't, but it's a really kind thing they do. Should I reciprocate? I told Dh to send his mom something, but he thought it was cheesy and too expensive. He's not a jerk, but I'm sure he wants me to send them something and sign his name on it.
In our marriage (married 8 years) I send his family birthday and Christmas gifts, do I also have to send Valentines and mothers day gifts too? DH really drops the ball on his parents every year. I sort of feel bad about his mom not getting any gifts or cards, but then she raised him and must have not gotten gifts from him when he was growing up either. I like my inlaws, but I don't send my parents anything for Valentines day either. In my family it's more of a romantic love holiday that my parents would share together. |
Anonymous
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If DH "wants" anything, he should do it himself.
Personally I find Valentines weird in contexts other than romantic. Even then it's kind of a weird token holiday. |
Anonymous
OP here. His parents send the chocolates to me though. I assume because they send chocolates or flowers to his sisters and they're trying to be fair? |
Anonymous
I'd send them a thank you message. But I don't think it needs to be reciprocated. |
Anonymous
| I hate the charade of Valentines Day. DH has a mom, 2 sisters and 2 nieces and they all expect for him to send cards to them. Buying 5 cards is such a waste of paper and money. He wishes he could stop but they'd be offended. Luckily he doesn't have to deal with the gift aspect of it. My parents also expect a card from our DS, but they're local and I just have him draw something and give it to them when he sees them. |
Anonymous
| I don't think a grown ass MARRIED man needs to be sending his mommy a Valentine. His wife and daughters, yes. Why is it so hard for boy moms to cut the cord? I hate that shit. |
Anonymous
I should say, his YOUNG daughters. |
Anonymous
OP here. I don't know that my MIL expects a gift. I just feel bad that they give me a gift and we don't give them one. I just don't want her to blame me for this. |
Anonymous
Do men give gifts to their daughters?! My dad surely has never given me a gift and my dh doesn't gift dd. Valentines is a romantic love holiday IMO. |
Anonymous
| Send a card and thank them for the gift. It doesn't have to be reciprocated. |
Anonymous
Completely agree. |
Anonymous
Exactly why mommy doesn't need a gift from her grown "baby boy". And yes, kids celebrate the holiday in a different way. Don't your kids take Valentines to school? |
Anonymous
I'd like to ban gifts just so I don't have to write more thank you cards. |
Anonymous
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There are some families that really value these hallmark holidays (as well as other holidays) over everything else. My inlaws are basically crushed if we forget Vday, mother's day, father's day, and birthdays. The odd thing is that we could be totally estranged from them all year and send a $2.00 card on one of those events and they feel completely loved and happy. OTOH, we could shower them with gifts, calls, visits, a "saw this and just thought of you" gift every single day, and then miss sending a vday card and they practically disown us - tell us we're ungrateful, don't love them, etc.
My parents are completely opposite. they actually get mad if we "waste money" on stupid cards for these events. They forget when their own birthdays are (I've called my mom on her birthday and she responded with why are you calling? my birthday? oh yeah, that's right. thank you.) but throughout the year, if I don't talk to them for over a week or two, they are calling and getting mad that I haven't called (or they'll call me and get mad if I don't return the call) I think it's just the way some families are. |
Anonymous
OP here. We have an infant and toddlers. Crazy busy here. |