Inlaws that hate me

[Anonymous]

This is long so part of it will be in the comnents. Sorry. I dated DH in high school. There was a bunch of drama and his best friend told him that I cheated on him. Ironically, as soon and DH(then BF) broke up with me, his best friend asked me to be his girlfriend. Because of this DH's family didn't like me(they thought I cheated and I didn't). His parents forbid him from seeing me. Well 2 years later when we were adults, (18 and 19) we began dating again. His family wasn't happy about it but stayed out of it.

[Anonymous]

Part 2. We got engaged 6 months later and shortly after that we eloped. I thought things were good with his family but they decided they didn't like me again. Apparently DH wasn't spending enough time with them and I wasn't "allowing him" to. They told him he should divorce me. He obviously didn't. DH took some time away from his family and after that things were looking up, or so I thought.

[Anonymous]

Part 3. Sorry, I'm on my cell phone and it only allows me to type so much. Anyways, now they don't like me again. His sister keeps saying that I'm only temporary and she's his blood so she's forever. Yada yada. I don't know how to deal with any of them.

[Anonymous]

How old are you and DH now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH now?

25 and 26. It's been 10 years of this. They think they should come before me and he should divorce me. He doesn't and I'm not going anywhere but obviously the way we've been handling it isn't working since it keeps happening.

[Anonymous]

Op - as adults you have the opportunity to create your own family. If you aren't dependent on them, you can create any life you want. Act and embrace your adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - as adults you have the opportunity to create your own family. If you aren't dependent on them, you can create any life you want. Act and embrace your adulthood.

They aren't terrible people. They're incredibly wrong but not bad people. It really sucks that they act this way. We have a daughter and all they want to do is break up our family it seems.

[Anonymous]

Here is an actual conversation between DH and his sister. DH: are you implying that I should divorce my wife and go be with you? SIL: well no I'm just saying that your marriage could easily end so you should put your blood first. If you dont have us, you won't have anyone.

[Anonymous]

You have a child together? If so, your DH should tell his sister "my child is my blood, and I'm putting her first by raising her with a two parent household."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a child together? If so, your DH should tell his sister "my child is my blood, and I'm putting her first by raising her with a two parent household."

Sorry, hit submit too soon. You should stay out of it. Limit your contact and rise above. Tell your DH not to tell you what they say. He manages all contact with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a child together? If so, your DH should tell his sister "my child is my blood, and I'm putting her first by raising her with a two parent household."

Sorry, hit submit too soon. You should stay out of it. Limit your contact and rise above. Tell your DH not to tell you what they say. He manages all contact with them.

I actually very much like that response. I've never known how to take/interpret her saying that. She has said it multiple times. To me, it feels she's wanting us to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Until I came to DCUM I didn't know so many crazy, possessive SILs. Holy cow.

Let your H handle all of it. I'd definitely limit my contact with them, or possibly even sever ties for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part 2. We got engaged 6 months later and shortly after that we eloped. I thought things were good with his family but they decided they didn't like me again. Apparently DH wasn't spending enough time with them and I wasn't "allowing him" to. They told him he should divorce me. He obviously didn't. DH took some time away from his family and after that things were looking up, or so I thought.

Given the history how the eff did you all think eloping was a good idea?

A tone deaf as you and your DH seem to be I'm certain there is a hell of a lot more going on than what you have mentioned here. Two sides to every story and all that you just posted the high lights to make you sound an innocent victim knowing that DCUM always sides with the poor, poor DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - as adults you have the opportunity to create your own family. If you aren't dependent on them, you can create any life you want. Act and embrace your adulthood.

They aren't terrible people. They're incredibly wrong but not bad people. It really sucks that they act this way. We have a daughter and all they want to do is break up our family it seems.

It's unfortunate you have a child. This will not end well.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there are cultural factors at play here. Is that the case, OP?