Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know why people try traveling with extended family. I didn't got on a vacation with my folks after I turned 16. My MIL tried multiple times to get me and DH and two babies / toddlers to go on vacations with her, my idea of hell, and we never went. Never.

How sad for you. The trips I was able to give my Mom, after I was grown, gave her experiences she had only dreamed of.

It made me so happy to spoil her, since she had been such a great parent.

And now that she is gone, I treasure those memories.

Guessing PP wasn’t as lucky as you were to have a great parent/in law. If my parents had been great parents and were pleasant people, I’d love to travel w them. But they’re not, so I don’t.

+1 Some people get lucky and get great parents, and those parents are delightful people as they age. Some people get people who are narcissists or bullies or alcoholic or addicted or abusive or neglectful and those parents continue those patterns as they age. If you have great parents, STFU about telling people how to handle their difficult parents as adult children. You have no idea.

Yup- used to get jealous of friends who had helpful parents who came and helped take care of babies, did the dishes, etc. Took many years to just accept their limitations and be comfortable with a more limited relationship that was sustainable on our end.

[Anonymous]

Kids stay in the seats you “bought” them. Your parents can upgrade or you can pay to upgrade them or they can stay home.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about you but my 14 and 16 year olds are pissy. I wouldn't be buying them first class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know why people try traveling with extended family. I didn't got on a vacation with my folks after I turned 16. My MIL tried multiple times to get me and DH and two babies / toddlers to go on vacations with her, my idea of hell, and we never went. Never.

How sad for you. The trips I was able to give my Mom, after I was grown, gave her experiences she had only dreamed of.

It made me so happy to spoil her, since she had been such a great parent.

And now that she is gone, I treasure those memories.

Guessing PP wasn’t as lucky as you were to have a great parent/in law. If my parents had been great parents and were pleasant people, I’d love to travel w them. But they’re not, so I don’t.

+1 Some people get lucky and get great parents, and those parents are delightful people as they age. Some people get people who are narcissists or bullies or alcoholic or addicted or abusive or neglectful and those parents continue those patterns as they age. If you have great parents, STFU about telling people how to handle their difficult parents as adult children. You have no idea.

PP did not give any advice.

She said she thought the person’s experience was sad.

Don’t shower hate on her (or have you turned out like the parents you described?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know why people try traveling with extended family. I didn't got on a vacation with my folks after I turned 16. My MIL tried multiple times to get me and DH and two babies / toddlers to go on vacations with her, my idea of hell, and we never went. Never.

How sad for you. The trips I was able to give my Mom, after I was grown, gave her experiences she had only dreamed of.

It made me so happy to spoil her, since she had been such a great parent.

And now that she is gone, I treasure those memories.

What kind of cookie do you want for being so perfect?

Wow, I hope all of the bitter posters on here have money for therapy because their childhoods have sure left them raw/with jagged edges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know why people try traveling with extended family. I didn't got on a vacation with my folks after I turned 16. My MIL tried multiple times to get me and DH and two babies / toddlers to go on vacations with her, my idea of hell, and we never went. Never.

How sad for you. The trips I was able to give my Mom, after I was grown, gave her experiences she had only dreamed of.

It made me so happy to spoil her, since she had been such a great parent.

And now that she is gone, I treasure those memories.

What kind of cookie do you want for being so perfect?

Wow, I hope all of the bitter posters on here have money for therapy because their childhoods have sure left them raw/with jagged edges.

Well, at least you aren't bitter or sour at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know why people try traveling with extended family. I didn't got on a vacation with my folks after I turned 16. My MIL tried multiple times to get me and DH and two babies / toddlers to go on vacations with her, my idea of hell, and we never went. Never.

How sad for you. The trips I was able to give my Mom, after I was grown, gave her experiences she had only dreamed of.

It made me so happy to spoil her, since she had been such a great parent.

And now that she is gone, I treasure those memories.

Guessing PP wasn’t as lucky as you were to have a great parent/in law. If my parents had been great parents and were pleasant people, I’d love to travel w them. But they’re not, so I don’t.

+1 Some people get lucky and get great parents, and those parents are delightful people as they age. Some people get people who are narcissists or bullies or alcoholic or addicted or abusive or neglectful and those parents continue those patterns as they age. If you have great parents, STFU about telling people how to handle their difficult parents as adult children. You have no idea.

PP did not give any advice.

She said she thought the person’s experience was sad.

Don’t shower hate on her (or have you turned out like the parents you described?)

DP. How sad for you, that you have had experiences that have made you respond that way.

As for me, I only have summery light experiences online, sweetened with the nectar of the gods and drizzles of hauntingly dulcet honey. I myself don't become defensive or attack people passive-aggressively, nor do I complain of other's behavior, myself. I treasure those gentle soft exchanges with my fellow human beings uncritically.

(Of COURSE I am not being critical of you! That is obvious. I am also not giving you advice, just reveling in my own delicious little life.)

[Anonymous]

Interesting.

AFAIK, United does not have any 1st class cabin on any overseas flights; instead, they have Business (sometimes branded "Polaris"), Premium Economy, & Economy. "EconomyPlus" is part of Economy class, but has a bit more leg room.

Assuming OP meant Business/Polaris, keep in mind that the United Polaris lounges do not allow -any- guests. So anyone not in Business class will not be allowed in that lounge. This isn't an issue if everyone skips Polaris Lounge, of course.

By contrast, the United Club does allow some guests.

[Anonymous]

Warning to others: just post if you are miserable and hate your parents.

Happy people are not welcome on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going on a family vacation + cruise later this summer to Greek Isles. Originally booked for myself, DH, and our two kids (16 and 14). We invited my parents a few months ago and they decided to join us. Our family booked 4 first class seats IAD-ATH using FF miles on United (DH is Global Services on United and got a good deal) and my parents ended up booking 2 coach seats in cash many months later (no status). Well, yesterday my parents decided they wouldn’t go on the trip unless they flew first class and that our kids don’t need to fly first class and we should allow them to switch. My dad even offered to give each of my kids $50 to move from first to coach so that they could have lie flat seating transatlantic.

DH is super annoyed. My parents are being real jerks about this and how kids don’t need first class and my dad’s back aches so he totally needs first class. What do I do?

You do what you should have done in the first place, first class for everyone. If you can't get two first class for your parents then there is no reason why your 16 & 14 cannot sit in coach and your parents in first class.

What is wrong with you and your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Warning to others: just post if you are miserable and hate your parents.

Happy people are not welcome on this thread.

Sad for you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going on a family vacation + cruise later this summer to Greek Isles. Originally booked for myself, DH, and our two kids (16 and 14). We invited my parents a few months ago and they decided to join us. Our family booked 4 first class seats IAD-ATH using FF miles on United (DH is Global Services on United and got a good deal) and my parents ended up booking 2 coach seats in cash many months later (no status). Well, yesterday my parents decided they wouldn’t go on the trip unless they flew first class and that our kids don’t need to fly first class and we should allow them to switch. My dad even offered to give each of my kids $50 to move from first to coach so that they could have lie flat seating transatlantic.

DH is super annoyed. My parents are being real jerks about this and how kids don’t need first class and my dad’s back aches so he totally needs first class. What do I do?

You do what you should have done in the first place, first class for everyone. If you can't get two first class for your parents then there is no reason why your 16 & 14 cannot sit in coach and your parents in first class.

What is wrong with you and your DH?

And now we mull on the linear nature of time, and that events occur one after the other, much as dominoes fall in a grand tableau.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This trip has actually taken a turn for the worse, depending on your perspective.

We came to what we thought was a great plan. My mom and dad take my kids business class seats. Kids go back to economy plus. DH uses PlusPoints to try to upgrade kids, waitlist only.

Well, enter the Father’s Day drama. My kids planned a family cookout for DH and this involved driving out to the Shenandoah area for hiking and a cookout on Father’s Day. Unfortunately, this meant we didn’t drive to my parents’ house (1 1/2 hours away) on that day. I sent my dad a card, flowers, and called him first thing in the morning on Sunday. Everything seemed ok.

On Monday evening I get a short email from my Mom saying that they are canceling their cruise and not going to Athens. She says, “Your father’s back is hurting again and we think the trip will be just too much.” Wow. We call. My mom is super awkward and my dad won’t come to the phone. He’s not feeling well, supposedly. We call the next day. Same thing.

DH noticed that my parents canceled their flights (since he used his PlusPoints to try to upgrade, I guess he can see their record locator). I texted my mom and told her I was disappointed. She understands and apologized for my dad being a jerk. She also mentioned that it was going to be ok since my dad was talking to his doctor to get a letter stating that he is too sick to fly and they can file a travel insurance claim to get back all their cruise payments and airfare.

This whole really bothers me because I know this is just another power play between my dad and DH. He’s not getting the respect he thinks he deserves and is retaliating against me and my family as a result. Plus, I think the insurance thing is pretty sleazy.

DH canceled my parents’ hotel reservations in Athens and we’re going on the cruise without my parents. Last invitation we’ll ever extend.

Sorry, more relationships forum than travel at this point.

Why not just take them at their word (his back is not up to it) and call it a day?

By reading a sinister motive into it, YOU are now choosing to continue the drama, which seems like it might be a family tradition?4

Rejoice that the problem is solved! Enjoy the trip. Choose the path of least resistance and least offence.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure OP really is just calling it a day on that conversation and moving forward on her trip with her nuclear family.

It doesn't seem like perpetuating drama to note that one won't be enabling such drama in the future. Good choices lead to good vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going on a family vacation + cruise later this summer to Greek Isles. Originally booked for myself, DH, and our two kids (16 and 14). We invited my parents a few months ago and they decided to join us. Our family booked 4 first class seats IAD-ATH using FF miles on United (DH is Global Services on United and got a good deal) and my parents ended up booking 2 coach seats in cash many months later (no status). Well, yesterday my parents decided they wouldn’t go on the trip unless they flew first class and that our kids don’t need to fly first class and we should allow them to switch. My dad even offered to give each of my kids $50 to move from first to coach so that they could have lie flat seating transatlantic.

DH is super annoyed. My parents are being real jerks about this and how kids don’t need first class and my dad’s back aches so he totally needs first class. What do I do?

You do what you should have done in the first place, first class for everyone. If you can't get two first class for your parents then there is no reason why your 16 & 14 cannot sit in coach and your parents in first class.

What is wrong with you and your DH?

Another clueless commenter.