How often do you speak to your in laws?

[Anonymous]

We had our son in July. (Our first!)We are both the babies in our family too. When my son was 1st born I would text pictures of my son to my in laws and they would reply back. But I usually find myself sending a text first. They don't ask how he is doing or call. I'm not upset or mad, but I feel if they are not going to call or text and ask,how baby is doing why should I bother sending a message or a picture first.

How often do you talk to your in laws?

[Anonymous]

Not often. I'll post pics to FB or IG, and occasionally text a pic if it is related to them directly (child in outfit purchase done by them, playing with new toy Fromm them, etc.)

I don't call. She doesn't call. He doesn't call.

[Anonymous]

There is a weekly FaceTime each weekend. DH talks or texts with at least one parent each day.

He introduced himself to my mother once, and they have never spoken since (she doesn't know he's my husband - he wasn't at the time they met).

I haven't spoken with my father in two years - he was upset about a decision we made - and neither has my husband.

[Anonymous]

I struggle with this too. They never call me. But I don't call them either (never had a reason to before baby). We had a baby last fall and I'm feeling pretty lonely about it. I speak to my parents 4x a week. I post lots of pictures and know that they like them, but that's all.

I have a HUGE feeling of guilt over this. I'm trying to balance everything and wish they would at least meet me halfway. Visit us a little, call us a little. I feel like they're mad we don't visit them nonstop or call.

[Anonymous]

Only in person when DH is around, and only for major holidays or one-off events every few months. After repeated instances of crossing boundaries, walking over me, and treating me like a child, I stopped initiating contact. The only communication we have is vague one-word responses from me to any questions posed or fake "thanks" in response to the "blessings" MIL sends via text.

[Anonymous]

Once a year when we visit abroad.
My husband calls them on the weekend, and I listen and occasionally chime in, but don't initiate or drive the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a year when we visit abroad.
My husband calls them on the weekend, and I listen and occasionally chime in, but don't initiate or drive the conversation.

And we like each other, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Text: a couple of times a month. Speak: a couple of times a year. Visit: maybe every other month or so. We're in DC and they're in NYC. They communicate more with my DH. We get along well. I text and speak more with my parents but we see them less because they're on the west coast.

[Anonymous]

I used to try to initiate contact with my MIL. Sort of assuming that we could plan things directly, instead of going through my DH, since it seemed like that might be easier.

HAHAHAHA.

All that did was result in round about exchanges where it was clear I was ruffling feathers by having an opinion. I stopped initiating any contact and in fact, don't usually respond to emails or texts at all, I let my DH do it 95% of the time. He still ruffles feathers, but at least it's coming from him and not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I struggle with this too. They never call me. But I don't call them either (never had a reason to before baby). We had a baby last fall and I'm feeling pretty lonely about it. I speak to my parents 4x a week. I post lots of pictures and know that they like them, but that's all.

I have a HUGE feeling of guilt over this. I'm trying to balance everything and wish they would at least meet me halfway. Visit us a little, call us a little. I feel like they're mad we don't visit them nonstop or call.

O.p here I speak to my parents a lot too. They come to our house maybe 2-3 times a month depending on what is going on. I invite my in laws over and I mention they are welcome to visit whenever....they say okay but never do. And also one time over video chat before we said good bye, I told MIL you can call anytime (she's at home doesn't work) she had the damn nerve to say "yeah you can too". I fu-king called you first!!!"

[Anonymous]

Never. They don't initiate calling, and if they do call my DH, I do not get on the phone with them. We see them every few months. They've always been like this, I talk to my parents via Facetime at least 2 times a week. I don't mind my in-laws, but I don't need to talk to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a weekly FaceTime each weekend.

OP I highly recommend you establish this routine with your ILs. The benefits are:
-you can keep it short
-consistency makes it easier to keep up with for them as well as you
-while your kid is still little you can get them used to doing screen time with family members so they won't resist later. My suggestion is that you schedule the FaceTime for a time when your child is eating, since they're strapped in and a captive audience.

[Anonymous]

Multiple times a day - they live with us.

[Anonymous]

How often did you chat or text with them before you had the baby?

DH talks with his parents most days, I talk to them on the phone extremely rarely. We do text a decent amount--usually us sending kid photos and them responding.

[Anonymous]

I text or email with both my MIL and step-MIL multiple times per week.