How to communicate u want marriage

[Anonymous]

Hello. I'm a 28 yr old woman whom just got out of a situation ship about a few months ago. Starting to worry about marriage prospects, and kidshe.

I made an online eharmony account.
I've been chatting and getting to know a few guys, nothing super heavy.

I know within 5 yrs I want to be a wife and mother. What's the best way to effectively communicate this early on without looking crazy.
Don't wanna waste more time....please help me!

[Anonymous]

I did online dating. I said upfront that I was interested in relationships where marriage was a possibility. If people wanted to stay casual only, no chance of something serious, I wasn't interested.

Been married 13 years now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did online dating. I said upfront that I was interested in relationships where marriage was a possibility. If people wanted to stay casual only, no chance of something serious, I wasn't interested.

Been married 13 years now.

+1. Phrasing it like this is a good idea. Do not say "I want marriage and kids within 5 years," or you will definitely sound crazy. No one likes to be put on a deadline, especially by someone they just met. It's also an indication to them that you might not be flexible---that you're going to be the type of partner who isn't willing to consider their desires.

Also, wouldn't you want to bend a little if it was for the right person? If your soulmate needed more time, and you, say, could have marriage and kids within 7 years or 10 years, wouldn't that be better than rushing to get married, having a kid and divorcing in five years?

[Anonymous]

U r not ready.

[Anonymous]

Read some threads here. Men are absolute shit

[Anonymous]

You're 28. Relax and have fun with it.

Stating you want marriage upfront will make you sound clingy, desperate, and crazy, even to guys who also want marriage. It also won't do anything to dissuade men who just want something casual. They'll just tell you they also want marriage, have sex with you, then leave.

Go out with a bunch of guys, don't rush into anything, and just have fun with it. You can tell pretty easily who wants marriage and who just wants to hook up.

[Anonymous]

OP I am your age. I like the suggestion to say you are looking for a relationship with the possibility of marriage down the road. You should also be able to list that you want kids in the profile.

Keep in mind that at your age you are likely to move faster toward marriage with the right person than you would have a few years younger. Dating to Engagement to Marriage can be a quick 2-3 year process now. You may have a baby at year 5 and another at year 7. I understand that you're thinking of your age and fertility issues coming up, but it isn't as dire as it seems.

Also remember, you are unlikely to marry the first guy you think you click with on eharmony. Date several, find someone who makes you happy and would make a good father, who's family you can enjoy, and who you really see being around in 30 years.

[CapHillSteve]

Anonymous wrote:

Go out with a bunch of guys, don't rush into anything, and just have fun with it. You can tell pretty easily who wants marriage and who just wants to hook up.

I like this advice. In addition to online, get out there and do what you like to do. When you do, you are enthusiastic. Guys are attracted to that attitude. You can't force it.

[Anonymous]

Looking for relationship with possibility of marriage with the right person. or something like that. Do not communicate time limit, etc. Or, just weed out the profiles once you establish contact. Its pretty easy to figure out who wants what.

There are plenty of men in late 20s to mid 30s who want the same thing, but they also do not want to be hounded or have to make a commitment on the third date.

[Anonymous]

also: avoid players, be open to all kinds of men. I think the nice looking, earnest and hard working guys who haven't spent their 20s partying but rather building up their careers, etc, are the ones you want to meet. You want to focus on the qualities of kindness, focus, family orientation, etc. The guys who are partying jet setting or spending 24/7 at the bar with their buds are not likely to be looking to change their ways anytime soon. Slightly dorky, with heart of gold, friends who are genuine and whom you like, and smart/motivated-they are the catches!

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for all the advice!!