If you work full-time, does your DH...

[Anonymous]

Fill out camp or school forms?

Buy DCs' clothes?

Do school applications?

Plan/schedule/pay for after school activities?

Schedule all doctor's/dentist's appointments?

Coordinate with babysitters?

Geez Louise, how is it I became the queen of scheduling, paperwork and internet clothes shopping?

He does other things, like fix things with those things I think are called tools, but I woud so love it if he would do the stupid forms just once! (Although if he did he would call me with ten questions...)

Just curious if these things are generally just a mom thing or if some of you have DHs that actually do the administrative work?

[Anonymous]

I usu do it all, too. Though, after the first 6 mos. or so we do doctors about 50/50. I take that back, 60/40 him.

[Anonymous]

I fill out forms - but mainly because my handwriting is better!

I also connect all the electronics, I put together most of the things requiring hardware, and do all the planning. It's just not my DH's forte. He's the grill master. He takes out the trash, and cleans the toilets. He's also the social one between us, so he's responsible for setting up things with friends and deciding what to do on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

You may find, as I did, that you're way better at organizing certain things than he is. We divide things up according to our proclivities and talents. Scheduling is definitely in my area.

If my DH did the camp scheduling, the kids would be doing the same dorky crafts camp they hate for 2 straight months, and he honestly wouldn't have a clue why they were unhappy. On the other hand, I haven't bothered to figure out any of these electronic thingies with wires coming out of them that are all over the house. In part because I haven't had to figure them out.

[Anonymous]

No to everything except tools and fixing stuff. I practically married Bob Vila. He can build anything and is probably more handy and detailed with his finish work than more contractors.

I will GLADLY take care of all kids related concerns, because he saved us 10s of thousands of dollars remodeling our kitchen himself (and it was a MAJOR remodel that actually changed the footprint of the kitchen and moved a load bearing wall). We each have our jurisdictions and our defined "roles" make for a pretty harmonious household.

[Anonymous]

Yup, I do pretty much all those things. But he does more than his share of other kid tasks. In fact he probably goes to more of the dr appointments, even though I make the appointments. And I suspect that if I werent around he would do a perfectly good job of all those things. But I don't really mind doing them.

[Anonymous]

I buy the clothes, he does the doctors (including taking off of work to take them), and we split the rest. HOwever, my SNAG doesn't use tools.

[Anonymous]

Not only do I do all of this, but I also plan all vacations, buy all presents (even for the in laws), do the budgets, go to the post office, go to the bank, etc. etc. etc. I draw the line at arranging for dog care and doing any yard work (except feeding the birds). I have long ago accepted this. And, there are some benefits. Since I do the budget, we always have money for good vacations, activities for the kids, pedicures and highlights for my hair - notice there is no golf line item in the budget. When it comes to vacations, we always do and see what I want my kids to see and what I want to do and everyone has fun - but I am not the one to compromise. We never overspend on in law gifts. Not much I can say about filling out the school forms, doing all the doctors appointments, spending way too much time at the orthodontist, going to the post office and the bank, but I don't do the lawn and, like a PP, I also married a Bob Vila. I figure that by the time I die, it will all even out so I don't think about it.

[Anonymous]

I am self employed, so all the responsibilty is still all mine.
Even on Dh's days off he doesn't take the kids to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

DH has done more of the dr. appts because he has more time off than I do - that also means he has to schedule them since it is his schedule. I tend to do the applications and forms (other than medical forms), scheduling play dates/activities, planning vacations just because. From early on in the relationship I've done the legwork/research from wedding planning to selecting a daycare and present him with the top options to get his opinion. This doesn't seem too out of the ordinary from other women I've spoken to. DH handles a lot - buying, washing and sorting the kids clothes (I put the laundry away and do the twice a year closet cleaning), cooking dinner, and kitchen cleanup. We split the gift buying - I will normally get the kids gifts - especially as part of my researching gene but he buys the ones for his parents and siblings and I buy the ones for my parents and siblings though occasionally he may ask me to pick something. If we do any kind of budget, that would fall to me. I also do the taxes. He pays most of the smaller bills (I'm not that organized when it comes to that), while I have a few big ones I cover. With the shopping, I really don't enjoy going into brick and mortar stores for the most part so I do end up doing the internet shopping while DH does the brick and mortar shopping.

Overall we have found a balance that works - if anything I probably need to add some more items. DH likes to joke that I am "management"

[Anonymous]

I fill out the forms, plan vacations, schedule playdates, plan our social life, pay the bills, buy gifts, plan our child's activities and all that stuff. I prefer it that way. My husband periodically will say, "I think we should plan a dinner with X (a friend of his from college that I cannot stand)" and I say, "Oh me too. Let me know when you get that set up. I read about a great new Thai place..." Never happens. Or at least once a year, "I want her to be playing soccer this season." Me: "What a great idea. You played soccer in college and on that travel team, right? Let me know when you have researched all the leagues in the area and have narrowed it down to the best choices so we can decide where she should play." Never happens.

Instead, we do swimming and are about to start synchro. We socialize with our contemporaries and not friends that he had nothing in common with anymore. We go on vacations that I like and I plan childcare into the vacation so I can actually have a vacation.

This year though, I am going to fill out the school forms with only his name and number so he will have to deal with it if there is a problem. I am so sick of the school only calling me. As in, "we called you 50 times to tell you your child was sick! You are supposed to pick her up!" Me: "Really? Did you hear my cell phone message...you know the one that says I am in a jury trial for the next three days and if this is the school, call my husband? Did you call my husband when I did not respond?" Them: "Ummmm...no." THAT makes my blood boil more than filling out 50 forms.

He does the dishes, trash, fixes things, puts the laundry away, does anything and everything for or child and always has, works the grill. Really, it is so to my advantage that I make the plans. He never questions them. I could tell him that his mom could come over between 12 and 12:15 on Christmas day and he would not bat an eyelash. I embrace my role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fill out the forms, plan vacations, schedule playdates, plan our social life, pay the bills, buy gifts, plan our child's activities and all that stuff. I prefer it that way. My husband periodically will say, "I think we should plan a dinner with X (a friend of his from college that I cannot stand)" and I say, "Oh me too. Let me know when you get that set up. I read about a great new Thai place..." Never happens. Or at least once a year, "I want her to be playing soccer this season." Me: "What a great idea. You played soccer in college and on that travel team, right? Let me know when you have researched all the leagues in the area and have narrowed it down to the best choices so we can decide where she should play." Never happens.

Instead, we do swimming and are about to start synchro. We socialize with our contemporaries and not friends that he had nothing in common with anymore. We go on vacations that I like and I plan childcare into the vacation so I can actually have a vacation.

This year though, I am going to fill out the school forms with only his name and number so he will have to deal with it if there is a problem. I am so sick of the school only calling me. As in, "we called you 50 times to tell you your child was sick! You are supposed to pick her up!" Me: "Really? Did you hear my cell phone message...you know the one that says I am in a jury trial for the next three days and if this is the school, call my husband? Did you call my husband when I did not respond?" Them: "Ummmm...no." THAT makes my blood boil more than filling out 50 forms.

He does the dishes, trash, fixes things, puts the laundry away, does anything and everything for or child and always has, works the grill. Really, it is so to my advantage that I make the plans. He never questions them. I could tell him that his mom could come over between 12 and 12:15 on Christmas day and he would not bat an eyelash. I embrace my role.

Yes! Why do the schools/daycare call the mom only?

[Anonymous]

I do all of the things you mention. I don't mind that so much. What I mind is always being the one to comfort DS when he wakes at night or to put DS to sleep. But DS refuses to let DH do these things (we have tried many times).

DH does many other things - all the yardwork, scheduling repairs and maintenance for the house, grocery shopping, laundry.

I do the budget because I like it. We split planning vacations and he is good about planning things for my birthday, mother's day and getting me gifts. We each get DS our own gift for birthdays and holidays.

[Anonymous]

i make all appointments, for the house/vacation/dog/DC/etc...but, he does all the vacuuming, yard work (except weeding the front yard), taking the cars to get serviced or registered, etc. i call about bill complaints...he seems terrified to talk to anyone on the phone...like aliens might pop out or something. but he takes down all the laundry (though i sort, and we both fold).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No to everything except tools and fixing stuff. I practically married Bob Vila. He can build anything and is probably more handy and detailed with his finish work than more contractors.

I will GLADLY take care of all kids related concerns, because he saved us 10s of thousands of dollars remodeling our kitchen himself (and it was a MAJOR remodel that actually changed the footprint of the kitchen and moved a load bearing wall). We each have our jurisdictions and our defined "roles" make for a pretty harmonious household.

can i borrow your husband for a bit? we can swap. mine does a heck of a job with laundry.