MIL mad grandson not interested in her gift

[Anonymous]

So, my MIL got my son a toy that is really too advanced for him (a claymation maker kit, you have to use the iPad.) It is really something we will have to sit down and do with him, although in looking through the pieces and explaining the concept with him, he shows zero interest in sitting down and doing it (like I said, he's too young still.)

MIL keeps asking us if he's played with it yet. We keep telling her that it is more complex than she may have thought, and DH (or I) will have to devote a lazy Sunday or something to this activity, something we haven't had with the holidays.

She's mad now. We don't appreciate the gift. Why does she try. It had such great ratings, why won't grandson play with it?

I honestly don't see him playing with it for another three years or more. It's an advanced toy. I wish we could exchange it, as I know it was costly, but she opened it right up with him in Christmas.

Ignore her or what?

[Anonymous]

How far away does she live? Anything I don't want my kids playing with around or with me that MIL gives me, I just bring over to her house when we visit and "forget" it.

If she tries to do it with him herself, she'll see how inappropriate it was.

[Anonymous]

Women like that are so insufferable. I'm sorry OP. Call her out, "Martha, I can hear that you feel unappreciated. If gift-giving is going to cause such strife, let's focus on the non-gift giving part of the holidays next year."

[Anonymous]

What is the age range recommended by the manufacturer? Reassure her that it's a GREAT gift, but he's a little young for it. We've all bought our kids stuff they weren't quite ready for. NBD.

[Anonymous]

"It looks so wonderful, but he's not interested at this point, because it's too advanced for him. We'll save it for later." And then refuse to engage.

[Anonymous]

Let her be mad then.

[Anonymous]

"As we mentioned, it is too advanced for him. I did some online research, and it seems this gift is best suited for ages 8 and up. We will save it for later. Thank you for the thought."

If she asks again, respond VERBATIM.

[Anonymous]

We are going through this with a dvd (The Sound of Music) my parents got my daughter for Christmas. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a real piece of work. A polite person wouldn't pitch a fit just because their gift wasn't a big hit. I bet you have to throw a lot of fake enthusiasm over every gift she gives. If she asks again, just tell her he loves it now and plays with it all the time. It's better than having to endure the passive aggressive garbage she throws at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"As we mentioned, it is too advanced for him. I did some online research, and it seems this gift is best suited for ages 8 and up. We will save it for later. Thank you for the thought."

If she asks again, respond VERBATIM.

This -- but OP, your husband has this talk with his mom. You do not.

Adult children handle their own parents when those parents start carping about nonsense.

If your husband is not willing to tell his mom that son will enjoy the toy when son's a bit older, then husband is an issue himself. I hope he will use the script above and tell MIL nicely and firmly what PP recommends. Repeat as needed.

[Anonymous]

You need to explain to her that the age recommendations on toys are useful.

[Anonymous]

Omg. If she is not there, just lie. Yes, he likes it, then change the subject. or, he has played with a little, but I really think this is one of those toys he is going to grow into and love for years.

[Anonymous]

"We're saving it for you to do with him when you come visit next!"

[Anonymous]

We always just say thank you. When a family member or other gift giver follows up we say "He can't wait to use it!" Usually that is enough to make the giver feel appreciated. We never give negative feedback about a gift unless the giver solicits it. "I hope it's not too advanced." In that case we might say it's a little advanced for independent play but DS will surely be able to enjoy it with our help. If MIL lives far away and mentions it again, say he enjoyed it and leave it at that. We have even gone so far as to open toys and pose with them to show our appreciation even if DS didn't love it or it wasn't really a good fit. It's the thought that counts and we just want to be appreciative.

I know there are a few insufferable ILs out there but I don't think your MIL sounds that bad. My MIL shows ZERO interest in our kids. Gifts are an impersonal $25 Amazon gift card for every Christmas and birthday. She gives the same exact gift to all 10 grandkids. I would LOVE for her to try to pick something. Personally, I spend a lot of time and effort purchasing gifts for my nieces and nephews and assume other gift givers have the best of intentions.

[Anonymous]

Wow! My family would love that gift. But we are in our 40s and our kid is a teen. We love claymation.