Would you give $500 or $1000 to a Facebook acquaintance you know is struggling?

[Anonymous]

I am a frequent reader and rare poster to Facebook. I grew up in a smaller city and went to school with many of the same kids from 1-12 grades, many of whom are on FB. I'm FB friends with a girl who was a close friend in elementary school and an acquaintance in high school. I haven't spoken to her in real life in 20 years. I know you can't judge anyone by their FB postings, but I enjoy reading her updates because she's such a free spirit, has interesting thoughts, posts interesting art, music and articles, has a good relationship with her kids, and she doesn't seem to whitewash her life just for the sake of social media. She got pregnant in HS, so her oldest son is in college now. She struggled for years as a single mom, put herself through college, seems to have had another failed relationship and now has 3 kids (1 college, 2 middle school), who appear to be creative, kooky kids who are close to their mom. 2 of them are Eagle Scouts and the oldest is working his way through a small regional college.

Anyway...she just bought a car from a less-than-reputable dealer, which promptly broke down and needs a new engine. Our city doesn't have good public transportation, so a car is vital to keeping a job. She's asked on FB for leads for odd jobs that she can pick up in addition to her current FT job so she can afford the car repairs.

I don't know why, but I have an urge to help her. She seems like a nice person and a great mom who has done the best with the cards she's been dealt, and she's kept a good attitude throughout. Of course, I have no way to know if this is the whole story since I see her life only through the FB lens.

Is it incredibly weird to offer her a $500 or $1,000 loan? I know I would have to expect to not be repaid. Should she be able to easily get a loan from a bank or a money lender or something similar so she doesn't really need a cash loan, but is really just looking for extra work? (Fully acknowledging my privilege here - I genuinely don't understand how easy or difficult it is to get money from a place like that). If you needed cash pretty desperately, how would you feel about a relative stranger reaching out to offer some?

[Anonymous]

My husband did this but it was for a good friend who he had dated for a while in college and we saw as often as we could despite her being on the west coast. Her apartment got broken into and her bike got stolen out of a subway station locker the same week. Sent her $500 that we did not expect to get back.

[Anonymous]

I might direct her to an organization like "Modest Needs" which is a crowd funding org where the donations are tax deductible. If she applied for a grant and had her need approved, I might throw her cause a few hundred.

But no, I wouldn't give $1000 to a relative stranger in need.

[Anonymous]

Tough call. I would prefer to pick up odd jobs then take out any loan. I'd ask her though. If no leads on jobs then I'm sure she would appreciate the loan.

[Anonymous]

I would do it if I could find a way to do it anonymously.

[Anonymous]

I think it's important to pay attention to those urges sometimes and I haven't regretted helping others who seem to be temporarily down in their lives.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn't give money. But I also don't think it's weird you're giving money. I have donated to friends with cancer (was a single woman in med school that had to drop out due to leukemia. She didn't have a husband to help pay her rent while she was sick and undergoing treatments. She also had 6 figures of med school debt).

I'm more likely to give money if they don't make a damn go fund me page. I absolutely hate those things!

[Anonymous]

Why not? I think it would be a great thing to do. If you're lucky enough to be in a position to do it consider it being charitable to someone who is deserving.

[Anonymous]

Only do it as a gift, not a loan. You could say something about paying forward a helping hand you got at some point, give her the money, and just ask her to pay it forward some day down the road when she can.

[Anonymous]

If I could afford it, yes. I agree with 13:23, pay attention to the universe. This is paying it forward in the most basic aspect.

[Anonymous]

I would give what I could afford but not a loan

[Anonymous]

I would do it as a gift, not a loan. I would feel odd if an old acquaintance offered me a loan. If you offer the money and she insists on paying it back that would be fine but I would not ask.

$500 or $1000 is more than I can gift someone though, so I would not offer. It seems like you are compelled to help, so give her what you can afford. I have never regretted helping someone who needed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give what I could afford but not a loan

Op here. I was thinking a "loan" would be more palatable so she doesn't feel like a charity case but perhaps that's not the right approach. How could I do it annonymously if I don't have her address?

[Anonymous]

Wow I'm shocked so many people say yes. I say no way.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would. I wouldn't describe it as a loan, but I'd ask her to give someone in need a similar amount when she's able.