Don't want to be seen w/ him, but still date ?

[Anonymous]

Started chatting with a guy online about 5 weeks ago, he went away for training for a week so we met when he returned. I am 25, I was told he was 43.When I met him, I noticed he had a slight beer belly and his hair was practically all silver. Most of his pictures were from the waist up and I think older (maybe 2-3 years ago?) but I wasnt expecting this. . . I still proceeding w/ the date and enjoyed myself, but I was wondering, there's no way he's 43. Anyways, we've processed to talk and plan to meet again, but I found out 2 days ago that he's 53,I do enjoy our chats, and he is a nice guy, but he looks too old and I don't want to be seen w/ him. I have dated older guys, but they were in awesome shape and could easily pass for 35. I don't want to be shallow, should I tell him that I don't want to be seen with him or just end it ? I'm not sure how to explain this w/o hurting his feelings, but I don't want to keep going on dates w/ him either. . We can hang out at his place or go see a movie, but that's it. I feel horrible even typing that.

[Anonymous]

Just say he's too old for you and you don't want to invest anymore time into it.

[Anonymous]

He's a liar. Dump him.

[Anonymous]

He's also delusional to think a 25 yo would be interested in a 53 yo man.

[Anonymous]

If he's the one who told you he was 43, and you know for certain that he lied (as opposed to hearing his age second hand from someone else), that alone is reason to reconsider seeing him at all. If he has lied about his age to you, he easily could be lying about many other things of much greater importance.

And to look at it from the other side: If you hang out with him etc. you are leading him on, frankly, and letting him think you might be interested in more. Whether "more" would mean a relationship (which you clearly don't want, because you can't have a real relationship that involves never being seen together, ever) or whether "more" would mean just sex (which you also don't want, right? Since he turns you off physically with his beer belly?) -- either way, just tell him you've enjoyed chatting with him but you're not interested in continuing to stay in contact with him.

Don't "ghost" him and just disappear and stop answering all communications. That would be immature. Tell him that you are moving on and then move on. But you might want to take it all as a lesson that online, you are always going to get what they want you to hear and see. If you have strong preferences about age and build, maybe meeting guys in real life through activities that interest both of you would be better than meeting them online.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a loser. He lied about his age. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to continue dating him?? Are you attracted to him?

FFS no,don't tell him you don't want to be seen with him. If you feel that way, then tell him the age difference is too much and not what you expected, and it's not going to work out.

Did he lie about his age or was it a misunderstanding? The dude is too old for you.

[Anonymous]

He lied. He's way too old. End it now.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that if you want to date someone 53 you'll call your father.

[Anonymous]

Lying about your age, at any age, would be a problem for me. Just say, you were told he was younger and the age difference is too great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lying about your age, at any age, would be a problem for me. Just say, you were told he was younger and the age difference is too great.

+1
Lying about anything means he'll lie about a lot more. My friend dated a guy who initially lied about his age (10yrs older than her)
I warned her he's a liar but she accepted his lame excuse that his passport age was wrong due his immigration issues blah blah ... Turned out he was lying and cheating left and right, but took 1.5 years to realize.

Run!&

[Anonymous]

This is what is know as a FWB or, more likely, a fu.. Buddy.

That sounds like the kind of relationship you want with him. He may not be opposed. As for those judging you and judging him, I'd ignore them. To each, his or her own. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that if you want to date someone 53 you'll call your father.

Now that's gross.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be concerned as much with the age as the fact he lied, plain and simple. And not a little white lie, but a big one of 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god please do not ever see him ever again. Block his number immediately!!!!!!!!