Friend refuses to respect boundaries

[Anonymous]

I have a slightly older male friend that I feel I need to write off. I've stated many times I only see him as a friend. He continuously tells me how attractive he thinks I am, how he loves me, how he wishes I would visit him. He is single and often times smothers me with wanting to constantly talk on the phone. I have told him over and over he needs to stop because it makes me uncomfortable. He will comply and the next time he says those things he will follow it with " I know you don't like it but I had to say it so take it" or " I don't care..I'm going to say it". I feel bad because he is a widow and I know he's lonely. I am starting to hit my breaking point and feel like telling him not to contact my anymore. Would you pity an older lonely man, or cut contact?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know his comments are coming from a place of good but it creeps me out.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. I'd cut contact.

[Anonymous]

Disgusting. Cut contact immediately

[Anonymous]

He's going to be a widow forever if he smothers women that way. I'd block his phone number/email address, cut him from Facebook, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. I'd cut contact.

So would I.

He needs to sort out his feelings w/a therapist instead
of pining after you.

I mean....You told him DIRECTLY how you feel, yet he
is still saying all of these inappropriate things to you
regardless.

Friendship is a two-way street.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I would cut him off. I would not be flattered if I specifically told someone that I don't have romantic feelings but he still continued to impose his will. Either he is selfish or takes your taking his calls as a sign you didn't mean what you said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a slightly older male friend that I feel I need to write off. I've stated many times I only see him as a friend. He continuously tells me how attractive he thinks I am, how he loves me, how he wishes I would visit him. He is single and often times smothers me with wanting to constantly talk on the phone. I have told him over and over he needs to stop because it makes me uncomfortable. He will comply and the next time he says those things he will follow it with " I know you don't like it but I had to say it so take it" or " I don't care..I'm going to say it". I feel bad because he is a widow and I know he's lonely. I am starting to hit my breaking point and feel like telling him not to contact my anymore. Would you pity an older lonely man, or cut contact?

It's tough because you obviously get off on the fact that this man lavishes attention on you. You don't actually like him, but you're ego tripping on the fact that he's smitten with you. Lots of women do this kind of thing, it's called "leading him along," but you were supposed to stop doing this oh by 8th or 9th grade. As a grown woman don't pretend to be so naive, it makes you look insincere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I would cut him off. I would not be flattered if I specifically told someone that I don't have romantic feelings but he still continued to impose his will. Either he is selfish or takes your taking his calls as a sign you didn't mean what you said.

He's not "imposing his will." Op is attention-seeking and attention-craving, even though she doesn't actually like the man himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I would cut him off. I would not be flattered if I specifically told someone that I don't have romantic feelings but he still continued to impose his will. Either he is selfish or takes your taking his calls as a sign you didn't mean what you said.

He's not "imposing his will." Op is attention-seeking and attention-craving, even though she doesn't actually like the man himself.

Found the creepy old dude!

[Anonymous]

Cut contact. No more warnings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I would cut him off. I would not be flattered if I specifically told someone that I don't have romantic feelings but he still continued to impose his will. Either he is selfish or takes your taking his calls as a sign you didn't mean what you said.

He's not "imposing his will." Op is attention-seeking and attention-craving, even though she doesn't actually like the man himself.

Despite what the told you in the manosphere, women don't crave or seek attention from losers or guys they don't find attractive. No one is flattered, no one is interested, no one cares. The only thing OP is guilty of is trying to be too "nice".

[Anonymous]

Obviously if OP hasn't fully cut him off yet, she likes the attention to some degree. If it bothered her enough, he wouldn't be a part of his life and she wouldn't be posting this.

[Anonymous]

It is not coming from a good place, OP. He may not mean to be malicious but he is coming from a place of entitlement and expectation. Cut it off.

[Anonymous]

He's not really being a good friend, OP, if he makes comments which he knows will make you uncomfortable.

I would call him and say that you will take a break from this relationship until he understands that when you say no, you mean no.