Feelings for trainer--end the business relationship?!?!?!

[Anonymous]

He's a few years younger. I just cannot train with him much longer, his body is just too tempting. How do i have that "are you with someone" convo?

I resisted the PT cliche for 5 years, but now I want to see him personally. Don't bother (because he is probably seeing someone?) or ask him?? Ugh....the suspense. The past year has felt like cat and mouse: exciting, but I won't do this in 2017. We have gotten to know each other, and I would like to get to know him, for real.

[Anonymous]

Are you single? I say go for it- he sounds hot!

[Anonymous]

I say it depends on how much you REALKY like him versus how much you want him to train you. Keep in mind his job is to build a rapport with his clients and make them feel comfortable. It's how he keeps them coming back for more.

[Anonymous]

I dated my trainer/martial arts instructor. Honestly, the fantasy was better than the reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say it depends on how much you REALKY like him versus how much you want him to train you. Keep in mind his job is to build a rapport with his clients and make them feel comfortable. It's how he keeps them coming back for more.

IDK, I've had a trainer who was into me and it was very obvious. Very different from other experiences with trainers. I don't think eye f***ing you is part of the "building a rapport" plan that HR encourages. So long as you are competent at reading basic adult signs of interest, I think you can easily tell when someone is just being friendly. Actually, since I was just out of a relationship and not wanting to date, the trainer who was very into me made me very uncomfortable, so I doubt that's a strategy they would use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my trainer/martial arts instructor. Honestly, the fantasy was better than the reality.

Did he get needy? All the big, ripped, muscle types I've dated have gotten needy. I don't know what it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated my trainer/martial arts instructor. Honestly, the fantasy was better than the reality.

Did he get needy? All the big, ripped, muscle types I've dated have gotten needy. I don't know what it is

Steroids mess yo hormones.

[Anonymous]

Sexual harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a few years younger. I just cannot train with him much longer, his body is just too tempting. How do i have that "are you with someone" convo?

I resisted the PT cliche for 5 years, but now I want to see him personally. Don't bother (because he is probably seeing someone?) or ask him?? Ugh....the suspense. The past year has felt like cat and mouse: exciting, but I won't do this in 2017. We have gotten to know each other, and I would like to get to know him, for real.

You've been with him for a year and still don't' know if he's dating anybody? sounds like this is purely a professional relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a few years younger. I just cannot train with him much longer, his body is just too tempting. How do i have that "are you with someone" convo?

I resisted the PT cliche for 5 years, but now I want to see him personally. Don't bother (because he is probably seeing someone?) or ask him?? Ugh....the suspense. The past year has felt like cat and mouse: exciting, but I won't do this in 2017. We have gotten to know each other, and I would like to get to know him, for real.

If at this point you don't know anything about his personal life - like whether or not he's seeing someone - guess what? He's just not that into you. Let it go, OP.

[Anonymous]

I had an acquaintance, a successful physician, who married her trainer. Not only did they end up divorcing; it was a NASTY divorce. No kids, thank goodness, but he wanted alimony and all kinds of other stuff. She moved far away.

An awful mess, and I guess it confirms the "needy" hypothesis.

[Anonymous]

He's doing his job. He's keeps you interested. He's more successful getting/keeping clients if he is attractive to you, and he plays that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say it depends on how much you REALKY like him versus how much you want him to train you. Keep in mind his job is to build a rapport with his clients and make them feel comfortable. It's how he keeps them coming back for more.

IDK, I've had a trainer who was into me and it was very obvious. Very different from other experiences with trainers. I don't think eye f***ing you is part of the "building a rapport" plan that HR encourages. So long as you are competent at reading basic adult signs of interest, I think you can easily tell when someone is just being friendly. Actually, since I was just out of a relationship and not wanting to date, the trainer who was very into me made me very uncomfortable, so I doubt that's a strategy they would use.

She's been using him for a year. If he was that into her, he would have made a move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my trainer/martial arts instructor. Honestly, the fantasy was better than the reality.

OP here..LOL
I am thinking that this could be the case, hence the reason I kept things professional and did not flirt w/him. Go in for sessions, chat about news/life, etc, and focus on improving my body--which is what I am PAYING FOR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say it depends on how much you REALKY like him versus how much you want him to train you. Keep in mind his job is to build a rapport with his clients and make them feel comfortable. It's how he keeps them coming back for more.

OP, this is what I thinking. The training may wrap up in the next 6 months, partially because we have disagreed on training style. I want more cardio (fat-burning), calinetics, pilates, etc and he is too quick to put me on a machine. I feel annoyed by the machine work--not because i am against weight training, it was bulking me up!! (I don't care what anyone else says, I SAW IT)