What did I do wrong?

[Anonymous]

Early 30s here. Male. Met a woman on Tinder. We've gone on a few proper but casual dates. One nice dinner (around date #3). Have made it clear (and she's said likewise) that for a variety of reasons (both recently out of serious relationships) that we're in no rush for anything serious. We've slept together on date 3 and the sex has been pretty electric. i'm away for the holidays (she's actually from out of the country and isn't with her family). i hadn't been checking in religiously but we've had some nice text conversations every 4-5 days. tonight she replies to a very nice text I sent her with, "if you want to see me when you return you should text me more than once a week (smiley face wink emoticon)." Did I really do something wrong? I've purposefully been trying to keep it light. We haven't even discussed exclusivity and I'm away for a few weeks visiting my family for the holidays. I feel like her reaction is really telling. Am I wrong to feel like her text is a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Dont overthink it. Do you like her? Do you want to get to know her better? Then do it.

[Anonymous]

Yes you did. You didn't text her enough. Duh.

[Anonymous]

If you liked her that much, you would text her more often than every 4 days. The red flag here is that you don't want to text her more..

[Anonymous]

Text her more. Is this really difficult or worthy of a DCUM thread? My God.

[Anonymous]

Most people would not be okay with a text once every 5 days. If a guy did that to me I would demote him to acquaintance (not even friend) status and move on from him. That's why she's surprised when you pop in

[Anonymous]

Well, you shouldn't have had sex with her so early. That clearly meant something more to her than you.

[Anonymous]

She's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Dating by text sucks. If you are interested, text her more frequently and see if you can move the relationship to more traditional ground, ie actually getting together once or twice a week instead of texting. Or at least talking on the phone so you can have a meaningful conversation.

[Anonymous]

Female here---I'm in a similar new relationship. We've been out on 3 dates but no sex yet. We've been seeing each other for about a month. Due to family and work commitments, more dates just haven't been on the table. This week has been terrible.

However, I wake up every morning to a hello text. I get a how's your day going text sometime in the middle of the day, and I get some sort of goodnight text.

He's not overbearing. But I know he's interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's just not that into you.

Opposite. She is into him, but doesn't want to be strung along with once or twice a week text convo's. I give her credit for articulating what she's looking for. Step up or step off, young man!!

[Anonymous]

First, I think you should call her on the phone instead of texting exclusively. My then-boyfriend (now husband) and I had a two-year long distance relationship when he was working here and I was working in Europe. We phoned each other.

Second, the smiley tells you she's not angry, just ready for a little more communication. This is not a red flag unless you never wanted anything more than what you have right now, which is pretty much nothing.

Third: do you think you're ready too?

[Anonymous]

If you only have been texting her every 4-5 days OP then that is very telling to me that you don't really like her as much as she likes you.

The fact that on Date #3, you both slept together is not "taking things slow."

It's unfair to sleep w/someone, then only text them like once a week because you don't want to move too quickly.

This is pretty simple logic that I think you should be able to figure out on your own......

[Anonymous]

How dumb are you OP

[Anonymous]

With texts, it's hard to read someone's tone. I don't think she was upset with you. The emoticons were her attempt to keep it light. However, she definitely wants more contact. So more texts or even a phone conversation.