Straw poll: Mom's parents vs. Dad's parents
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Anonymous
| Were/are you closer with maternal or paternal grandparents? Was this strictly circumstantial/personality based, or was it because of family dynamics and your parents' management of their respective family relationships? |
Anonymous
| It was equal, largely because we all lived in the same city. My paternal grandfather lived with us until he passed (paternal grandma died when I was 5), then my maternal grandma lived with us until she passed (paternal grandpa died when I was 8). |
Anonymous
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Strictly circumstantial. My mother parents died when she was 9 (dad) and 14 (mom).
My children were closer to my grandparents for various random reasons including timing and proximity. My sister's children are closer to her DH's parents mainly due to proximity and personality. |
Anonymous
| Much closer to mom's parents. They lived in the same city. Plus, dad and his parents had a strained relationship; I'm sure there was stuff going on behind the scenes that I didn't know about, but as far as I could tell, dad's parents made no effort to build a relationship with me and my brother. |
Anonymous
| Both pretty much equally, somewhat circumstantial and somewhat because we lived pretty close together. I'm more like my dad's mom, and sought out time with her. We spent every other Friday night at my maternal grandparents' house for Shabbat. Loved them too, though we had ideological differences. |
Anonymous
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Mothers parents. We all lived in the same area, and we even lived with my dad's mom until I was 3, and she was at our house almost daily. However, she was also very critical. She would take us to plays and stuff like that because that's what she wanted to do. Supper boring for a kid. My other grandmother would have us over for hamburgers and cookies. She was much more loving and grandmotherly. You can guess which one lived to be 97.
So true the good die young. |
Anonymous
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We had a strange set up. Both grandfathers died before I was born but, my one grandmother was a feminist ( Dad's mom) so she didn't like us very much and favored my Aunt's children but, my Mom's mom favored my cousins because they were the children of her boys ( she thought the boys were the best)
Overall slightly closer to my Mom's mom because she liked children and had a big heart. I often wondered why my dad's mom even had kids! She never hugged or kissed any of us and seemed to avoid us when we were together. Never remember any conversation either! |
Anonymous
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Neither. Maternal grandpa was deceased before any grandchildren were born, dad was estranged from his father. Maternal grandmother had a stroke when I was three and had no short term memory, thought I was my 10 year older cousin. Paternal grandma preferred my brother as the only male grandchild.
Our next door neighbors were like grandparents to me and better than I could have ever asked for. |
Anonymous
Myy children were closer with maternal GP's. Why? They were the only GC and paternals already had over 5 others some of which lived near their house. By the time mine came along one was in poor health and they went away in winter. Didn't come back for birth. |
Anonymous
| Dad's parents. They were much kinder and made a lot of effort to bring the family all together (gobs of aunts/uncles/cousins on both sides). |
Anonymous
^ and my kids are closer to my parents for the same reason. ILs are selfish/not as nice and never try to get together. Even though they live much closer. |
Anonymous
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For myself, maternal grandparents (mostly due to circumstance). They lived in the same city and took care of me for a year in the home country when my parents came to the US and the consulate denied my visa because my parents could not prove they had enough income to support the whole family. My paternal grandmother died when my father was 15 and my paternal grandfather was exiled when my father was 2 and did not make contact until I was 6. However, he started a new family by then and so he wasn't that close to my father (or his siblings) much less the grandchildren.
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Anonymous
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Maternal grandparents due to personality. They took a lot of care of us when we were young, but we moved to another state when I was 4. We spent weeks with both sets of grandparents every summer, and I loved them both, but my maternal grandparents were just more warm and enthusiastic, my paternal grandparents were more reserved and they had more grandchildren. We were the only one's on my mom's side and family meant the world to them.
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Anonymous
| Dad's parents rocked my world! |
Anonymous
| Mothers parents. I feel like I live in a matriarchy here. I also (dw here) manage our family aspect of the marriage. |