Jewish Families: What are your holiday traditions?

[Anonymous]

DH and I are culturally Jewish but not very religious; currently do not below to a synagogue. I'm curious to hear from other Jewish families what your rituals, traditions, etc. are during the holidays. Now that we have a baby it's been on my mind a lot. I'd like to foster and create a sense of tradition for my family but it's so hard not to get pulled into all things sparkly and Christmas-y. What are your traditions and ways to get through the holidays when you don't celebrate Christmas? I'd love to find a way to enjoy this time of year and not have it just be something to get through.

[Anonymous]

1. Caveat to all below - one thing we do is celebrate Jewish holidays through the year - Passover, Purim, Sukkos, Shavous, Simchas Torah, and the High Holydays - Hanukkah is a minor holiday it is NOT the Jewish Christmas, other than by placement in the calendar.

2. We play Hanukkah songs. Lots of good collections, with songs silly and serious. When our kid was small we sung them together

3. On the holiday itself, we light candles (we have one menorah that can take oil, but we have not had much success with it) One menorah for each family member, and lighting each night. with blessings, Maoz Tzur (a traditional hymn) and songs.

4. Dreidels of course. Hanukkah gelt (chocolate coins)

5. We make latkes.

6. When our kid was in religious school they did all kinds of stuff, including making menorahs.

7. We have attended parties and communal events

8. Of course on Shabbos Hanukkah, we go to shul, where we hear the traditional haftarah for the holiday, from Zechariah ("not by might, nor by power" - and there is another great song!)

[Anonymous]

Note

You have to decide what kind of cultural Jew you are. When I was a wee lad, cultural Jew meant national/Zionist Jew - in Israel secular Jews often emphasized the heroic/military/national rebellion aspect of the holiday (as opposed to the miracle of the lights) But that kind of secular Jewishness is not out of fashion.

If you are a Yiddishist Jew you can sing hanukkah songs in Yiddish instead of Hebrew.

[Anonymous]

"now out of fashion"

[Anonymous]

Latke and vodka party, gambling with dreidel game and chocolate gelt, Adam Sandler Hanukah songs, candle menorah and electric menorah in the window.

[Anonymous]

We make latkes at least once during the holiday, light the menorah each night, and make Hanukkah-themed gingerbread cookies. We also have some fun dreidel lights & Hanukkah-themed window gel clings that we decorate with because we enjoy decorating. If you're in the DC area, you can also go to the National menorah lighting--does require signing up for (free) tickets, though. Right now while the kids are small, we pull out the Hanukkah-themed kids books to read as well.

[Anonymous]

First I'd look to how you grew up and "got through the holidays" not celebrating Christmas. Any traditions you want to continue? In any case, I'd say the biggies are making/eating latkes, lighting a menorah, and playing dreidel. All can be done at home and/or at a local Jewish Community Center or synagogue, where there are always events and activities open to non-members, especially for families with young children.

On Christmas, if you don't have Christian relatives or friends you generally spend time with, the most Jewish things you can do (not necessarily with baby though) are to go to the movies and get Chinese food and to volunteer to serve Christmas meals or other community service.

Chag Sameach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Note

You have to decide what kind of cultural Jew you are. When I was a wee lad, cultural Jew meant national/Zionist Jew - in Israel secular Jews often emphasized the heroic/military/national rebellion aspect of the holiday (as opposed to the miracle of the lights) But that kind of secular Jewishness is not out of fashion.

If you are a Yiddishist Jew you can sing hanukkah songs in Yiddish instead of Hebrew.

Huh? You don't have to "decide" anything. Just do what you want! I don't fully understand the OP's question - are you asking what we do on Chanukah? Or what we do over the "holiday" period? I'm not sure if you're distinguishing between the two or not, but I am, just to point out that Chanukah falls on different days each year. This year it is exactly when Christmas is, but sometimes it is right at the beginning of December or even end of November, and so by the time you get to the "holiday" period it's all over. For Chanukah, we do the traditional things - lighting the chanukiah, singing Chanukah songs, we have latkes and doughnuts and the kids get small gifts and chocolate coins. We don't do anything for Christmas and we don't have any decorations or anything. As the PP said, Chanukah is a minor Jewish festival, and we celebrate all the others too so it's not really a big deal for us. We enjoy the Christmassy sparkle out on the streets of our neighborhood/stores, etc, but we don't have any of that in our house. However, lighting the Chanukiah and having a house filled with the smell of latkes makes me feel very festive! If you haven't already, get "The Latke Who Wouldn't Stop Screaming" - it's funny and deals with this question, and will be enjoyable for your kid when s/he's a bit older.

[Anonymous]

OP here- to answer the PP, I'm asking about the holiday season (ie, after thanksgiving through New Years time frame). I suppose I'm in the minority but I grew up culturally Jewish but not around a lot of Jews so I was always envious of all of the Christmas stuff (cookie decorating, decorating the house, picking out a tree, etc.).

Yes, I know that Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings but I don't want my kid to feel left out of the holiday fun and want to foster some non-religious traditions for our family. I guess the closest is the move and chinese food idea but obviously it's not very baby/toddler friendly!

Thanks PP for the book recommendation- I'll check it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to answer the PP, I'm asking about the holiday season (ie, after thanksgiving through New Years time frame). I suppose I'm in the minority but I grew up culturally Jewish but not around a lot of Jews so I was always envious of all of the Christmas stuff (cookie decorating, decorating the house, picking out a tree, etc.).

Yes, I know that Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings but I don't want my kid to feel left out of the holiday fun and want to foster some non-religious traditions for our family. I guess the closest is the move and chinese food idea but obviously it's not very baby/toddler friendly!

Thanks PP for the book recommendation- I'll check it out.

The reality is that very few things are super baby/toddler friendly. When your kid is older you can make Hanukah cookies - there are Hanukah cookie cutters you can get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to answer the PP, I'm asking about the holiday season (ie, after thanksgiving through New Years time frame). I suppose I'm in the minority but I grew up culturally Jewish but not around a lot of Jews so I was always envious of all of the Christmas stuff (cookie decorating, decorating the house, picking out a tree, etc.).

Yes, I know that Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings but I don't want my kid to feel left out of the holiday fun and want to foster some non-religious traditions for our family. I guess the closest is the move and chinese food idea but obviously it's not very baby/toddler friendly!

Thanks PP for the book recommendation- I'll check it out.

I mean you can always do the more secular type activities like going out to look at Christmas lights/zoo lights, Botanical Gardens' train display, making cookies, having a new years party, etc. You can also decorate your house with winter themed stuff like garland, tartans, white snow theme. I decorate my house for fall, so you could decorate your house for winter too without it being religious or looking like you celebrate Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note

You have to decide what kind of cultural Jew you are. When I was a wee lad, cultural Jew meant national/Zionist Jew - in Israel secular Jews often emphasized the heroic/military/national rebellion aspect of the holiday (as opposed to the miracle of the lights) But that kind of secular Jewishness is not out of fashion.

If you are a Yiddishist Jew you can sing hanukkah songs in Yiddish instead of Hebrew.

Huh? You don't have to "decide" anything.

Well yeah, duh. Its not like paying taxes. I though it was obvious I meant that to express yourself as a cultural Jew, you need to decide what kind of cultural Jew you are. If OP just wants to do what everybody else does, or what seems to meet her need that her kid not feel left out, there is no need to explore what her values really are, or what kind of identity she wants to transmit. Nietzche preserve us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to answer the PP, I'm asking about the holiday season (ie, after thanksgiving through New Years time frame). I suppose I'm in the minority but I grew up culturally Jewish but not around a lot of Jews so I was always envious of all of the Christmas stuff (cookie decorating, decorating the house, picking out a tree, etc.).

Yes, I know that Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings but I don't want my kid to feel left out of the holiday fun and want to foster some non-religious traditions for our family. I guess the closest is the move and chinese food idea but obviously it's not very baby/toddler friendly!

Thanks PP for the book recommendation- I'll check it out.

Look I hear you. I just want to point out that for those Jews, religious or cultural, who celebrate (religiously or secularly) the entire Jewish calendar, December is not quite that big a deal. They may do a little hanukkah or a lot, they may do only Hanukkah or even do some secular winter stuff (my wife loves looking our neighbors' lights) but the sense of everyone else having all the fun is less. We have fun too, but not necessarily at the same time of year. I think we make Hanukkah bear too much of the work of countering an entire culture, when there are so many Jewish resources that are more effective that we neglect.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in Boca and half the houses had blue and white lights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to answer the PP, I'm asking about the holiday season (ie, after thanksgiving through New Years time frame). I suppose I'm in the minority but I grew up culturally Jewish but not around a lot of Jews so I was always envious of all of the Christmas stuff (cookie decorating, decorating the house, picking out a tree, etc.).

Yes, I know that Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings but I don't want my kid to feel left out of the holiday fun and want to foster some non-religious traditions for our family. I guess the closest is the move and chinese food idea but obviously it's not very baby/toddler friendly!

Thanks PP for the book recommendation- I'll check it out.

We put up Hanukkah decorations in the house. A Happy Hanukkah banner across the mantel and that sort of thing. We don't go crazy, but enough to make the house feel a little more festive for 8 days. You can make Hanukkah sugar cookies with dreidel and star cut outs too. So far I've hit your "christmasy things" of cookie and house decorating. You will get all sorts of responses on this, but even though Hanukkah is a minor Jewish holiday, we don't have a problem playing it up in our house. We also have or attend a Hanukkah party each year. We eat Latkes at some point over the week and exchange gifts and light the candles each night. We do not go to temple for Hanukkah, but we do belong to a temple.

You can also come up with a different Christmas Day tradition. It can be a movie and Chinese, or you can make it a nice "family day" where you play board games all day, or invite another Jewish family over for brunch or dinner each year, have a movie marathon at home, etc.

You can also make a bigger thing of New Years Eve or New Years Day in your house.

I understand where OP is coming from. There is something festive and happy about the "Christmas" season, and for us at least, it is nice to find a way to embrace that spirit in our own way, without celebrating Christmas.