Would you be mad at your spouse?

[Anonymous]

So earlier tonight, DH and I put our 2 y/o DS to bed. DS has lately been getting out of bed and playing in his room before finally going to sleep. I took the video monitor, and DH was going to read in bed and get to sleep early. I got distracted, and wasn't checking the monitor very closely. I went in DS's room about 20 minutes later to discover that he had gotten hold of an entire jar of Vaseline and spread it all over. Got DH to help clean up, gave DS a bath, and put him back to sleep. DH is now mad at me for not watching the monitor to make sure our DS was safe. The dresser is bolted to the wall, I'm not sure what the issue is. Would you be mad at your spouse? DH says that my parenting skills need improving and he went to sleep in the guest room tonight. Honestly, I think he's over reacting to the whole situation. DS is fine.

[Anonymous]

Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Your DH needs to RELAX.

[Anonymous]

He's overreacting, probably because he's tired. Sounds like he was hoping for some extra rest tonight and instead had to exert additional energy in cleaning up. He was frustrated and snapped at you.

But look, you cannot have your eyes on your son at all times. It is not sane or possible. You MUST toddler-proof his room (NO VASELINE ANYWHERE UNLOCKED) so the worst-case scenario is he falls asleep late and on the floor. Both you and DH need to actively participate in this process, both to ensure the greatest success and to make maintaining its toddler-proofedness easier for you both to remember.

If your marriage is your priority then tomorrow morning you should apologize simply for interrupting his restful evening and say you hope he got some good sleep. At some point in the morning let him know that you'd like to take an hour or two to make DS's room safer given his new behavior - how about Saturday after nap time? Or whenever.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how your dh makes this your problem. Tell him he's in charge of watching ds on the monitor every night from now on then.

[Anonymous]

Who hasn't had this happen?? Kids are sneaky and short of watching the video monitor like a ninja this is going to happen
We had to go remove everything like this from our dds room when she smeared Vaseline all over the floor - until then we could have all of this stuff it and she never would have touched it ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH needs to RELAX.

+1 DH is being an unreasonable jerk. I'd be mad at HIM.

If your DS's room isn't safe (from real danger, not annoying toddler behavior), then he should be in a crib OR the room danger-proofed. It's ridiculous to expect that you'd have to monitor your kid visually. What if he woke up at 2am after you were both asleep?

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed but why are you leaving anything that could be an issue in reach of a young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH needs to RELAX.

+1 DH is being an unreasonable jerk. I'd be mad at HIM.

If your DS's room isn't safe (from real danger, not annoying toddler behavior), then he should be in a crib OR the room danger-proofed. It's ridiculous to expect that you'd have to monitor your kid visually. What if he woke up at 2am after you were both asleep?

You bring up a good point - if our kid wakes up at 2 am, it really won't matter. I wish I had thought of that when he was telling me that my parenting skills needed improving earlier. I will suggest that we toddler proof the room this weekend. I was just irritated at DH because if he had been the one with the monitor, I wouldn't have gotten mad at him. Kids do this type of stuff.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

[Anonymous]

It's HIS kid too so for him to get angry at you is outrageous in my opinion.

Did he expect you to simply sit still and watch the monitor all freaking evening?

Were you allowed bathroom breaks? Could you make a cup of tea? Prepare a snack??!

Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH needs to RELAX.

+1 DH is being an unreasonable jerk. I'd be mad at HIM.

If your DS's room isn't safe (from real danger, not annoying toddler behavior), then he should be in a crib OR the room danger-proofed. It's ridiculous to expect that you'd have to monitor your kid visually. What if he woke up at 2am after you were both asleep?

You bring up a good point - if our kid wakes up at 2 am, it really won't matter. I wish I had thought of that when he was telling me that my parenting skills needed improving earlier. I will suggest that we toddler proof the room this weekend. I was just irritated at DH because if he had been the one with the monitor, I wouldn't have gotten mad at him. Kids do this type of stuff.

PP here - yep. My DD smeared diaper cream all over herself on my DH's watch. Neither of us knew her arms were long enough to reach it. I was 99% amused by it,1% annoyed at the cleanup. Some stuff you catch before it happens, other stuff not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

Oh please. I'm sure she's tired too - we're all freaking tired. But he's also a parent. Vaseline is a beast to clean up, and a toddler covered in it can create more of a mess if there's only one adult.

But here's a cookie for doing it solo.. you win the better mommy award.

[Anonymous]

DH is completely overreacting. Way out of line unless he usually watches kid and just needed a break for once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

OP here, I do see your perspective here. But I think he would have been mad even if I cleaned it up myself and didn't bother him. It was more that the situation occurred.