Would you be mad at your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

OP here, I do see your perspective here. But I think he would have been mad even if I cleaned it up myself and didn't bother him. It was more that the situation occurred.

OP again, also he was tired because he went out for beers with a friend last night - and I'm pretty sure he had a slight hangover today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

Oh please. I'm sure she's tired too - we're all freaking tired. But he's also a parent. Vaseline is a beast to clean up, and a toddler covered in it can create more of a mess if there's only one adult.

But here's a cookie for doing it solo.. you win the better mommy award.

PP you responded to. People are so quick to jump to the wife's rescue because we're mostly female here, but for once I see myself in the husband's situation. I personally find it very difficult to get up once I'm in bed and sleepy. If I delegate the baby's care to my spouse for one night, then I expect them to do the job right, and if not, to make it right without bothering me unless it's serious. It's not as if I cried sick every night, and I hope OP's husband doesn't leave her to deal with the kids all the time.

So spare me your sarcasm. I think OP started the problem by not doing what she was supposed to do. Her husband is justifiably grumpy *because he's tired*, and hopefully will be all right again in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Lots of angry hags in here.

Do you work OP? Are you a SAHM? Your DH obviously needed some sleep and has to get up early. If you're at home all day and don't have to get up then he's going to be irritated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of angry hags in here.

Do you work OP? Are you a SAHM? Your DH obviously needed some sleep and has to get up early. If you're at home all day and don't have to get up then he's going to be irritated

I'm OP. No, I'm not a SAHM. I work full time out of the house, and I bring home just as much money as DH which is mid $100s. I'm not at home at all day, and his need for sleep is no more important than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

I feel this way too. I'd never wake my DH to help and he would t wake me. You just do it. So I'd have been mad at you if I were your DH. Also, agree about taking another look at your childproofing. Vaseline, lotion, anything that can make a mess needs to be out of the room if you have a kid who plays in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of angry hags in here.

Do you work OP? Are you a SAHM? Your DH obviously needed some sleep and has to get up early. If you're at home all day and don't have to get up then he's going to be irritated

I'm OP. No, I'm not a SAHM. I work full time out of the house, and I bring home just as much money as DH which is mid $100s. I'm not at home at all day, and his need for sleep is no more important than mine.

Actually now that I read he just had a self induced hangover from going out the night before, I am even more sure he acted like a jerk. I would let him rest tonight and when he is rested read him the riot act.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids and never had video monitors or even baby monitors once they were 2. What, are you supposed to sit and stare at the thing the whole evening? That's crazy.

[Anonymous]

I think he was wrong to be mad at you about the vaseline/monitor, and you were wrong to wake him up (you can deal with one 2 year old solo-both parents don't need to give a kid a bath and clean that up).

[Anonymous]

It seems he was mad at the situation but took it out on you. That's not okay but it happens. If it's an ongoing pattern where he has to blame you when he's annoyed or bothered then deal with that, but if it's not typical I would let it go. Him excepting you to watch the monitor like a hawk is unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he was wrong to be mad at you about the vaseline/monitor, and you were wrong to wake him up (you can deal with one 2 year old solo-both parents don't need to give a kid a bath and clean that up).

I agree with this. I split duties pretty evenly with my husband, and if we'd had an agreement that one or the other gets to sleep, we'd honor that agreement barring serious injury or serious emergencies. I remember cleaning up messes solo, and I know my husband cleaned up messes when I was asleep. But he shouldn't have been mad about the vaseline/monitor either.

Honestly you both sound exhausted and tired.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Also he's unreasonable in expecting you to watch the monitor nonstop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand.

You knew that your husband was tired and was already in bed, and that tonight you were on duty. Why didn't you do your job?

In your shoes, I would have done everything myself without involving my husband. I would be so mad if I were tired and in bed and something like this happened on my husband's watch, AND he asked me to get up and help! I've gotten up for projectile vomiting multiple times, but vaseline? You messed up, you clean it up.

We never had a baby monitor, but if you have one, use it.

OP here, I do see your perspective here. But I think he would have been mad even if I cleaned it up myself and didn't bother him. It was more that the situation occurred.

OP again, also he was tired because he went out for beers with a friend last night - and I'm pretty sure he had a slight hangover today.

Both of you are right OP. Yes, your DH did overreact. What do you expect, he was tired and hungover.

But you are right too. If your kid messes us and rubs vaseline all over themselves (which is really funny), then it's both parents responsibility to help and clean up. Not your fault. Stuff happens.

But give it a day. Your DH will be better rested and in a better state of mind. You won't be as hurt by his comments. This too shall pass. Do something nice for him and I'm sure he will reciprocate.