Grandparents at Ped Visit

[Anonymous]

This is sort of a spin-off from the post about the grandparent wanting to attend a child's surgery, only referring to a more ordinary circumstance.... I am curious about how common it is for a grandparent to attend a newborn's first pediatrician visit (the one 1-2 days after discharge from the hospital)? One of my parents has requested to come along (as in, be in exam room and everything "just to watch")... thoughts? Experiences? I don't think it's a big deal either way but would like to hear other people's thoughts.

[Anonymous]

I think it is probably pretty common. Especially if you have a C-section and your husband can't go with you, then you need someone who can lift the carseat and carry it.

[Anonymous]

My mom came with me for DD #2 s first appointment at 4 days because my husband was at work ... no issues. She was a big help holding the diaper bag, getting the door, etc.

She did ask a few questions that I would never have asked but no big deal.

[Anonymous]

My MIL came with me to our DD's first appt., and my mom came to the appt. next week. They were in town to help and wanted to come. It was totally fine. My husband wasn't with us; if he had been, I don't think my MIL or mom would have come too. The doctor didn't act like it was strange at all.

[Anonymous]

My mom came with us for #1, but didn't go into the exam room (too many bodies in there). She mostly wanted to go so she knew where the office was and knew how to get there if she ever needed to take him for a visit. When #2 came along, I think she stayed home with #1!

FWIW, when I prepared for #1's well baby visits, I would often ask my mom if there were other things I should ask. Sometimes she covered stuff i already knew, but she would often think of things that i hadn't -- and helped me get some good information from the doctor.

[Anonymous]

yeah, my mom came with me to #1's first appt (#2 is still on the way). It was really helpful and I appreciated the company. I don't think it's uncommon or a big deal.

[Anonymous]

All you people are so lucky to have such helpful parents. I'm pregnant with DS#2 and recently asked my mother (who lives 20 minutes away from us) if she can come to help out for a few weeks when I deliver and she said "no, but I can swing food by some time if you want."

[Anonymous]

I think it is a little off for a grandparents to ask, ahead of the birth, if he/she can come to the first visit.

It's not that I think there's anything wrong with them going. It is just, why are they thinking about this, even? Ahead of time I mean?

Do you think it is because they are nervous, and want to be reassured about the abilities of the ped you have chosen? Or they just have fears about, will their grandchild be healthy?

Or do they just want to be a part of everything?

I invited my mom to come with me to the ultrasound check up because she happened to be in town, and because when she was pregnant they didn't have such technology. She seemed to think it was weird I invited her, but was really moved by the visit and was glad she had come. So I don't think there's anything wrong with granparents being involved in this stuff, I just wonder why they know ahead of time they'll want to.

[Anonymous]

sorry -- I meant, it is a little odd.

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends what the grandparents are like. My own parents were so wound up and freaked out after I had my son, that everything was an "issue". They thought that he was: not eating enough, pooping too much, crying too much, dehydrated (because I wasn't giving him water), too cold, too skinny... you name it. Since babies, especially breastfed, tend to lose a bit of weight during the first days after being born, that first visit would have caused my mother to freak the heck out over his weight loss. Having her along would have been disastrous.

She came with me to my son's 2 month visit and she still talks about how much he cried during his shots. I do not need additional stress in these situations and have learned not to include my mom in them.

[Anonymous]

My MIL came with me and she was a lot of help. I was so tired from the lack of sleep and the c-cestion that I really valued having another set of ears to listen to what the doctor was saying. She also carried the car seat (father was at work) which was great since I couldn't lift it. I actually asked her to come along for all of those reasons. The doctor made her feel a part of the exam and she commented on that later. I thought it was a great experience.

[Anonymous]

my dad ended up coming to our DD's second visit because my husband was back at work, I was still in really bad shape from the delivery, and I needed help carrying the baby, opening doors, etc. but he was only there because I asked him to - I can't imagine he actually wanted to be there, let alone would have asked about it ahead of the birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is probably pretty common. Especially if you have a C-section and your husband can't go with you, then you need someone who can lift the carseat and carry it.

That was my case exactly, my mom came with me to some of the initial visits, DH was at work.

[Anonymous]

A lot of grandparents seem to realize that "things aren't done the same way these days" but don't fully get it. A ped visit (I've seen it fairly often @ my ped) could be a nice way to draw them in to new practices especially feeding and sleep safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is probably pretty common. Especially if you have a C-section and your husband can't go with you, then you need someone who can lift the carseat and carry it.

I am a single mom and have been since my DS was born. I had a c-section and wasn't supposed to drive for a few weeks. My first trip (and my son's) out of the house was w/ my mother who drove us to the first ped appt when my son was about 2-3 weeks old. It didn't seem out of the ordinary and my ped seemed happy to have her there.