Grandparents at Ped Visit

[Anonymous]

I would think it a little strange for me, unless my DH wasn't available to help me for some reason.

[Anonymous]

I did not have either of my parents or MIL at the first pediatrician visits. My MIL is the same age as my grandmother and she is just generally a pain in my ass. My own mother would go if I asked her but would not come in the exam room. She came with me and my husband to an appointment recently where my daughter was being looked over to see if she had the beginnings of a heart problem. It was nice to have her there and nice for her to be able to comfort my hysterical daughter after serious blood draws while my husband and I finished with the doctor. My dad would also go if I asked and he is a doctor so he would be my first choice if something were really up health wise with my kid.

[Anonymous]

Never heard of this. Never even seen this.

[Anonymous]

My mother came to the one-month appt, and it just preempted the pediatrician's question, "Is anyone here helping you?" It wasn't weird at all to me or the doctor that she was there.

[Anonymous]

Should the GP's just go ahead and raise the kids for you?

[Anonymous]

That would be lovely!

[Anonymous]

You need to decide if the grandparent is doing it for you, or for their own pathological need to witness every event.

If it is about helping you, and you think the person would be helpful, then great.

If it is about insecurities and wanting to be part of the action, if you have control issues with this person, if you have things you want to discuss with the doctor IN PRIVATE... then No, do not bring the grandparent along.

Only you know the answer to that.

[Anonymous]

OP, my mom came with me. I had a C-section and couldn't drive or lift, so it pretty much was a given that she would be with me all the time for the first 2 weeks. It was very natural and she just sat there and took it all in.

In fact, my mom can sometimes be a bit passive, and I was still trying to be superwoman and do everything. The Ped told my mom "Don't let her do anything! You and her husband need to treat her like a queen! Don't let her lift a finger!" I actually really appreciated that, because it gave my mom and husband the kick in the butt to make me slow down and rest more than I was.

I think it all depends on your relationship with the grandparents. If it is a good one, then it is great to have them there either in the room or waiting with you. I had no issues with that at all and found it helpful.

BUT, if they have boundary issues and you think they are going to try to hijack the appointment, I would politely decline or have them wait outside. There are all kind of changes to your parental relationships that you can't even anticipate yet. Before your baby, you are still THEIR baby. They have to understand that they are letting go of control and that you are taking it with your own child. If they are there to help, then great, but if you are worried they are going to step out of bounds, it might be worth a discussion.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

People on this board are just nuts. I already knew that, but reading this thread, I was still astounded at the snarkiness and awful comments.

My God, nothing wrong with a grandparent offering to come along to help, esp if it's the mom's first time and husband has to work (as was my case). Let's all stop overthinking and over debating this one, ok?

[Anonymous]

I didn't think there was really that much "snark" involved; honestly this is a pretty mild thread compared to many! I think if mom needs help, then by all means, an extra set of arms and legs are great. If GP is just curious, then maybe--depending on mom / dad's comfort level. If GP is likely to be an interfering presence or if Mom / Dad just plain old don't want the extra company in the ped's office, then decline.

[Anonymous]

My mom came to one of the visits - I think either the one week or 2 week. DH had gone back to work so he could take paternity leave after she left, and I wasn't up for driving. As a new mom BFing, I was getting very little sleep (never been a great napper so that nap when the baby naps thing wasn't working out so well) and I honestly didn't feel comfortable driving my newborn on no sleep.

I'm not even sure if we saw the pediatrician, my dr. office has a lactation consultant and we had to do weigh ins with her at week 1 and week 2. So my mom came with me. Not a big deal.

I think if it is you, DH, and grandma or grandpa that would be odd, but you and one grandparent I wouldn't think is a big deal.

Also, my SIL took her mom the first visit too - my BIL had to go back to work and you are really not supposed to drive on day 3 after delivery.

[Anonymous]

So TWO ambilical cords needed to be cut, I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So TWO ambilical cords needed to be cut, I see.

This is just wacky. And spelled wrong.

[Anonymous]

I know, that's what I was thinking, GP's at ped visit? C'mon are these people serious? Umbilical cord, indeed!

[Anonymous]

So, now we know why the really mean posters are really mean... such a wacked out relationship with their own parents that someone's parent coming to help out at a first pediatrician visit is unimaginable, and warrants such vitriol.

My mother came with me not because my umbilical cord needs cutting but because she was in town (which was awesome), and there was room (DH at work), and help is nice (for normal people who realize that needing help isn't a weakness). Could I have done it on my own? Yep. Have every time since. Was I glad she was there? Yep. And the doctor acted like it happens every single day.