Need a therapist for me - crisis situation

[Anonymous]

My husband blames me for everything, including my child's autism, anxiety, etc. I know I am not perfect but blaming people is not acceptable to me (and he has a lot of issues himself, including a lot of anger).

Of course even though I work, I do the overwhelming of the heavy lifting with the child and house etc. I am not looking to be thanked, just not torn down and criticized all the time. My child is picking up on the criticism and repeating things. He favors his Dad now because I am the rule enforcer (husband has ADHD and maybe more so he is not good with the schedules etc. )

Any suggestions for a therapist that understands special needs dynamics etc. - in NW DC or Bethesda/Rockville area preferably. I am going broke with out of network care for my child so would of course prefer one that takes insurance if it is not a pipe dream.

I tried to search the archives but did not come up with hardly anything for adults.

[Anonymous]

If you can't find anyone and you feel in crisis, go to your GP. He can help with some temporary anti-anxiety meds if necessary and more importantly help you find a good therapist that takes your insurance.

You could also call your insurance company directly and ask for therapists in your area. BC/BS Federal has a mental health department that is really good at finding providers.

I am sorry you are hurting.

[Anonymous]

OP, does your employer have EAP? If so, get the number. They often have excellent resources, especially for crisis management

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. That is such a terrible feeling. Our child goes to JSSA, they accept insurance, have individual, couples, and family therapy. Our wait for the therapist was long, and I don't know how it is for adults, but I suspect they are more responsive if you call in crisis.

Also, I second the EAP as a holdover position while you find someone more long term.

[Anonymous]

April Gates in Northwest is good. A licensed social worker she can't prescribe medication but works with psychiatrists who can. Does take some insurance.

[Anonymous]

http://www.imagocenterdc.com/

I don't think they take insurance but they bill on a sliding scale.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I can relate to the dynamics created by the rule-enforcer and the rule-let-it-slide-don't-want-to-deal-with-it. I don't have a specific rec for you. Most psychiatrist and psychologists don't seem to be covered these days, so look under your health insurance for a social worker or other type of therapist that will be less expensive. At least you'll have an outlet.

In the long term view, I strongly suggest getting an ABA therapist who will work with you and your family in the home. I believe Ivymount Outreach does this kind of service. Basically, it will be an independent voice, giving you and DH the same instruction. It won't be just your opinion. Streamlining the home situation will be worth the expense and won't be pitting you and your husband against each other.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I'm so sorry, OP. Big hug to you.

I've been there, and still am, except that we are now in therapy, my husband and I, and he's calmed down somewhat.

He too has ADHD and has episodes or irrational anger and control-freakiness. My objective is that the therapist convinces him he has deep-seated problems and that he'll then be amenable to medicating himself.

This is what you need to do, OP. Bring your spouse to the point where he recognizes he needs treatment. it's going to be a long road, and in the meantime you need to look after yourself. Go to yoga, disengage, try to compartmentalize, persuade your spouse to go to therapy so that he can be told that certain forms of communication/blame/anger are NOT OK. Whatever you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Oops - forgot to post the rec!

Karin Focke in downtown Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a recommendation just wanted to send you virtual hugs..

I hope things get better very quickly.

I agree with the previous poster that also recommended the ABA therapist work with the whole family. We did this from the very beginning and it was very helpful to all be on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Amy Gates in Gaithersburg is perfect for this.

[Anonymous]

Try The Lourie Center - 301-984-4444
http://www.adventisthealthcare.com/LC/

[Anonymous]

Sorry, this isn't really the answer you were looking for but I don't think there is really anything wrong with you just your situation and I know I only got a snapshot of your marriage but it sounds awful and possibly irreconcilable.

I'd consider divorce, fight for some custody, collect child support and a move to the District.

The District has a very good waiver program for children up to age 21 that includes many things other state waivers don't such as orthodontia and respite care in addition to therapies and medical tartlet. Second there was no waiting list when I got my child on. You would want to verify this though.

This maneuver would get rid of your husband haranguing you, negatively turning your child against you, get all your copays paid and give you a chance for respite. Let me know if you want more info or people to contact.

[Anonymous]

*sole* not some custody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oops - forgot to post the rec!

Karin Focke in downtown Bethesda.

+1 I see Karin too and she's great!