Teacher hates me and my kid. How to handle?

[Anonymous]

I have no idea what I did wrong but also accept the fact that not all personalities get along. FWiw my kid is not a trouble maker. Can you please share you wisdom and experience?

[Anonymous]

Why do you think this?

[Anonymous]

What grade? What do you mean by hates your kid?

[Anonymous]

How do you know that s/he hates you? We need more info.

For the most part I'd take a more passive role this year. Example - providing items for a school party rather than attending it in person. Then I'd let my kid know that sometimes you learn the most from stern teachers. Let your child vent about his/her day without adding to the concerns.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully, you can stay in the background and advise your child to do the same. We had an issue with a terrible 3rd grade teacher and I had to get very involved and that had a backlash. I had no choice though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that s/he hates you? We need more info.

For the most part I'd take a more passive role this year. Example - providing items for a school party rather than attending it in person. Then I'd let my kid know that sometimes you learn the most from stern teachers. Let your child vent about his/her day without adding to the concerns.

I think I'd probably make it my business to be present. A lot. Stay in the background when I'm there, but just be there and be nice.

[Anonymous]

If it truly is a bad personality match, and the teacher is not able to rise above and treat your kid fairly, then go to the counselor and the administration to get your kid switched to a different class.

Bad teachers -- and vindictive teachers -- absolutely do exist. My fourth grade teacher hated me because of (false) assumptions she made about my mother breaking up her affair with a married man who was one of my father's friends. True story. She made my fourth grade year absolutely miserable.

A year is too long in a kid's life and in his education to suffer through a teacher who is unprofessional and will treat a child unfairly. You have the option to minimize your interactions with her; your son doesn't.

[Anonymous]

You'll have to give us some examples, OP.

I am convinced my son's 5th grade teacher disliked me, because I had the temerity to be *that* parent at the beginning of the year. He has special needs, and as any parent of special needs will tell you, sometimes you have to be more direct and explicit than you're comfortable with to make sure that promised services and accommodations are actually implemented.

As an experienced teacher, she did not let it affect her teaching except when it was time to recommend my son for the advanced math class in middle school, which she was not willing to do. We changed him mid-year in 6th grade, when his new teachers expressed surprise that he was not placed directly in the advanced math class.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher. If you share some examples we may be able to help further. The parents I am frustrated by are those who write me often about things that are clearly available in our online system (and ones I've even sent out messages about before). However, I always respond clearly and kindly so hope to maintain a supportive relationship.

[Anonymous]

I was a teacher and I'll have to say that it is easier to like some than others. But, "hate"?-I certainly never hated any of my students. Are you sure it is not you that hates the teacher? Just because a child was difficult did not make me dislike him--or his mom. Sometimes, I had more compassion for the parents of the difficult children than others. It's been a while (actually, a long time) since I taught and parents were not as intrusive as they appear to be now.

OP, how often do you communicate with the teacher? Why do you think the teacher does not like your child? Teachers are people, and they are all different--just as kids are. I know that my sixth grade teacher really disliked me--I never knew why, but my mom thought it was because of religion. I had a friend that she also picked on--when I told my mom, she said this teacher probably doesn't like her because her parents are divorced--in those days, few kids had divorced parents. No one liked this teacher, and, perhaps they all felt they were picked on--and, that may be the case with your child.

However, if you came here for advice, you need to give more information about the problem.

[Anonymous]

I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

[Anonymous]

I try to take the Michelle Obama approach- "When they go low, we go high." "Kill em with kindess" feels good because eventually if they are decent people they feel bad for being mean. However, I am a momma bear and if you cross a certain line, I will be a PITA-always professional, but not a pushover. Goo luck OP!!

[Anonymous]

I've posted about my DD's second grade teacher hating her. I told DD everyone gets a clunker and that was her year to get hers. I made sure she had other stuff going on in her life that was fun and enjoyable outside of school. And I told the principal I expected DD would get good teachers each of the following grades as a reward for having put up with that bitch. DD did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

This is truly INSANE!!!!! !! Wow!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

Which school, or it didn't happen. I would have escalated to the superintendent. Private? Does your child have special needs and the school was trying to get rid of you? That is truly awful and in a public school in this area the teacher would have been disciplined.