Teacher hates me and my kid. How to handle?

[Anonymous]

I was a high school teacher and over the years I can only remember two kids I disliked. However, if your kid is one of those kids, try to get your kid moved. I know I asked that those students be moved and our school was happy to oblige. There are genuine personality conflicts sometimes. I tried not to let it affect me and I know I wasn't mean, but I would lose patience much more easily with those two.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I read one of these topic headlines I first reverse it to 'I hate my kid's teacher' and then I look at the post.

People reflect how we make them feel about themselves. Since you are feeling this hate but the teacher apparently is not I think you should look in the mirror first.

Honestly, teachers have too much other stuff to focus on than to fixate on one kid and his or her parent. I've seen a lot of teachers in my life as the mom of 5 kids. I honestly cannot say that there is any one of them that has even remotely disliked me or any of our kids, including any or all of our foster kids most whom have come from some pretty messed up backgrounds and have a lot of baggage.

My suggestion is to back off a little. If it really bothers you then just go to the principal and ask for your child to be transferred. It would be much better for you and your child than harboring these bad feelings all year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I read one of these topic headlines I first reverse it to 'I hate my kid's teacher' and then I look at the post.

People reflect how we make them feel about themselves. Since you are feeling this hate but the teacher apparently is not I think you should look in the mirror first.

Honestly, teachers have too much other stuff to focus on than to fixate on one kid and his or her parent. I've seen a lot of teachers in my life as the mom of 5 kids. I honestly cannot say that there is any one of them that has even remotely disliked me or any of our kids, including any or all of our foster kids most whom have come from some pretty messed up backgrounds and have a lot of baggage.

My suggestion is to back off a little. If it really bothers you then just go to the principal and ask for your child to be transferred. It would be much better for you and your child than harboring these bad feelings all year.

+1. It's incredibly self absorbed to assume this teacher specifically has it out for you and your son and hates you. She knows probably nothing about you, there's no way she hates you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I read one of these topic headlines I first reverse it to 'I hate my kid's teacher' and then I look at the post.

People reflect how we make them feel about themselves. Since you are feeling this hate but the teacher apparently is not I think you should look in the mirror first.

Honestly, teachers have too much other stuff to focus on than to fixate on one kid and his or her parent. I've seen a lot of teachers in my life as the mom of 5 kids. I honestly cannot say that there is any one of them that has even remotely disliked me or any of our kids, including any or all of our foster kids most whom have come from some pretty messed up backgrounds and have a lot of baggage.

My suggestion is to back off a little. If it really bothers you then just go to the principal and ask for your child to be transferred. It would be much better for you and your child than harboring these bad feelings all year.

+1. It's incredibly self absorbed to assume this teacher specifically has it out for you and your son and hates you. She knows probably nothing about you, there's no way she hates you.

+2

And given that OP hasn't made it back in 3 days to provide any helpful information she's either a psycho with a doomed kid or a pathetic attempt for a troll.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Jim/Tim reminds me of something that happened with my kid, who a teacher refused to call by his name (which apparently led to a small scene in the classroom early in the school year).

My son's school handled this beautifully. They rearranged his schedule and called to ask my approval. At the time I didn't quite understand why but said yes (suspecting that they weren't kidding even if they weren't telling) and thus saved his year.

[Anonymous]

We gave our kids ethnic names and my daughter's biology teacher mispronounced her name for an entire year. We are Middle Eastern and I"m pretty sure this was because she was racist. We also discussed it with principal, etc. and it never helped. Eventually other kids started calling her this tortured mispronunciation that the teacher came up with as well, so it also felt like bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gave our kids ethnic names and my daughter's biology teacher mispronounced her name for an entire year. We are Middle Eastern and I"m pretty sure this was because she was racist. We also discussed it with principal, etc. and it never helped. Eventually other kids started calling her this tortured mispronunciation that the teacher came up with as well, so it also felt like bullying.

You may be correct, but even teachers can have trouble with pronunciation of some difficult words and names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gave our kids ethnic names and my daughter's biology teacher mispronounced her name for an entire year. We are Middle Eastern and I"m pretty sure this was because she was racist. We also discussed it with principal, etc. and it never helped. Eventually other kids started calling her this tortured mispronunciation that the teacher came up with as well, so it also felt like bullying.

1. It could be that the teacher simply had a difficult time pronouncing the child's name. You've stated it's a foreign name so why the surprise? Many foreign students, the Chinese for example, will adopt an American name to facilitate things instead of expecting American teachers to be able to pronounce their given names properly.

2. I wouldn't read too much into the name thing at all. (to all parents who had this issue) I once had a situation where I called a kid named...let's say Pim...by the name of Tim. It was done accidentally. I mean, I had nearly 150 kids for one. Secondly, the mother tried to make a huge deal of this but come on Pim is not a common name at all, TIM is! During a meeting she tried to make it into a big deal, claiming that her teenaged child was so hurt by it and absolutely distraught because his classmates would laugh and call him Tim. No one bought the nonsense. No matter how much of a deal she tried to make it into to, it came down to a teacher calling the child by the wrong name which everyone (except Mom) could agree was an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

And the principal kept your child in that class for a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We gave our kids ethnic names and my daughter's biology teacher mispronounced her name for an entire year. We are Middle Eastern and I"m pretty sure this was because she was racist. We also discussed it with principal, etc. and it never helped. Eventually other kids started calling her this tortured mispronunciation that the teacher came up with as well, so it also felt like bullying.

1. It could be that the teacher simply had a difficult time pronouncing the child's name. You've stated it's a foreign name so why the surprise? Many foreign students, the Chinese for example, will adopt an American name to facilitate things instead of expecting American teachers to be able to pronounce their given names properly.

2. I wouldn't read too much into the name thing at all. (to all parents who had this issue) I once had a situation where I called a kid named...let's say Pim...by the name of Tim. It was done accidentally. I mean, I had nearly 150 kids for one. Secondly, the mother tried to make a huge deal of this but come on Pim is not a common name at all, TIM is! During a meeting she tried to make it into a big deal, claiming that her teenaged child was so hurt by it and absolutely distraught because his classmates would laugh and call him Tim. No one bought the nonsense. No matter how much of a deal she tried to make it into to, it came down to a teacher calling the child by the wrong name which everyone (except Mom) could agree was an accident.

Most people, especially educated people, like teachers can understand the basics of pronunciation once explained. Considering that PP said it was a "torured mispronunciation" it does seem more deliberate. I have a very easy to pronounce name but it is foreign. It's essentially the same pronunciation at Toni, spelled the same way. Four letters, only a different first letter that Toni. I had a few teachers in the 1970s who would blanch at trying to pronounce it and called me all sorts of strange, longer more complicated names instead. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Most people, especially educated people, like teachers can understand the basics of pronunciation once explained. Considering that PP said it was a "torured mispronunciation" it does seem more deliberate. I have a very easy to pronounce name but it is foreign. It's essentially the same pronunciation at Toni, spelled the same way. Four letters, only a different first letter that Toni. I had a few teachers in the 1970s who would blanch at trying to pronounce it and called me all sorts of strange, longer more complicated names instead. It happens.

And, some people do not have an "ear" for this. I am not one of them, but I had a friend who could read anything in a foreign language, but when she tried to speak it, it was terrible. She just could not do it. Not so much now, but, in the past, the Japanese had a very difficult time with "r" sound. It happens with all languages. If it offends you, that is too bad. At our high school, they made a great effort to get the names right at graduation. Two teachers who had a good grasp worked very hard on this--but everyone does not have that gift.
As far as mixing up the kids names--I did that with my own kids on occasion.

There's too much to be concerned about than to make a big deal of this. It is likely not deliberate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

And the principal kept your child in that class for a year?

Yes. We went to private at the end of the year. The principal said, she get the highest test scores out of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had the same experience. I talked to the principal to no avail. So my son learned some people are mean.

An example of something the teacher did to show she just didn't care about him and she wanted him to know....

Called him Tim, his name is Jim. She did this all year, even after the principal talked to her.

I went to talk to her 3 times and she told me each time, she didn't think my son was in her class, then I said, yes, he is.. Can we meet, she told me to call the front office because she was not my sons teacher. The front office would schedule the meeting because she would not talk to me.

At a school event, my son wanted to talk to her and walked up to say, hi, She was handing out glow sticks, Iwas standing there, each child walked up, said hello, talked and then the next, and the next, my son walked up, she put her hand on his head, pushed him through and greeted the next child... Did not give him a glow stick... It was seen by a resource teacher and she confronted her, I did not. She reported her to the principal, I did not.

She told me a child like mine would never be chosen to speak in front of the class.

I could go on forever,

And the principal kept your child in that class for a year?

Yes. We went to private at the end of the year. The principal said, she get the highest test scores out of the kids.

I just want to say that I read your story of ever-mounting horror. I am sorry this happened to your child. I'm just flabbergasted.

[Anonymous]

My name is Sarah, and I have to say that many people mispronounced my name all through high school. Sarah! It's not a hard name, but I was frequently called Shara, Sandra, Soura, etc. So while some may hunk a name is easily pronounceable, it may not be for everyone!

[Anonymous]

Op what I learned is, if you have concrete examples of the teacher being mean, insist that your child be transferred to another class. Biggest mistake I made was allowing the school and the teacher to merely "apologize" and keep her in the class. No little kid should have to deal with a crazy, mean adult who singles them out for no reason. Have you ever had that coworker? Yeah.... it's hard enough when you are both adults. Totally wrong to do to a kid.

Move your child to another class.