I changed my parent's will

[Anonymous]

I'm an trusts and estate lawyer by trade, and my parents wanted me to update their will -- something they had drawn up when my siblings and I were little. I was appalled to find out that the boys (my brothers) will inherit the bulk of the estate, and the girls (my sisters and I) will get the sentimental items and a few thousand each. I successfully argued to my parents that this was sexist and unfair, and the will was updated t for equal portions to all the children. This results in a sizable reduction for the brothers.

Neither my parent or I have told the other siblings about the change. But according to my parents, no one knew about the inequitable distribution anyway. And I don't even know if the money will be there -- one never knows until the end. Is this something to mention to my siblings before my parents pass?

[Anonymous]

No. But I would pay somebody else to be the lawyer on the will.

[Anonymous]

DO. NOT. MENTION.

[Anonymous]

Can you ethically be the lawyer to draw up the will/trust and be a beneficiary at the same time? It seems like you have a huge conflict of interest here. It also sounds like that conflict creates an enormous reason to challenge the will. (Of course, that works in your favor, because if the will is thrown out, the children take equally.)

[Anonymous]

What was the rationale for the inequitable distribution? To keep the money with the name?

At any rate, absolutely don't offer this information. Will your siblings be able to tell it was altered by you in 11/2016?

[Anonymous]

Do not tell anyone, especially your brothers.

Through my own experience and others, a father dying often turns sons/brothers into bossy assholes who take it upon themselves to become some kind of family patriarch - even when they, or your/their father wasn't like that before. Death changes people. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ethically be the lawyer to draw up the will/trust and be a beneficiary at the same time? It seems like you have a huge conflict of interest here. It also sounds like that conflict creates an enormous reason to challenge the will. (Of course, that works in your favor, because if the will is thrown out, the children take equally.)

Does that conflict create an ethical issue that the bar disciplinary folks would feel the need to address? If yes, you need to send your parents to another lawyer and have it done again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ethically be the lawyer to draw up the will/trust and be a beneficiary at the same time? It seems like you have a huge conflict of interest here. It also sounds like that conflict creates an enormous reason to challenge the will. (Of course, that works in your favor, because if the will is thrown out, the children take equally.)

This. Good catch but I'd stay out of it from now on and say nothing. If they got wind they would rightfully contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ethically be the lawyer to draw up the will/trust and be a beneficiary at the same time? It seems like you have a huge conflict of interest here. It also sounds like that conflict creates an enormous reason to challenge the will. (Of course, that works in your favor, because if the will is thrown out, the children take equally.)

This. Good catch but I'd stay out of it from now on and say nothing. If they got wind they would rightfully contest.

you can't really be a trusts and estates lawyer if you thought it was OK to argue for yourself to get more, and also then do the will for them! WTF. you must be totally incompetent to provide legal advice if true.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the will my grandfather drew up: all the estate and money to my uncle, and practically nothing for my mother and her sisters, because they were girls, and the estate should go with the title, to a male heir.

Anyway, mum's the word. First, draw up the new will.
Second, suggest that since there is a conflict of interest, another lawyer should draw up a new, new will. Show him the one you updated as a template and have your parents say this is the one they want.

That way you protect your interests (which I fully support!) and you disarm possible future action.

[Anonymous]

While no doubt your parents were sexist in their distribution of the inheritance, I can't help but think that this is totally unethical of you. You basically influenced your parents to leave you what they did not intend to do. It does sound fair, but still not right of you to do so. You know it is wrong, hence the post. You should have pointed this out, and then sent them to somebody else to draw the will. If your brothers found out about this they will have a very legit reason to dismiss this will and you will live with this guilt for the rest of your life even if they don'. It will come to light, no doubt, elderly people tend to tell everything to everybody, and by now they might already have mentioned it to somebody, even to your brothers. It is totally underhanded move, no matter their bigotry.

[Anonymous]

Are you aware of ethics laws??

[Anonymous]

Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

[Anonymous]

Funny that a lawyer would be asking this board for advice.

[Anonymous]

I don't know the law and whether it is legal, but certainly what she did is unethical.