I changed my parent's will

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know the law and whether it is legal, but certainly what she did is unethical.

And shitty. Don't forget shitty.

[Anonymous]

Hello OP here - not asking about ethics or the law obviously because this is the family board. Asking if my parents telling us about our inheritance will be better for family dynamics rather than the previous secrecy and unfairness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

that is very different that what OP did (influenced her parents to leave more money to her, then drew up a new will for them). that is not at all the same as just being a beneficiary. I shudder that some of you appear to be practicing law with this sort of understanding of ethics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

that is very different that what OP did (influenced her parents to leave more money to her, then drew up a new will for them). that is not at all the same as just being a beneficiary. I shudder that some of you appear to be practicing law with this sort of understanding of ethics.

Why is it unethical for an equitable distribution? It should be more ethical to ask to not to treated inferior by virtue of sex. My parents are not senile. They had the previous will drafted in the 60s before their consciousness was raised that girls could be of equal worth as boys. Now they are aligned with modern times. They are senile or feeble, they are aware.

[Anonymous]

Do not tell your siblings. Presumably everyone assumes an equitable distribution. No one needs to know what it used to be.

My dad had a will done years ago, and the draft I saw had my sister's portion put in a trust for me to manage until she was 45. The lawyer took what dad said about her being flighty and went with it. I told dad to change it - a setup like that would have ruined my relationship with her. I've never told her and never will - she'd be very hurt that he ever even considered it. Same deal in your scenario - the knowledge would cause pain and rifts. Don't talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello OP here - not asking about ethics or the law obviously because this is the family board. Asking if my parents telling us about our inheritance will be better for family dynamics rather than the previous secrecy and unfairness.

I applaud you, OP. As do your sisters, I'm sure

[Anonymous]

Of course you don't mention this to your brothers unless you want them to sue you. Couldn't you also be disbarred for breach of fiduciary duty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

that is very different that what OP did (influenced her parents to leave more money to her, then drew up a new will for them). that is not at all the same as just being a beneficiary. I shudder that some of you appear to be practicing law with this sort of understanding of ethics.

Why is it unethical for an equitable distribution? It should be more ethical to ask to not to treated inferior by virtue of sex. My parents are not senile. They had the previous will drafted in the 60s before their consciousness was raised that girls could be of equal worth as boys. Now they are aligned with modern times. They are senile or feeble, they are aware.

Please tell me you made up the part about being a lawyer.

It is wrong because you are benefitting substantially in a way you were not before, and you used your attorney status to assist you in implementing a system that benefits you. It is a classic conflict. You advocated for your personal interest and therefore that is a conflict with the interests of other affected parties.

Have another lawyer come in and advise your parents, look it over, talk to your parents and make sure this reflects their actual wishes. Have that attorney hell them execute a will. Don't be present or involved. be decent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not tell your siblings. Presumably everyone assumes an equitable distribution. No one needs to know what it used to be.

My dad had a will done years ago, and the draft I saw had my sister's portion put in a trust for me to manage until she was 45. The lawyer took what dad said about her being flighty and went with it. I told dad to change it - a setup like that would have ruined my relationship with her. I've never told her and never will - she'd be very hurt that he ever even considered it. Same deal in your scenario - the knowledge would cause pain and rifts. Don't talk about it.

Your situation was different because you were not acting as an attorney in the matter. What you did was fine and good for family relations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

that is very different that what OP did (influenced her parents to leave more money to her, then drew up a new will for them). that is not at all the same as just being a beneficiary. I shudder that some of you appear to be practicing law with this sort of understanding of ethics.

Why is it unethical for an equitable distribution? It should be more ethical to ask to not to treated inferior by virtue of sex. My parents are not senile. They had the previous will drafted in the 60s before their consciousness was raised that girls could be of equal worth as boys. Now they are aligned with modern times. They are senile or feeble, they are aware.

There's nothing wrong with a daughter asking for an ethical distribution. It is unethical for a lawyer to advocate for more money to be given to her in a will that she drafts. You have a conflict. You should have advocated for yourself and your sisters and then sent your parents to have another lawyer draft the will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello OP here - not asking about ethics or the law obviously because this is the family board. Asking if my parents telling us about our inheritance will be better for family dynamics rather than the previous secrecy and unfairness.

Most of us aren't going to get past the obviously unethical behavior. Of course you shouldn't tell your family. You could lose your license over something like this.

Get another lawyer to fix it and shut your trap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyers can typically draft wills for family members and be beneficiaries in most jurisdictions. I don't understand why people think OP tricked her parents or her brothers.

that is very different that what OP did (influenced her parents to leave more money to her, then drew up a new will for them). that is not at all the same as just being a beneficiary. I shudder that some of you appear to be practicing law with this sort of understanding of ethics.

Why is it unethical for an equitable distribution? It should be more ethical to ask to not to treated inferior by virtue of sex. My parents are not senile. They had the previous will drafted in the 60s before their consciousness was raised that girls could be of equal worth as boys. Now they are aligned with modern times. They are senile or feeble, they are aware.

So they told you that now they want to change it to leave it equally? That is not what you said, you clearly said you told them what to do. You are posting because of your guilt.

[Anonymous]

You're asking this question because you feel guilty about what you did (because what you did was a conflict of interest). If you can't live with it (i.e., keep this confidential) just have a family sit down with your parents and siblings and talk about it.

Also, if you're really a lawyer, you're one of the reasons why people don't like lawyers.

[Anonymous]

I know right now that I got a small condo from my parents, and that they intend to leave a huge, huge house in Europe to my sister who has no kids, but lives with them. In addition to another house they built her and is already in her name. All this with the idea what she will leave it to my kids who are the only direct heirs of theirs. all this knowing that is something happens to my sister, her husband will inherit it and it might end up property of his brother's kids, who are nothing at all to our family. All this, and I say nothing. Because it is their decision, no matter what I think of it. All this with my family and 3 other families being the founders of this little town centuries ago and this whole area being "our birth right." But, laws have changed and too bad for my kids.

[Anonymous]

LOL at your parents asking you to look over a will that screwed you.