Parental consideration for privacy - too little vs. too much

[Anonymous]

There are posters in these forums that say "my house, my rules" and there are others who seem to consider their children's rooms off limits after a certain age. Normally I would never walk into a closed bedroom before knocking, but what about for something practical you need immediately when your kid is asleep and you don't want to wake him/her up?

Say your teen son was using a screwdriver to fix something in his room a few days ago. It's 7am on a weekend and now you need it and realize it's still in there and that he won't be up for another 3 hours. Do you quietly enter the room and look for it so you don't wake him, or do you disturb him by knocking until he's awake?

I know what I have done and would do, but I'm curious as to others responses. This is a dad, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Easy. Teen of your own sex, go in. Teen of the opposite sex, have your spouse go in. Any kid younger than a teen, doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

I would knock. The consequence of their not returning the screwdriver to the right place is being awakened early when someone else needs it.

[Anonymous]

What if he happens to be sleeping without clothes? A knock my annoy him, but it would allow him to make sure he's covered when you come in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would knock. The consequence of their not returning the screwdriver to the right place is being awakened early when someone else needs it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Do you really need the screwdriver right away or could it wait until later? If it can't wait, I'd have he same sex parent sneak in and see if the screwdriver was in site and grab it. If it involved moving things around, I'd knock and wake up the teen for a moment to say I'm getting the screwdriver and he/she can go back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

^^That should say "may" annoy him.

[Anonymous]

Gently knock. If he's awake and doing anything you shouldn't see, that will be enough for him to hear. If you don't get a response, quietly go in and get what you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really need the screwdriver right away or could it wait until later? If it can't wait, I'd have he same sex parent sneak in and see if the screwdriver was in site and grab it. If it involved moving things around, I'd knock and wake up the teen for a moment to say I'm getting the screwdriver and he/she can go back to sleep.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gently knock. If he's awake and doing anything you shouldn't see, that will be enough for him to hear. If you don't get a response, quietly go in and get what you need.

My approach. I'd even quietly say that I'm looking for the screwdriver.

[Anonymous]

These "same sex parent" posts are hysterical.

-Single mom

[Anonymous]

It depends on how open your family is. I'm assuming the primary issue would be the risk of seeing a flash of nudity. You have the same parts, so big deal. Personally I would let the kid sleep and just go in and get what you need while trying to avert your eyes away from the bed.

[Anonymous]

I'd go in and look for it. If you're so inconsiderate as to not put a household item back where it goes then I feel justified in going into their rooms to look for it and even waking them up to ask where it is.

[Anonymous]

Just go in. People have become way too uptight.

[Anonymous]

Are people really needing screwdrivers at 7 am on a weekend? Sleep in people. That's the nice thing about having teenagers.