The Dad Privilege Checklist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, all of this is made easier if mom stays home with the children and dad makes more money to compensate. I know it’s an unpopular sentiment, but most women would feel much less resentment if they dropped work to focus their efforts (when the children are young) on raising them and let their DH work harder to cover the bills.

So you think the only function women should have once they become mothers is to solely focus on being a mom? Why is that fair? Women have talents, skills and brains that society can benefit from! Why can Dads be dads and also productive members of society!

You do know the story of Japan? Women are choosing not to become mothers because of the unequal treatment of women! I am not encouraging my dds to become mothers! If the population dies out so be it.

I’m saying that mothers would be much happier if the focused solely on being moms when their children are young. They very well may have talents/brain/skills society can benefit from, but the discussion about happiness and purpose are two separate ones. The vast majority of career women have jobs, not careers, and it is ironic that women supporting feminism parrot the incredulous lie that working 45 hours per week as Regional Sales Manager to Management is worth more to women than being home with their child. It is certainly worth more to your company that you spend those hours click-clacking on your laptop, but it won’t make you happier. I think the female resentment is symptomatic that some women are waking up like “what the hell am I doing, getting sucked dry for $35/hr?” but the market absolutely cannot allow her to consider quitting so - quick! - blame her DH and they can fight about who cleans gutters so that no one stops and says “wait, who is actually getting all our time?”

Why should moms be the ones who stay at home when the children are young? What makes you think they find dealing with infants anymore fulfilling than dads do?

NP I agree with that, it shouldn't necessarily be moms, but one of the child's parents ought to do it. I think you'll find that many infants do not find dealing with the daycare environment and daycare workers as fulfilling as being home with a loving parent.

If you're not going to pay my share of the bills than don't tell my husband or I should quit our jobs to be stay at home parents. In this area it's pretty challenging to live off one income and pay a mortgage or rent much less giving up niceties.

I'm not telling you what to do, I'm expressing my opinion that infants do best when cared for by a parent as opposed to daycare. I do agree that some planning and financial sacrifice is necessary to make this happen. I also realize not everyone can pull that off and that many don't even want to. I don't expect others to agree with me, clearly many people don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The article would be better if there were a list of things that women don’t have to worry about.

Cleaning the gutters? I mean, as long as she can call someone else to do it.

Otherwise, go ahead and list them.

Never worry about the grass getting cut

Never has to discuss whether the tires need to be rotated

Never gives actors sound in the car a 2nd thought

Doesn’t know the vets name or even where they are

Never worry about lightbulbs

Never need to replace a light switch or ceiling fan

Don’t worry about the kids learning an instrument since he teaches them that

Don’t need to talk sorta (though I can but not to the level they care to)

Never edited a paper

Mousetraps

Never even need to understand how to trim a tree

Have no clue what indigenous plants are

Never split wood

Never started a fire

Don’t clean cars

Never grilled anything ever

No clue what days the trash goes to the curb

No idea how to get large trash pickups

Never made coffee


I could obviously learn or do all these but I don’t need to

In what universe do only men edit papers? How bizarre.

And I am a woman and I do most of these things. The point is that incompetence is never attractive. Imagine not knowing how to do a large trash pickup, when trash day is, etc.

DP. I've never met a man who cared if his wife could handle a large trash pickup or clean out a mousetrap. I've known plenty of women who could, probably most, but I've never sat around with my dad friends wondering why our wives aren't the ones cleaning up dead animals around the house.

I am a wife and exclusively handle garbage pick up, including bulk pickup. I also manage the yard and do most of the small repairs around the house, and book someone if it's beyond my ability. I make sure the filters around the house get changed regularly, and I handle oil changes and gasing up the car, plus I'm the only one who ever vacuums out the car or wipes down the interior.

But go ahead and ask my husband about the last time he booked a hotel for a vacation, volunteered at the kid's school, spoke to our child's doctor, cut our child's fingernails, arranged camp or any childcare, etc.? The answer is either "years" or "never."

The reason women sit around talking about how men never do a lot of this stuff is because men truly never do it. You guys can't sit around talking about how women aren't doing these supposedly "manly" tasks because most of you aren't doing them! My DH has never, ever cleaned up a dead animal around the house! We recently had a vent cover fall off the exterior of the house and bird set up a nest in there and I handled the whole damn thing -- getting the nest out, attaching a new cover, etc. DH said he'd do it but then said he didn't know where to start and could I help, and in the end he just stood around while I did it.

The bean counting over petty tasks that are really women's work to begin with is absurd.

PP: The fact that you think there is such a thing as "women's work" tells me all I need to know about you.

Question here: went to a grandparents funeral recently. The drop the rope mom apparently assumed her husband would make sure the kids (late middle school) were dressed appropriately and no one did. It was his dad who passed. Kids were wearing crop tops, a halter, jeans. I am curious to hear from the “nothing wrong with paper plates” crowd. Is this just a big nothing and we all need to get over ourselves? Feels really disrespectful to me.

Pp are you sure they 'dropped the rope?' Or let their kids decide what to wear. Again why do you assume it is the mom's responsibility? Maybe grandpa was informal and did not care what they wore but that they showed up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The list posted by OP is utter codswallop.

Are you visiting from the 19th century? Are you a time traveler?

[Anonymous]

Wow this made me tear up. I always feel like I’m alone and this made me feel like I am not. Sometimes I do not like the role of being a mother who also works full time doing things “men are supposed to do.” When do we get a break? Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, all of this is made easier if mom stays home with the children and dad makes more money to compensate. I know it’s an unpopular sentiment, but most women would feel much less resentment if they dropped work to focus their efforts (when the children are young) on raising them and let their DH work harder to cover the bills.

So you think the only function women should have once they become mothers is to solely focus on being a mom? Why is that fair? Women have talents, skills and brains that society can benefit from! Why can Dads be dads and also productive members of society!

You do know the story of Japan? Women are choosing not to become mothers because of the unequal treatment of women! I am not encouraging my dds to become mothers! If the population dies out so be it.

I’m saying that mothers would be much happier if the focused solely on being moms when their children are young. They very well may have talents/brain/skills society can benefit from, but the discussion about happiness and purpose are two separate ones. The vast majority of career women have jobs, not careers, and it is ironic that women supporting feminism parrot the incredulous lie that working 45 hours per week as Regional Sales Manager to Management is worth more to women than being home with their child. It is certainly worth more to your company that you spend those hours click-clacking on your laptop, but it won’t make you happier. I think the female resentment is symptomatic that some women are waking up like “what the hell am I doing, getting sucked dry for $35/hr?” but the market absolutely cannot allow her to consider quitting so - quick! - blame her DH and they can fight about who cleans gutters so that no one stops and says “wait, who is actually getting all our time?”

Why should moms be the ones who stay at home when the children are young? What makes you think they find dealing with infants anymore fulfilling than dads do?

NP I agree with that, it shouldn't necessarily be moms, but one of the child's parents ought to do it. I think you'll find that many infants do not find dealing with the daycare environment and daycare workers as fulfilling as being home with a loving parent.

If you're not going to pay my share of the bills than don't tell my husband or I should quit our jobs to be stay at home parents. In this area it's pretty challenging to live off one income and pay a mortgage or rent much less giving up niceties.

I'm not telling you what to do, I'm expressing my opinion that infants do best when cared for by a parent as opposed to daycare. I do agree that some planning and financial sacrifice is necessary to make this happen. I also realize not everyone can pull that off and that many don't even want to. I don't expect others to agree with me, clearly many people don't.

That's why we had my father-in-law take care of one of our children and we did a nanny shear for the other one. There are A myriad of options that didn't result in us going into debt