You just dropped your kid off at college - what did you forget?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Body wash, swim jammers, pool noodle for that annoying gap between the bed & wall

Pool noodle brilliance!! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This topic and discussion reminds me how each of our parenting styles is the product of our accumulated life experiences. It just happens to be there are a lot of parents who seem to have learned sending their child things and taking their responsibilities on for them somehow signals love. Seems more to signal lack of respect and willingness to let a child be truly independent.

Really? Because it seems like the plenty of the posters were sent off and left to their own independence and obviously made it through but thought it kinda sucked..and it did. Plenty of kids in my dorm many years ago got some items sent from their parents, unlike me, and they turned out just fine.

I have taught my kid to function and that includes saying.."I forgot handers and a surge protector. Do you mind picking them up for me when you go out to the store? Otherwise I will order them or go the store myself.". I am a perfectly good parent if I help out in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This topic and discussion reminds me how each of our parenting styles is the product of our accumulated life experiences. It just happens to be there are a lot of parents who seem to have learned sending their child things and taking their responsibilities on for them somehow signals love. Seems more to signal lack of respect and willingness to let a child be truly independent.

You must be that glass half empty person.

My parents to this date still show love in ways they know how. I prefer to appreciate that love than criticizing it as their lack of respect. How messed up is your childhood that lead you to this point of distain? or how spoiled were you to be asking for love exactly the way you want it. Grow up.

These parents are all well meaning and love their kids. If their kids are receptive and respectful, what is your problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

You mean your kids don’t talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so rich - full of reflections that can certainly seem compassionate but when it comes down to it are just overindulgent. What ever happened to let them figure it out? I’m on my DC’s school’s freshman parent Facebook group and the threads there are similar to this one - parents who think they are showing love by indulging their children and then empathizing with each other under theme of what works and doesn’t work in the dorm room or what their kids forgot to pack.

Trust me, if your kids read these threads they would know exactly what they are - excuses to think about our children because we miss them. How about we embrace this for what it is and stop obsessing about all you can do for your kids. It’s just enabling so you do not feel your own emotions.

Let’s all own our discomfort of our child leaving the nest while simultaneously celebrating their independence. They are fully capable of figuring out how to replace the hangars they accidentally left at home…

They do figure it out but our kids actually live is and talk to us.

Hey how’s it going?
I forgot my rain jacket
Oh yea bummer
Yea you always say you forget 1 thing so that’s it
Great have a good day

How is that indulgent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

You mean your kids don’t talk to you.

I’m somewhere in between. I just sent my DS a care package through a local friend whose DS attends same college.

DS needed his forgotten spare eyeglasses, a few pairs of workout-basketball shorts and a pair of long pants. I tucked in some of his favorite snacks and a little note.

DS pretty much packed all himself but I happily took him out on a few shopping trips to get some dorm essentials. I ended up buying g all of the packing supplies (just Ilea bags and hand labeled stickers as required by the college for move in day).

[Anonymous]

Not forgot so much as never thought of, but my kid realized that a pair of rubber gloves would be helpful. Students in a suite have to clean their own bathrooms and DC is supposed to avoid direct exposure to chemicals because of eczema.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone explain the pool noodle.

I think someone said they needed it to stuff into the space between the bed and the wall.

NP here and I still don’t get it. Why is there a space between the bed and the wall? And if there is, why is it a problem?

The bed bangs on the wall during sex.

No, it doesn’t. There’s a space between the mattress and the wall. You can’t push it flush because of the bed frame. The pool noodle sits on top of the frame between the mattress and the wall.

Been awhile since you had sex, Mama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so rich - full of reflections that can certainly seem compassionate but when it comes down to it are just overindulgent. What ever happened to let them figure it out? I’m on my DC’s school’s freshman parent Facebook group and the threads there are similar to this one - parents who think they are showing love by indulging their children and then empathizing with each other under theme of what works and doesn’t work in the dorm room or what their kids forgot to pack.

Trust me, if your kids read these threads they would know exactly what they are - excuses to think about our children because we miss them. How about we embrace this for what it is and stop obsessing about all you can do for your kids. It’s just enabling so you do not feel your own emotions.

Let’s all own our discomfort of our child leaving the nest while simultaneously celebrating their independence. They are fully capable of figuring out how to replace the hangars they accidentally left at home…

They do figure it out but our kids actually live is and talk to us.

Hey how’s it going?
I forgot my rain jacket
Oh yea bummer
Yea you always say you forget 1 thing so that’s it
Great have a good day

How is that indulgent?

Noting wrong with the examples you offer. But honestly, do you really feel compelled to participate in a thread saying how you. Thought your kid a raincoat? I get it, we miss our kids. Just say that and let it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone explain the pool noodle.

I think someone said they needed it to stuff into the space between the bed and the wall.

NP here and I still don’t get it. Why is there a space between the bed and the wall? And if there is, why is it a problem?

The bed bangs on the wall during sex.

No, it doesn’t. There’s a space between the mattress and the wall. You can’t push it flush because of the bed frame. The pool noodle sits on top of the frame between the mattress and the wall.

Been awhile since you had sex, Mama?

The frame bangs on the wall, prude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

You mean your kids don’t talk to you.

Of course they talk to me. But when we speak it isn’t a litany of what they left and need us to send. Instead it’s about who they are meeting, what orientation sessions excite them and how they are learning about their new hometown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

You mean your kids don’t talk to you.

More irrational insults. WTF is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

i love how these people have to pop up on every thread to post something like this, or "land the helicopter"! You are just trying to make yourself feel better because you have a crappy relationship with your kid. The rest of us do not feel the least bit guilty that we do not.

It was an obnoxious troll post.

Good parents support their children. If the child forgot something (they're still children at 18, let's not forget), send it to them. Some of those requests are about love and support, not the actual thing that they could easily purchase at the campus book store or at a nearby Target, etc. They need to know that you've still got their back, that they aren't alone. That allows them to feel safe as they grow independent.

My 22 year old still asks me to get stuff for her, even though she's living in an apartment, has a job and car. She's completely competent and independent, yet reaches out from time to time to ask me for advice or to get her something. I'm happy she does. It's about love, connection and needing to know that I'll be there for her when she needs me.

Sounds like you are working through some personal issues via your kids.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately I will never know as DC was responsible for packing and DC will be responsible for figuring out how to get anything they forgot!

i love how these people have to pop up on every thread to post something like this, or "land the helicopter"! You are just trying to make yourself feel better because you have a crappy relationship with your kid. The rest of us do not feel the least bit guilty that we do not.

It was an obnoxious troll post.

Good parents support their children. If the child forgot something (they're still children at 18, let's not forget), send it to them. Some of those requests are about love and support, not the actual thing that they could easily purchase at the campus book store or at a nearby Target, etc. They need to know that you've still got their back, that they aren't alone. That allows them to feel safe as they grow independent.

My 22 year old still asks me to get stuff for her, even though she's living in an apartment, has a job and car. She's completely competent and independent, yet reaches out from time to time to ask me for advice or to get her something. I'm happy she does. It's about love, connection and needing to know that I'll be there for her when she needs me.

Sounds like you are working through some personal issues via your kids.

Good luck with that.

PP, go rain on someone else’s parade. Prior PP, sounds like you have a great relationship with your kids. Kudos to you for being a warm person and a loving mom.

[Anonymous]

This is a very helpful thread for those of us who will be dropping off our kids in the next few weeks. Thank you!