H’s DD diagnosed. I’m kinda freaking out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raise your child in an environment that is encouraging of honesty about feelings, don’t brush off warning signs, have a family culture of medical compliance (I.e let your child see you take your vitamins at the same time Every Day). In other words what you would probably do to support your child’s mental health anyway.

+1. I would specifically suggest that you take a look at the work being done to intervene when people have first psychotic breaks. There is preparatory stuff you can do that will substantially increase the odds of successful treatment (even with today’s flawed tools) and at the very least mental health education won’t do harm.

Unfortunately many mental health disorders come along with non-compliance to medication. It isn't about will, it's about the mental disorder itself. Using the perspective of a mentally healthy person to project onto an unwell one that is medicated still isn't the same thing.

PP here. I am somewhat LOL that you think I have to be told this. All I can tell you is that there are interventions of this sort that are showing results, and it’s worth looking into them before a first episode.

OP, tbh, in your shoes, I probably would much more seriously consider an abortion. But failing that I would get very curious about mad pride and other patient-led support/advocacy organizations for people with mental health diagnoses. Not like it needs to be your second job, but you should know what is out there and not have to dive in facefirst in 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it's more concerning that he didn't tell you about his sister till now. And that you don't feel comfortable discussing a medical issue with a doctor while he is present. Couples counseling might be good before baby comes. Parenting together is a whole other ballgame.

I really, REALLY agree with this. The sister is a significant thing. It's really weird he didn't bring this up. Even if only to say... "I don't have much of a relationship with my sister, due to the difficulties surrounding her mental health."

+1

+10 My DH has half-siblings he's literally never met but he mentioned them and their dumpster fire family.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. The marijuana correlation is interesting.

The thing is, H smokes weed daily for “mental health” (I don’t really buy it, but I’ve let it go). I’ve now VERY concerned that 1. Exposing myself and the child once born to second/third hand smoke could be a problem and 2. If kid sees dad using daily, could be seen as condoning it and kid could also steal from dads stash when older.

I haven’t spoken with H about this but I think it would be best if he quit. However, I am 99% sure he will disagree and continue to use tor “medical reasons”. Is it totally unreasonable for me to ask him to quit? It just seems like a huge risk for no good reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, ugh, can't remember where I read this (Scientific American, maybe? Discover?) about two years ago. Here is the takeaway:

It was that once a person has a schitzophrenic break, it's "easier" to have that second break, and then even easier to have the third, etc. Basically, once the pathway is burned in the brain, it becomes easier for the brain to access that pathway. The more times any brain pathway is used, the easier it is to continue using it. Like the first time the path is not there, and has to be hacked into place; it's hard to do. Now it's a trail, it's there but still hard to navigate. Then the more used, the more the trail becomes a road. Continue using it and it's a wider road, then soon it's a highway.

So, IF you can keep someone from having that first schitzophrenic break, then you are really holding off the whole illness. If you can get through that critical period (what, teenage to early 20s) then there is less chance of developing the disease.

The way to get through it is the person has to control their environment so it's less stressful (and no pot etc), and be aware of the warning signs and know how to get help right away, before they have the psychotic break.

So basically, there is a measure of control the individual and their guardians can exert on the situation, which should make you feel a little better about the situation, OP.

Okay I hope that makes sense.

The same is true of bipolar disorder. Even if that "episode" eventually does happen, the older the person is, the better the prognosis.

[Anonymous]

My mom is schizophrenic so I happen to have done the research. There is about a 10% chance that the child of a schizophrenic will suffer from the disease. You are talking about H’s daughter having the disease, not H. So the genetic aspect goes way down. The mom could have carried the genetic proclivity, not H. And H’s DD is not passing anything to your child. People talking about termination are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is schizophrenic so I happen to have done the research. There is about a 10% chance that the child of a schizophrenic will suffer from the disease. You are talking about H’s daughter having the disease, not H. So the genetic aspect goes way down. The mom could have carried the genetic proclivity, not H. And H’s DD is not passing anything to your child. People talking about termination are crazy.

Wait, isn’t both DH’s sister and his child? I agree that the risk is still low but it is incredibly odd that huge never discussed this with Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bestie had a schizophrenic mother but neither she nor her sister got it. The mom was a real nut job, though. My friend and her sister were removed from their home a couple of times for neglect and abuse. My friend decided on no kids, and her sister decided to have just one.

OP are you too far along to consider termination?

Please do not refer to people with legitimate mental health issues as “nut jobs”. It contributes to the stigma and is just cruel.

Uh oh, it's 1984 again; other people telling you what words you can use. Must be a liberal.

My friend's mom was an effing nut job. Almost killed her 2 children, more than once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The marijuana correlation is interesting.

The thing is, H smokes weed daily for “mental health” (I don’t really buy it, but I’ve let it go). I’ve now VERY concerned that 1. Exposing myself and the child once born to second/third hand smoke could be a problem and 2. If kid sees dad using daily, could be seen as condoning it and kid could also steal from dads stash when older.

I haven’t spoken with H about this but I think it would be best if he quit. However, I am 99% sure he will disagree and continue to use tor “medical reasons”. Is it totally unreasonable for me to ask him to quit? It just seems like a huge risk for no good reason.

OP, I think you have bigger issues with your husband than increased risk for schizophrenia for your unborn child. The poor communication, regular cannabis use (especially that he considers it self-medicating for—what, exactly?), are not good signs. Please address those first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, ugh, can't remember where I read this (Scientific American, maybe? Discover?) about two years ago. Here is the takeaway:

It was that once a person has a schitzophrenic break, it's "easier" to have that second break, and then even easier to have the third, etc. Basically, once the pathway is burned in the brain, it becomes easier for the brain to access that pathway. The more times any brain pathway is used, the easier it is to continue using it. Like the first time the path is not there, and has to be hacked into place; it's hard to do. Now it's a trail, it's there but still hard to navigate. Then the more used, the more the trail becomes a road. Continue using it and it's a wider road, then soon it's a highway.

So, IF you can keep someone from having that first schitzophrenic break, then you are really holding off the whole illness. If you can get through that critical period (what, teenage to early 20s) then there is less chance of developing the disease.

The way to get through it is the person has to control their environment so it's less stressful (and no pot etc), and be aware of the warning signs and know how to get help right away, before they have the psychotic break.

So basically, there is a measure of control the individual and their guardians can exert on the situation, which should make you feel a little better about the situation, OP.

Okay I hope that makes sense.

They can have "auras" with weird, intrusive thoughts too before their first break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. The marijuana correlation is interesting.

The thing is, H smokes weed daily for “mental health” (I don’t really buy it, but I’ve let it go). I’ve now VERY concerned that 1. Exposing myself and the child once born to second/third hand smoke could be a problem and 2. If kid sees dad using daily, could be seen as condoning it and kid could also steal from dads stash when older.

I haven’t spoken with H about this but I think it would be best if he quit. However, I am 99% sure he will disagree and continue to use tor “medical reasons”. Is it totally unreasonable for me to ask him to quit? It just seems like a huge risk for no good reason.

It's not unreasonable to ask someone to stop tobacco, let alone marijuana + schizophrenia proclivities.

I'm sorry to say you have a really big problem OP.

I know culture is normalizing marijuana; that doesn't mean it isn't psycoactive and dangerous.