POC women, do you feel celebrated for your beauty?

[Anonymous]

This whole question seems unusual, regardless of race. I hope everyone can feel positive about themselves and not need others gor external validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.
I'm Indian/American and have been complimented but it's usually something kinda backhanded like, "exotic" or "you're pretty for an Indian".

I look ethnically ambiguous at times and there is always a look of surprise when they ask me where I originate from and it's not a good look of surprise. This comes from all different races, not just white.

+1

I'm Indian-American too and I have short hair, preppy style, I am slender and tallish 5'5". I have been asked if I am married to a White man? I am not joking. Like I was a hopeless case who was thankfully transformed by a White guy and then he married me. I have also been told that I don't look "Indian". (Though I could be Kamala Harris's family member). In India, my looks are not altogether uncommon in Mumbai or Delhi and no one comments on my pixie hairstyle either...but hey, I guess I have arrived in America...

My teenager is even more ethnically ambiguous in USA (Persian? Cuban?). She is more like Nikky Haley - all that Punjabi blood intermingling with mine. In India she is seen as a teenager. No one is confused there because her looks are common there too.

To some extent, I get it. Indian-Americans are not a very looks-aware lot in the US because most of them are in the STEM field and looking good is not all that important compared to academics.

But, I am surprised that I am not confused with the super stylish, gorgeous and well put together Pakistani-Americans either. I mean every single Pakistani-American woman I meet here is just so drop dead stunning. Maybe I am not stunning like a Pakistani-American but look good enough to attract a White husband. I dunno!

Did I just read that tight-“look good enough to attract a white husband”? So the standard of beauty is the ability to attract a white husband? That says a lot about your perceptions of white superiority and brown/black inferiority. That is really sad.
Btw I’m black with a white husband but have never seen things that way. I’m stunned!

You misunderstand. This is the perception of White people about me, who I have met here. They think that I am married to a White person who must have been my saviour and "improved" me and got me a makeover or something.

My sense of self is pretty strong. While growing up, I was not discriminated racially in India, so internalizing any kind of White superiority is not a part of my DNA or life experience. Happily married to a fellow Indian. I could not imagine being married to anyone other than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.
I'm Indian/American and have been complimented but it's usually something kinda backhanded like, "exotic" or "you're pretty for an Indian".

I look ethnically ambiguous at times and there is always a look of surprise when they ask me where I originate from and it's not a good look of surprise. This comes from all different races, not just white.

+1

I'm Indian-American too and I have short hair, preppy style, I am slender and tallish 5'5". I have been asked if I am married to a White man? I am not joking. Like I was a hopeless case who was thankfully transformed by a White guy and then he married me. I have also been told that I don't look "Indian". (Though I could be Kamala Harris's family member). In India, my looks are not altogether uncommon in Mumbai or Delhi and no one comments on my pixie hairstyle either...but hey, I guess I have arrived in America...

My teenager is even more ethnically ambiguous in USA (Persian? Cuban?). She is more like Nikky Haley - all that Punjabi blood intermingling with mine. In India she is seen as a teenager. No one is confused there because her looks are common there too.

To some extent, I get it. Indian-Americans are not a very looks-aware lot in the US because most of them are in the STEM field and looking good is not all that important compared to academics.

But, I am surprised that I am not confused with the super stylish, gorgeous and well put together Pakistani-Americans either. I mean every single Pakistani-American woman I meet here is just so drop dead stunning. Maybe I am not stunning like a Pakistani-American but look good enough to attract a White husband. I dunno!

Did I just read that tight-“look good enough to attract a white husband”? So the standard of beauty is the ability to attract a white husband? That says a lot about your perceptions of white superiority and brown/black inferiority. That is really sad.
Btw I’m black with a white husband but have never seen things that way. I’m stunned!

I read that as, she received compliments about the way she looked and those people would follow up by asking if she was married to a white guy.

Basically implying that she is a surprisingly pretty or fashionable because she must be married to a white guy/white family in order to be able to carry herself that way -- which is super derogatory. They would not expect an Indian to be pretty or fashionable.

Thank you, This is exactly what I meant. The compliments given to me are backhand compliments.

[Anonymous]

Why do black celebs like beyonce, cardi b and Nick minaj try to look white?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a South Asian immigrant. I am petite and have dark hair and eyes along with olive skin. I often feel invisible in American society. Its like i am not seen. I rarely gets compliments. It truly seems like a white woman's world where I live.

I mean this kindly - there are beautiful women of color, and less than beautiful women of color. Just like any others! If you feel invisible, it is perhaps that you do not fall into the first group. Don't feel upset, beauty wouldn't exist if everyone had it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a South Asian immigrant. I am petite and have dark hair and eyes along with olive skin. I often feel invisible in American society. Its like i am not seen. I rarely gets compliments. It truly seems like a white woman's world where I live.

I mean this kindly - there are beautiful women of color, and less than beautiful women of color. Just like any others! If you feel invisible, it is perhaps that you do not fall into the first group. Don't feel upset, beauty wouldn't exist if everyone had it.

+1. Besides, petite doesn’t usually get you attention unless you’re very beautiful .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a South Asian immigrant. I am petite and have dark hair and eyes along with olive skin. I often feel invisible in American society. Its like i am not seen. I rarely gets compliments. It truly seems like a white woman's world where I live.

I mean this kindly - there are beautiful women of color, and less than beautiful women of color. Just like any others! If you feel invisible, it is perhaps that you do not fall into the first group. Don't feel upset, beauty wouldn't exist if everyone had it.

+1. Besides, petite doesn’t usually get you attention unless you’re very beautiful .

That’s not true at all. In American society the height of a woman is not important in terms of her attractiveness. It’s a man’s height that matters.

I know in Indian culture a woman’s height is important but in American society they just care about your face and body!

[Anonymous]

Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do black celebs like beyonce, cardi b and Nick minaj try to look white?

I don't think they do. That is like saying the Kardashians try to look black.

These celebrities have traits they like (straight hair, large rear, blonde, etc.) and they go with that, same as anyone else picks hairstyles, body styles, clothing style they like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Every race has something beautiful to offer but that characteristic is not shared by every member of that race. Just the beautiful ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Well you know when the Indians/South Asians come on you’re going to get the weirdest mix of self loathing, arrogance, and whining “I don’t fit in and Americans don’t find me attractive!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Well you know when the Indians/South Asians come on you’re going to get the weirdest mix of self loathing, arrogance, and whining “I don’t fit in and Americans don’t find me attractive!”

And by Americans, you mean "white men." I know that Indian men find Indian women beautiful. No one is going to be considered beautiful by everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Well you know when the Indians/South Asians come on you’re going to get the weirdest mix of self loathing, arrogance, and whining “I don’t fit in and Americans don’t find me attractive!”

I love the micro aggression that only white people are American! My DH was born and raised in Virginia. He’s American too and gasp...his parents are Indian immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Well you know when the Indians/South Asians come on you’re going to get the weirdest mix of self loathing, arrogance, and whining “I don’t fit in and Americans don’t find me attractive!”

And by Americans, you mean "white men." I know that Indian men find Indian women beautiful. No one is going to be considered beautiful by everyone.

No I don’t (which is why I put that in quotations), but many Indians only think “white” when they say American. No one else registers as American I guess, because they really only want to be desirable to whites. Many normal Indians do find each other attractive but there’s a large subset of weirdos who hate themselves and desperately want to be accepted and admired by “Americans” aka white people. Let’s not pretend we haven’t seen them on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread makes me sad. It seems that many take this to mean "celebrated by white men" for their beauty.... White men aren't the people who decide who is beautiful and they aren't universal either. I think every race is beautiful and has its own characteristics that it finds beautiful. Don't base them off what white men think.

Well you know when the Indians/South Asians come on you’re going to get the weirdest mix of self loathing, arrogance, and whining “I don’t fit in and Americans don’t find me attractive!”

I love the micro aggression that only white people are American! My DH was born and raised in Virginia. He’s American too and gasp...his parents are Indian immigrants.

Way to miss the point-reread and try again.