Your SIL is not your business

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

Um...You definitely have a brother and you definitely have major issues with his wife. Your post gives it away. You sound unhinged.

You can tell all that by my post? Oh, my, how smart are you?
I do not have a brother, and out of all my cousins, only one is a male. No issue to be had. You, on the other hand, are exactly what you called me. That is the funny thing about self-awareness, you project it instead of being able to see the trait in yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

wtf? How old are you? This post is nuts. Do you realize most adults have very little vacation time and that families with kids often get very little time together even less vacation. You're a teen aren't you?

Nah, I am a 50-year-old woman, that is the difference, you are likely too young and think that a day off with your DH is YOURS, and all his vacation is YOURS. Even when most of it is yours, you begrudge one hour he goes to help his sister, mom, move a fridge. So pathetic and needy for 24-hour validation. He married you, can he even shit in peace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

wtf? How old are you? This post is nuts. Do you realize most adults have very little vacation time and that families with kids often get very little time together even less vacation. You're a teen aren't you?

Nah, I am a 50-year-old woman, that is the difference, you are likely too young and think that a day off with your DH is YOURS, and all his vacation is YOURS. Even when most of it is yours, you begrudge one hour he goes to help his sister, mom, move a fridge. So pathetic and needy for 24-hour validation. He married you, can he even shit in peace?

This wins for one of the strangest posters. First off what utterly strange boundaries to think a brother should be vacationing with his sister and not his wife. and of course fixing her car, seeing her once a week, etc. People have jobs and kids. And then you swear you don't have brother, but you have this whole fantasy in your head of some enmeshed brother/sister relationship with a seething wife or likely a wife wondering if there is a family history of incest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

wtf? How old are you? This post is nuts. Do you realize most adults have very little vacation time and that families with kids often get very little time together even less vacation. You're a teen aren't you?

Nah, I am a 50-year-old woman, that is the difference, you are likely too young and think that a day off with your DH is YOURS, and all his vacation is YOURS. Even when most of it is yours, you begrudge one hour he goes to help his sister, mom, move a fridge. So pathetic and needy for 24-hour validation. He married you, can he even shit in peace?

This wins for one of the strangest posters. First off what utterly strange boundaries to think a brother should be vacationing with his sister and not his wife. and of course fixing her car, seeing her once a week, etc. People have jobs and kids. And then you swear you don't have brother, but you have this whole fantasy in your head of some enmeshed brother/sister relationship with a seething wife or likely a wife wondering if there is a family history of incest.

Again, Nah. I read a lot of dcum posts and all are written by people that are unable to be authentic. Emotionally and personally authentic, look it up. Even how you interpret my post is very telling, all your own inability to feel comfortable enough in yourself to understand what I posted. The reason you are triggered is that you had a reaction to my crude words. Something there makes you insecure.

The whole rant by OP is because she is unable to be an authentic person and a truth-teller to herself. She can't understand that her DH can love her and love his sister, mom, dad. This is why you, her are mocking me because you are insecure and a tad narcissistic. You don't know who you are, what you stand for, what is your purpose, that is why you are not resistant to my post. An authentic person can take a hike when they read something like this. You can't. Others here did, they did not bother to reply and prove that I am insane. But, you see, they don't connect their authenticity and self-esteem with what some stranger posted on dcum. You do.
That's it from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

wtf? How old are you? This post is nuts. Do you realize most adults have very little vacation time and that families with kids often get very little time together even less vacation. You're a teen aren't you?

Nah, I am a 50-year-old woman, that is the difference, you are likely too young and think that a day off with your DH is YOURS, and all his vacation is YOURS. Even when most of it is yours, you begrudge one hour he goes to help his sister, mom, move a fridge. So pathetic and needy for 24-hour validation. He married you, can he even shit in peace?

This wins for one of the strangest posters. First off what utterly strange boundaries to think a brother should be vacationing with his sister and not his wife. and of course fixing her car, seeing her once a week, etc. People have jobs and kids. And then you swear you don't have brother, but you have this whole fantasy in your head of some enmeshed brother/sister relationship with a seething wife or likely a wife wondering if there is a family history of incest.

Again, Nah. I read a lot of dcum posts and all are written by people that are unable to be authentic. Emotionally and personally authentic, look it up. Even how you interpret my post is very telling, all your own inability to feel comfortable enough in yourself to understand what I posted. The reason you are triggered is that you had a reaction to my crude words. Something there makes you insecure.

The whole rant by OP is because she is unable to be an authentic person and a truth-teller to herself. She can't understand that her DH can love her and love his sister, mom, dad. This is why you, her are mocking me because you are insecure and a tad narcissistic. You don't know who you are, what you stand for, what is your purpose, that is why you are not resistant to my post. An authentic person can take a hike when they read something like this. You can't. Others here did, they did not bother to reply and prove that I am insane. But, you see, they don't connect their authenticity and self-esteem with what some stranger posted on dcum. You do.
That's it from me.

Thou doth protest too much. Sure you don't have a SIL you are livid with a brother who just isn't that into you.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many of you are talking about your DH's sister vs your brother's wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

wtf? How old are you? This post is nuts. Do you realize most adults have very little vacation time and that families with kids often get very little time together even less vacation. You're a teen aren't you?

Nah, I am a 50-year-old woman, that is the difference, you are likely too young and think that a day off with your DH is YOURS, and all his vacation is YOURS. Even when most of it is yours, you begrudge one hour he goes to help his sister, mom, move a fridge. So pathetic and needy for 24-hour validation. He married you, can he even shit in peace?

This wins for one of the strangest posters. First off what utterly strange boundaries to think a brother should be vacationing with his sister and not his wife. and of course fixing her car, seeing her once a week, etc. People have jobs and kids. And then you swear you don't have brother, but you have this whole fantasy in your head of some enmeshed brother/sister relationship with a seething wife or likely a wife wondering if there is a family history of incest.

Again, Nah. I read a lot of dcum posts and all are written by people that are unable to be authentic. Emotionally and personally authentic, look it up. Even how you interpret my post is very telling, all your own inability to feel comfortable enough in yourself to understand what I posted. The reason you are triggered is that you had a reaction to my crude words. Something there makes you insecure.

The whole rant by OP is because she is unable to be an authentic person and a truth-teller to herself. She can't understand that her DH can love her and love his sister, mom, dad. This is why you, her are mocking me because you are insecure and a tad narcissistic. You don't know who you are, what you stand for, what is your purpose, that is why you are not resistant to my post. An authentic person can take a hike when they read something like this. You can't. Others here did, they did not bother to reply and prove that I am insane. But, you see, they don't connect their authenticity and self-esteem with what some stranger posted on dcum. You do.
That's it from me.

There isn't just one person replying to you. I'm am not the pp. Your posts are bizarre and your ideas and assumptions about other people's relationships are bizarre. You would clearly be a nightmare as a relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is my reply to SIL:

When you married my brother, you married into the family. You are not a silo, you are not on an island, you are not a hermit; you are part of a group, you are part of a tribe, you are part of our family.

Many of your problems with my brother stem from your inability to adapt. You sought him out because he comes from a functional family unit and people like you, from dysfunctional family units, frequently will seek out (subconsciously or not) a partner who is functional. Then you arrived into our functional family and immediately began to try out your dysfunctional ways. You are finding that they don't work. You're mad about it.

You needed to decide whether you're going to change for the better or whether you're going to be mad all the time. You chose to be mad and angry all the time. Now hopefully my brother will decide it isn't worth it. There are better women out there and he deserves to find one.

Wtf did I just read???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of you are talking about your DH's sister vs your brother's wife.

Pretty sure the one talking about her brother wanting to sleep with her was talking about her brother’s wife.

[Anonymous]

Neither of mine can even be cordial at family events. One tried to kill us because she is unstable. BIL's refusal to muzzle his b- cost him his relationship with any DN and his sibling. He just schedules himself to be gone all the time for work rather than deal with her.

BIL & SIL call for a money, a job, or to say something denigrating to make themselves feel better when they are feeling insecure. Only lonely, bitter and MASSIVELY insecure people behave this way so it's no loss in my opinion.

The other SIL threatens suicide every time my brother tries to break things off. She lied about covid exposure and knowingly exposed our elderly parents and my family, too. She snuck into MY house in the middle of the night so we told her to gtfo-she isn't welcome here.

Anything with either SIL is absolutely my business because it effects me and is always somehow directed at me even if I have not seen these people in over a year! If someone screams at or is otherwise endangering, abusing, or taking advantage of my family then I intervene.

Generally it is the same old "why won't she give me access to her beach house" or "give us the $" gift that BIL's wife thinks she deserves (because $500 isn't enough to satisfy her greed) and she assumes I'm holding up the purse strings.

I always ask SO if there is anyone he wants to send an xmas card to. He says no. He doesn't call them. They call when they want something like BIL's wife asking where I got my lingerie on SO's birthday call after she's ben telling everyone I'm a slut. I'm not and never have been (but she was, she said while drunk) and what does any of that matter more than a decade into our respective relationships? Just wtf with these people.

Trying to shame me with the rest of the hyper-conservative and religious extended family and then asking for my assistance is messed up. I didn't have any suggestions that would fit her budget anyway.

If they were normal then I'd love to have a close relationship but I spent years doing what my family does-generous, supportive, etc, like a card and gift for graduation and babies-and realized they were just swine and damaging our mental health by interacting with them much at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is one of the most unhappy, nastiest, awful women I have ever met. Believe me, I want absolutely nothing to do with her. But she is so cruel to my little nephew. She regularly says in front of him (he is 9) that the worst day of her life was the day he was born. She is a professor and is very invested in her identity as an academic, so talks about her child viciously in front of him when he wants to do normal kid things like play sports instead of taking extra academic classes for fun ("I can't believe I would ever give birth to a stupid jock.")

She tried to isolate my brother and son from our family, but my brother (who is the primary wage-earner) found a job that required him to move near us. He was open to us about how he can't divorce her at this point to protect his son, and he moved back near family so his son can get the love he deserves from extended family.

So I endure her insults, her cruelty, etc. (I gray rock, which drives her nuts, so she lashes out more.) All of us in the extended family do, because we are all united in trying to protect her sweet and vulnerable little son. He doesn't deserve that horrific woman as his mother. But he has her, and so all we can do is try to protect him.

Wow PP! Wish you the best of luck! What a sacrifice for your nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is one of the most unhappy, nastiest, awful women I have ever met. Believe me, I want absolutely nothing to do with her. But she is so cruel to my little nephew. She regularly says in front of him (he is 9) that the worst day of her life was the day he was born. She is a professor and is very invested in her identity as an academic, so talks about her child viciously in front of him when he wants to do normal kid things like play sports instead of taking extra academic classes for fun ("I can't believe I would ever give birth to a stupid jock.")

She tried to isolate my brother and son from our family, but my brother (who is the primary wage-earner) found a job that required him to move near us. He was open to us about how he can't divorce her at this point to protect his son, and he moved back near family so his son can get the love he deserves from extended family.

So I endure her insults, her cruelty, etc. (I gray rock, which drives her nuts, so she lashes out more.) All of us in the extended family do, because we are all united in trying to protect her sweet and vulnerable little son. He doesn't deserve that horrific woman as his mother. But he has her, and so all we can do is try to protect him.

Wow PP! Wish you the best of luck! What a sacrifice for your nephew.

Actually, it’s your brother who is awful. I’m glad my brother loves and protects his children and would never allow that to happen to them. He has a spine and a voice and protects his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a brother, but your guys are full of BS. You don't care if your DH has a relationship with his sister or parents? Yes, that is exactly right, but the point is that you are fine with him not having much contact with them. If he does have it, all hell breaks loose.
You become the SIL that you hate. You can deny it all you want, but it is the truth. When was the last time we had a thread that said, "DH and his sister have a great relationship! He gets together with her once a week! I am so happy for him."
So, yes, you all don't care if he doesn't have a relationship. God forbid he went to fix her car, on vacation with her, you are as green as a frog in that case!

I have three kids - two boys and a girl. And I very much hope that when they are old, and if they chose to get married, they get along with ILs. I hope someone's future husband, one of my sons, has a great relationship with his sister. And I hope the sister has a good relationship with her husband's family etc. The world needs more kindness.