Things a kid should know by 8-9

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary schooler is supposed to do their own laundry? I didn’t until college and I turned out just fine.

Same. This thread is pretty fakey/tryhard.

Really? This is what seems fake and try hard to you? Granted I'm a 90's ki, but my siblings and I were all taught laundry at 8 . I remember going to college and being amazed there were people who were 17/18/19 years old and had no clue how to work a machine.

Again, you can teach the kid that in 12th grade.

College Laundress PP, this is just getting kind of circular.

You can teach a kid to cook on the stovetop in 12th grade, and not before. You can teach a kid how to navigate the Metro/bus system in 12th grade, and not before. You can teach a kid how to plan a meal and shop for groceries in 12th grade, and not before.

These are all things a parent can do FOR the child before then. Arguably 1) without missing out on too much like they would if you waited until 12th grade to teach them to ride a bike or use a microwave and also 2) that they have use for before 12th grade (vs how to open a PEPCO account or whatever).

But most people teach these things well before age 17-18, because it's pretty... natural to at least start teaching these things before then? It doesn't need to be or feel forced. Unless you firmly believe a child should be waited upon hand and foot until 17-18, you can teach these things bit by bit without it being "try hard" or "fakey." You probably agree they should do some chores, right? Laundry is such an easy one, a useful one, one that is pretty separable and naturally occurring, so to speak. E.g., it would be silly to have your kid be responsible for planning and buying just the household's produce in a separate grocery trip or something, but doing 1-2 loads of their own laundry from their own hamper is pretty self-contained and logical. And unlike some busywork sorts of chores, reduced laundry actually relieves parents a little bit.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I think the bottom line is that there is a huge long list of valuable skills a kid can have at 8-9, but it's impossible to teach them all at once. Most kids grow up to acquire most skills at some point, with some small stuff slipping through the cracks until much later, which only makes for funny stories - like the PPs who didn't know where south was or what a teaspoon was.

You just have to reflect on which skills matter most to you (either for your kids' autonomy or for your own sanity!) and work on a few of them at a time. I for one never did laundry until I moved out of my parents' house, but I still knew how to do it and managed just fine when I started living on my own. My mom had her system at home and just preferred to manage it herself. So no, I don't think doing laundry or even chores in general at 9 is a requirement to become a productive adult.. but autonomy and resourcefulness are. The order in which you teach specific skills doesn't matter all that much as long as your kids are generally competent and know how to acquire any skill they might be missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these things are so... boring.

Kayak
put their own bait on to fish
take a fish off the hook
pitch a tent
how to belay
how to properly throw a ball
how to properly run (seriously take your kid out and make sure he moves his arms and can run properly)
how to tie a proper knot
how to play 1 song on 1 instrument
How to dance ... make it up, just dance
plan a dinner... not necessarily execute well
identify a predator
stand up to an adult and seek help
stand up to a bully
swing a golf club
create art from random things without instructions
tell NESW without a compass
navigate their way home, drive somewhere and ask them to tell you how to get home... then to the store, then to school
check the oil
change a tire
cut the lawn/edge
plant a pot with something and make it grow
plant a garden
stop a wound from bleeding
when to help and when to run and get help (never jump into running water)
how to calculate change
how to show empathy for a friend
how to say no nicely

This is a good list.

[Anonymous]

I would add, how to politely decline a hug or other physical contact you do not want. How to insist if your polite no is ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I think the bottom line is that there is a huge long list of valuable skills a kid can have at 8-9, but it's impossible to teach them all at once. Most kids grow up to acquire most skills at some point, with some small stuff slipping through the cracks until much later, which only makes for funny stories - like the PPs who didn't know where south was or what a teaspoon was.

You just have to reflect on which skills matter most to you (either for your kids' autonomy or for your own sanity!) and work on a few of them at a time. I for one never did laundry until I moved out of my parents' house, but I still knew how to do it and managed just fine when I started living on my own. My mom had her system at home and just preferred to manage it herself. So no, I don't think doing laundry or even chores in general at 9 is a requirement to become a productive adult.. but autonomy and resourcefulness are. The order in which you teach specific skills doesn't matter all that much as long as your kids are generally competent and know how to acquire any skill they might be missing.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary schooler is supposed to do their own laundry? I didn’t until college and I turned out just fine.

Same. This thread is pretty fakey/tryhard.

Really? This is what seems fake and try hard to you? Granted I'm a 90's ki, but my siblings and I were all taught laundry at 8 . I remember going to college and being amazed there were people who were 17/18/19 years old and had no clue how to work a machine.

Again, you can teach the kid that in 12th grade.

College Laundress PP, this is just getting kind of circular.

You can teach a kid to cook on the stovetop in 12th grade, and not before. You can teach a kid how to navigate the Metro/bus system in 12th grade, and not before. You can teach a kid how to plan a meal and shop for groceries in 12th grade, and not before.

These are all things a parent can do FOR the child before then. Arguably 1) without missing out on too much like they would if you waited until 12th grade to teach them to ride a bike or use a microwave and also 2) that they have use for before 12th grade (vs how to open a PEPCO account or whatever).

But most people teach these things well before age 17-18, because it's pretty... natural to at least start teaching these things before then? It doesn't need to be or feel forced. Unless you firmly believe a child should be waited upon hand and foot until 17-18, you can teach these things bit by bit without it being "try hard" or "fakey." You probably agree they should do some chores, right? Laundry is such an easy one, a useful one, one that is pretty separable and naturally occurring, so to speak. E.g., it would be silly to have your kid be responsible for planning and buying just the household's produce in a separate grocery trip or something, but doing 1-2 loads of their own laundry from their own hamper is pretty self-contained and logical. And unlike some busywork sorts of chores, reduced laundry actually relieves parents a little bit.

NP here. This reminds me of the ongoing disagreement between me and my MIL. My dd is 10 and can do most of the recommended things (not some of the outdoorsy ones like fishing though). I believe that by teaching her to do useful and helpful things and expecting her to have a share of the work in our home that I'm raising a capable adult which I don't believe happens overnight. My MIL thinks that childhood should last as long as possible and that all of these things can wait until she's on her own, but I can't imagine sending a woman-child out into the world without having any realistic knowledge or practice of how to manage and a huge sense of entitlement that everything should be done for her. I love her more than I have good words to describe, but I'm not going to be her maid.

Kids like to have a sense of pride in work well done, too. I'd add to the ongoing list (sorry for any repeats I missed):
- bake a dessert
- know how to hand-sew a button and repair a rip
- use a sewing machine
- help a young child with something
- help an older person with something
- have a pleasant conversation with someone significantly older or younger than they are
- manage an allowance
- light a match
- build a fire in a fireplace or fire pit
- treat a small injury themselves, like cleaning a bleeding scratch and putting their own bandaid on
- change bedsheets
- identify local plants, birds, insects, etc.
- recognize signs of seasonal/weather change

[Anonymous]

Sit through a performance at a theater and manage any boredom without detracting from others' enjoyment