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Preschool and Daycare Discussion
In home day care vent/warning
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Anonymous
| What is an asshat? |
Anonymous
You really get your panties twisted over a couple of minutes? Your life is scheduled that precisely? How unfortunate. |
Anonymous
My guess is that your attitude is one reason you have been in business for over 20 years. Small business is hard for sure, but the best ones thrive as partnerships with their customers. That means a little give and take every now and then. You can be flexible without its being a sign of disrespect on either side. Yes, there are parents and providers who take advantage of flexibility, and IMO, neither lasts long as a client or provider. But to be human and open the door a minute or two early every once in a while? Sounds like a good business practice to me, and one that no parent should take advantage of on a regular basis. |
Anonymous
| I have been a provider for 13 years and 2 minutes early does not rattle my cage at all because I think that daycare is a give and take situation. By a give and take I think it goes both ways. I sit down and go over my contract with each of my parents and make sure we both understand what to expect and I make sure they get their copy before we start care. I also encourage my parents that if they have an issue to discuss it with me instead of stewing about it. |
Anonymous
And these are good ideas. You probably have happy parents. |
Anonymous
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My door is locked until I'm open just like the vast majority of other businesses. That's in my contract and parents are all aware of it. If I know roads are bad and parents may need a few minutes extra in the morning, I will unlock a couple of minutes early but no more than five. At that point I make the conscious decision to be ready for daycare kids 5 minutes early. Other than that I simply can't.. that time before kids arrive is when I'm getting MY household ready for the day. If my kids need me until 30 seconds before the daycare opens then I'm there for them. (30 seconds might be an exaggeration, but I'm sure most get the point.) If that means an early parent waits then an early parent waits. I think once I've let them in early; but they had to stay with their own child for those few minutes while I did what mine needed and made my last trip to the washroom. (TMI yes, but I try to make it the last thing I do before I unlock the door.. lol!)
In the end, parents need to make themselves aware of the rules and contract. If you can't live with what's in it or find it ridiculous then that isn't the place for your child. |
Anonymous
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For those providers that are anal about the extra few minutes, that is ridiculous. I am the provider who has been doing care for over 20 years (will be 28 years in June). While I may get upset if someone comes 15-20 minutes early (yes, I make that last trip to the bathroom too before the kids arrive because goodness knows when the next one may come!) I really dont see the harm with 1-2 minutes. I have actually had a mom call me because she'd come to the door about 5 minutes early, and yes I was in the bathroom. She called just as I'd come out, and said she thought she might be a few minutes early and said she would wait outside and I said nonsense, come on in. I do NOT leave my door unlocked at any time during the day while the kids are here - not at opening time, not at closing time. NEVER. because you just never know who might come walking through the door. I am home alone during the day and safety is my first and foremost policy.
A provider mentioned that they dont close during weather like this. In my contract it does state I follow county government, which rarely closes as well. If I followed school schedule, then I wouldnt be available for those days school has closed for a dusting of snow, which would be ridiculous as well. IF it is safe to get here and I had a mom call me and ask if the kids could come in, I am okay with that. Afterall, like someone said, i am home anyway, so why not? While I do have written statement in my contract, I handle these closures on a case by case basis. Meaning if county government closes, but I see it really isnt that bad out, I will call the parents and tell them if they want to bring in their kids, do so Right now, I have already told one of my clients if she wants to work a couple Saturdays and on monday, which is a holiday, to go ahead and i would keep her child at no extra cost to make up for this week. The provider who wrote it is about give and take, I agree. But only as long as it is on even keel. Not just one party, parent or client, getting all the take or having to give all the time. |
Anonymous
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"For those providers that are anal about the extra few minutes, that is ridiculous."
For your house perhaps. And that's fine for your house. But here, those 5 minutes are needed some days so I keep them open for my kids. I have found (and maybe it was just particular clients) that 1 - 2 minutes would turn to five.. and five would turn into a few more.. until they were routinely here 10, 15, sometimes 20 minutes early. By routinely I mean once a week. Well, sorry but no I am not going to open the door that early for you on a regular basis. So I became anal about the clock. Since I have been, it has been respected even by the one client that was otherwise here too early IMO. |
Anonymous
When it becomes a problem then on a daily or weekly basis, not following the contracted time, then it is up to you to enforce your contract. Tell them they will be Charged a fee, same as we charge a fee if they come late to pick up. I find that puts an end to late pickups that are not prearranged with me (if a parent is running late, they will call and let me know so I can plan for them being here a little late, it is my discretion if I feel the need to charge the late fee) If it is a parent who never takes advantage ot it, then I will tell them to go on and not pay late fees, but if it becomes a habitual problem then yes. Many times charging that fee will let a parent know I am serious about the contract and I value my family time, which of course is being cut into if the kids are here later than usual, but my god the world isnt going to come to an end if it happens. I mean, I totally understand certain situations that might delay someone, same that I feel they may arrive that few minutes early. But to be so anal about just a few minutes IMHO really is petty. But you are correct, to each his own. What works in my house may not work for you or any other provider. Which is why potential clients check out each childcare home, and determines which would be better for their individual situation. Just the same way that not each families situation may be what I am looking for IE way too early hours, late hours, weekends, etc. Which by the way, I have extended my hours on a case by case basis to include evenings and weekends. But again, that is everyones individual choice. My one mom doesnt do it much, but on ocassion she has left the house and traffic wasnt as bad as usual or whatever. I dont turn them away. But then I guess this also might be because I make sure everything i need is ready the night before. This is a topic we could go round and round about, because everyone has their own rules and expectations, both the parents and the providers. |
Anonymous
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I'm a child care provider as well and agree with the poster who posted at 23:52.
I have a lot of perks because I'm able to work from home. I can throw a load of laundry in, start dinner early and I don't have to leave my house in bad weather. But, along with the perks come the non-perks. Since I'm home, I have no reason to close just because of bad weather, I don't get a true lunch break each day, I get little adult interaction. Every job has it's pros and cons and it's up to each person to determine if the pros and cons are worth it to them to work that particular job. Flexibility is so important in a provider/parent relationship, from both sides. There's also a fine line between flexibility and feeling taken advantage of, again on both sides. It can be hard to balance the two but it's important to find a way to do it. I refuse to live by a clock and I also refuse to keep score on who did what when and how often. If someone is late to pick up or a few minutes early to drop off then I assume that at some point they'll be early to pick up or late to drop off by a few minutes. If someone is especially busy at work, I'm going to try to be a little more understanding of lateness or a distracted parent. As your child's care provider I don't want to add to your stress. Parents have enough styress in their lives, they don't need extra added on by me. But, all that said, here's the balancing act. If I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of, it's my responsibility to respectfully let the parents know this. Shoving an underlined contract in their faces making demands they change here and now is not going to solve or help anything. But by clearly expressing that I'm feeling a bit overworked and that I'm going to have to ask that they ensure they're on time/communicating with me/providing supplies or proper outdoor clothing when asked or whatever the issue is that is causing me to feel unappreciated. I do have late fees and rules stated in my policies. They're there so that if, after a failed attempt to ensure parents are respecting me and my boundaries, I can enforce the fees/rules/penalties as per the situation. It's so important to have a mutual respect for each other as parent and provider. You both have the same goal - the well being of the child(ren) but it takes some give or take on both sides to make things work and a score card will never help. |
Anonymous
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I am the 23:52 poster, and I totally agree with you as well, 12:52 poster. The WORSE thing as a provider, or parent for that matter, is to not sit down and openly discuss something that is bothering you about the parent/child/provider relationship. It grates on you, and before you know it you become very bitter. I can admit there were times I was very frustrated at how some parents walked all over me and my rules, until I opened my eyes and realized that it was ME who was allowing it to happen by not being more open with them
There is a LOT I have learned and taken away by attending training meetings, and getting the chance to talk to other providers. Everyone has their way of providing care, however I feel that the more flexible I can be, within certain reason, makes everyone happy! |
Anonymous
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"But, all that said, here's the balancing act. If I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of, it's my responsibility to respectfully let the parents know this. "
Which I did. I really do think that's the only reason they only did it on average once/week. For me it was better to simply not be available earlier than it was to hound them for extra fees. It's now dealt with in a way that worked. I have my boundaries... and when my door is open for business is one of those boundaries. OP's provider didn't have a good way of dealing with it. Being rude accomplishes nothing. I stated more than once that the early (and getting earlier) arrivals were not working for me. The parents weren't cluing in.. so I changed things. I could have stuck the contract under their nose but for them a locked door is a little more convincing. I have decided that if I want to stay in this business for 20 years I'm going to have to decide now what works for me and what doesn't. |
Anonymous
And did you go and spend time with here during working hours. See how she interacted with your child and any other child in her care. I strongly encourage my prospective parents to drop in anytime, except at nap time. They can stay for 15 mins or 2 hours I don't care. If they come over snack or lunch and their child can eat what we are having they are invited to join in. Also I tell parents the number one thing is to go with your gut. If after spending time here you feel this isn't the right place for your child then please keep looking, you will be entrusting your most prized possession with the person who cares for them, so you must be comfortable with them |
Anonymous
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Having parents who are comfortable with their care provider is preferable to parents who chose care merely based on availability or out of desperation. That's when providers have to constantly placate the parents, remind them of small but important things or try to appease them when things aren't going they way the parents "think" they should.
OP, clearly there are things about your provider you are unhappy with. Look elsewhere, read carefully, and ask a ton of questions. |
Anonymous
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OP:
I am sorry that your provider responds to you this way...it is unprofessional and rude. Even though she's been in business for a while and perhaps have had to "toughen" up, it doesn't mean that new parents must be treated like delinquents or less than golden daycare families. As a provider, I try to make sure my rules/policies are followed, but I talk with each family/parent on an as needed basis, with respect and caring. I feel that if I am to expect respect, I must first be respectful. To me, if you showed up for care 1 minute early, knocked, and then returned to your car because the door wasn't open just yet, I wouldn't have said ONE word. I typically open my door 5 minutes prior to my exact opening time, so I'm not inadvertenly late opening. It would have been a red flag for me (as a potetial client) if she refused to allow you to sign the contract and/or hold onto it for reference. In my daycare a contract and filled out enrollment forms are required to begin the trial period. I hope you do find someone else that works with your schedule and is convenient for you. IMO a parent and provider should at least be able to be friendly with one another, and hopefully develop a pleasant and respectful working relationship. I consider my clients "part of the daycare [i]FAMILY" and I enjoy each and everyone of them. Without my clients I wouldn't have a job, and even though I've been burned before, that doesn't mean my current clients don't deserve the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves a chance. Good luck with finding a new daycare and I hope it's a better experience for you! |