Why do men lie about who they like and sleep with who they say they hate?

[Anonymous]

99% of relationship queries can be traced back to the following simple fact: People are stupid.

[Anonymous]

I am one of the (clearly multiple) posters who remember your posts from recent weeks. I posted in website feedback and apologized above for calling you a troll. I'm not 100% sure I'm wrong about that but I will take Jeff's word on it.

For the record, I'm not obsessed with you or trying to be mean to you. I enjoy this forum and read it regularly. I posted in that previous thread trying to help and gave genuine advice about letting it go. I am not a troll and put a lot of thought into my posts. I try to be a positive impact on DCUM not a negative one and it is frustrating when I put time and energy into trying to give a poster genuine and well meaning advice only to find out it was a troll/totally fake.

So some people will call me a DCUM hall monitor but I just really dislike trolls in the relationship forums wasting people's time. So IMO it is you who is the bad guy here. Repeatedly calling people who tried to give you real advice before (and therefore remember your post because we cared at the time) crazy obsessed lunatics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok glad I'm not the only one having deja vu.

OP, as before please let it go. Yes break ups suck. Yes being cheated on sucks, but count yourself lucky, go be with someone who wants to be with you. Don't let this ex and is new girlfriend take up anymore space in your head.

Okay mean girl #3 or #2?

Sorry but the only way you know if its the same poster is thru the IP otherwise you're just guessing and being spiteful for no reason.

Thank you but I am happy. However I am concerned about how much time you spend on here that you memorize posts you say were deleted by the mods. You must spend a lot of time online getting involved with people's drama and lives?

The same exact threads, word for word was posted not that long ago, the odds of that being someone else are not very high. You have made multiple threads about this situation. Break ups suck. Obsessing over them only hurts you. Get help.

You are obsessed with some dcum woman's breakup story. I didn't mention a breakup, ex, or new girlfriend anywhere in my main post. I mentioned fat people among other people and you got annoyed. You call vs models anorexic yet that is what a beautiful curvy woman looks like without cankles and with a defined waist.

I suggest you take your own advice and get help, get some sun, and stop obsessing and fighting like mad over who you think is a troll. Make friends, love life, and get off the internet?

NP. Op is losing it. You didn’t have to mention breakup, we know that is the same OP. I am sorry that you are heartbroken, but obsessing over your ex and stacking the new girlfriend on Social media won’t help you. I suggest you block both of them from social media so they don’t exist in your life anymore. Hope you get help soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok glad I'm not the only one having deja vu.

OP, as before please let it go. Yes break ups suck. Yes being cheated on sucks, but count yourself lucky, go be with someone who wants to be with you. Don't let this ex and is new girlfriend take up anymore space in your head.

Okay mean girl #3 or #2?

Sorry but the only way you know if its the same poster is thru the IP otherwise you're just guessing and being spiteful for no reason.

Thank you but I am happy. However I am concerned about how much time you spend on here that you memorize posts you say were deleted by the mods. You must spend a lot of time online getting involved with people's drama and lives?

The same exact threads, word for word was posted not that long ago, the odds of that being someone else are not very high. You have made multiple threads about this situation. Break ups suck. Obsessing over them only hurts you. Get help.

You are obsessed with some dcum woman's breakup story. I didn't mention a breakup, ex, or new girlfriend anywhere in my main post. I mentioned fat people among other people and you got annoyed. You call vs models anorexic yet that is what a beautiful curvy woman looks like without cankles and with a defined waist.

I suggest you take your own advice and get help, get some sun, and stop obsessing and fighting like mad over who you think is a troll. Make friends, love life, and get off the internet?

No one is fighting, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the (clearly multiple) posters who remember your posts from recent weeks. I posted in website feedback and apologized above for calling you a troll. I'm not 100% sure I'm wrong about that but I will take Jeff's word on it.

For the record, I'm not obsessed with you or trying to be mean to you. I enjoy this forum and read it regularly. I posted in that previous thread trying to help and gave genuine advice about letting it go. I am not a troll and put a lot of thought into my posts. I try to be a positive impact on DCUM not a negative one and it is frustrating when I put time and energy into trying to give a poster genuine and well meaning advice only to find out it was a troll/totally fake.

So some people will call me a DCUM hall monitor but I just really dislike trolls in the relationship forums wasting people's time. So IMO it is you who is the bad guy here. Repeatedly calling people who tried to give you real advice before (and therefore remember your post because we cared at the time) crazy obsessed lunatics.

This.

[Anonymous]

+1 to the theory that some men don't have enough confidence to admit what they like if they think it goes against what "society" touts as attractive.

We have a close friend who slams his ex-wife for being fat, saggy faced, etc. You listen to him for 2 minutes and you can tell that he's actually still very broken up over the divorce and still finds his ex to be beautiful.

It's too bad that we can't all accept that there is no one perfect body type and chemistry is key to attraction. You can have chemistry with a variety of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m convinced that people talk trash about things they secretly like, but for some reason feel ashamed of. Sort of like the raging homophobe who gets caught hooking up with men.

I can always tell when my DH finds a woman attractive because he’ll point out her flaws. The unattractive ones he doesn’t even notice, lol.

I can tell when my DH finds a woman attractive when he walks head first into a street lamp because his head is turned around!

My DH is the opposite-- he tries so hard to be a gentleman that when he sees an attractive woman, he looks in the oppposite direction. It's his tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 to the theory that some men don't have enough confidence to admit what they like if they think it goes against what "society" touts as attractive.

We have a close friend who slams his ex-wife for being fat, saggy faced, etc. You listen to him for 2 minutes and you can tell that he's actually still very broken up over the divorce and still finds his ex to be beautiful.

It's too bad that we can't all accept that there is no one perfect body type and chemistry is key to attraction. You can have chemistry with a variety of people.

Your friend sounds very nasty.

[Anonymous]

People especially some men will tell the current lady in their life whatever they think she wants to hear, in order to have regular sex with them, for some this means swearing up and down that's she's his exact type and has never been attracted to anything different.


ALso, people don't like to believe this, but for some men personality plays a lot into who they end up with. Hot but mean gets old. Not coventianally attractive, but fun to be around, and little to no drama, can win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People especially some men will tell the current lady in their life whatever they think she wants to hear, in order to have regular sex with them, for some this means swearing up and down that's she's his exact type and has never been attracted to anything different.


ALso, people don't like to believe this, but for some men personality plays a lot into who they end up with. Hot but mean gets old. Not coventianally attractive, but fun to be around, and little to no drama, can win.

and sometimes the man is dysfunctional enough to CRAVE the drama and batsh*tness.

I agree they will tell a woman anything...even "I love you" to keep the free sex, no strings sex coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People especially some men will tell the current lady in their life whatever they think she wants to hear, in order to have regular sex with them, for some this means swearing up and down that's she's his exact type and has never been attracted to anything different.


ALso, people don't like to believe this, but for some men personality plays a lot into who they end up with. Hot but mean gets old. Not coventianally attractive, but fun to be around, and little to no drama, can win.

and sometimes the man is dysfunctional enough to CRAVE the drama and batsh*tness.

I agree they will tell a woman anything...even "I love you" to keep the free sex, no strings sex coming.

If no commitment has been made several years in...you know you are being used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to the theory that some men don't have enough confidence to admit what they like if they think it goes against what "society" touts as attractive.

We have a close friend who slams his ex-wife for being fat, saggy faced, etc. You listen to him for 2 minutes and you can tell that he's actually still very broken up over the divorce and still finds his ex to be beautiful.

It's too bad that we can't all accept that there is no one perfect body type and chemistry is key to attraction. You can have chemistry with a variety of people.

Your friend sounds very nasty.

News flash? Thanks for adding to the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys I knew or dated would trash fat women/white women/other race women/trashy women with tats etc but still hook up with them and go on to have a serious relationship with them. Is it desperation or what?

Dating and certainly cheating come down to proximity, opportunity, risk assessment and luck. Like a married man who randomly cheats with his trashy female hair stylist -- just happens to be the one random woman he sees once a month. Doesn't mean she's his type, just chance proximity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to the theory that some men don't have enough confidence to admit what they like if they think it goes against what "society" touts as attractive.

We have a close friend who slams his ex-wife for being fat, saggy faced, etc. You listen to him for 2 minutes and you can tell that he's actually still very broken up over the divorce and still finds his ex to be beautiful.

It's too bad that we can't all accept that there is no one perfect body type and chemistry is key to attraction. You can have chemistry with a variety of people.

Your friend sounds very nasty.

News flash? Thanks for adding to the conversation.

You sound nasty too, and also stuck in the 80s maturity wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People especially some men will tell the current lady in their life whatever they think she wants to hear, in order to have regular sex with them, for some this means swearing up and down that's she's his exact type and has never been attracted to anything different.


ALso, people don't like to believe this, but for some men personality plays a lot into who they end up with. Hot but mean gets old. Not coventianally attractive, but fun to be around, and little to no drama, can win.

and sometimes the man is dysfunctional enough to CRAVE the drama and batsh*tness.

I agree they will tell a woman anything...even "I love you" to keep the free sex, no strings sex coming.

Some do. Or for some it's a phase, like for some women go through a bad boy phase they think all the drama and nonsense is exciting and real love, and then they grow up and settle down with a partner who may not be the tall dark and handsome guy, but he's kind, and stable, no drama. Basically the kind you date vs the kind you marry, holds true for women and men.