What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 31 and I have a drivers license but I don’t drive ever. I have dyspraxia which compounds my anxiety that I may just kill someone while driving and end up serving time for vehicular manslaughter. I drove into a palm tree the week after I got my license and that just did it for me. I live in the suburbs and get by doing work remotely.

What about other aspects of your life? Do you Uber? My DD is 13 and has dyspraxia, and I always worry about this.

[Anonymous]

Some people never master driving. If she does everything else well, then it isn't about smarts.

Considering you think it is about smarts, I wonder if the problem is you. Has she learned other skills from you? Is she getting enough practice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You should have some idea by now of WHY your child isn't doing well with this. Vision? Poor spacial skills? Lack of practice? Anxiety?

I have a gifted and learning disabled teen, and I know driving will pose a problem because:
1. lack of motor coordination
2. problem with assessing distances
3. executive functioning deficits
4. slow processing speed
5. anxiety

His IQ is in the gifted range, but for driving, it's not going to compensate enough. Like me, he'll have to practice for a very long time before he gets it

The solution is to PRACTICE MORE.

and the other part of the solution may be that he never is at ease with driving and constructs his life so he doesn't have to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does she need a DL for a job?

Because so many jobs demand she work during the day (in the summers) and I have no way to get her to and from them unless she gets there really early and stays longer than the shift lasts. And I can't have her apply to jobs that are 10+ minutes away because I simply don't have time to cart her around constantly anymore. It has severely limited her social life. In high school if sports were cancelled for any reason she'd often have to wait alone. And yes a couple food places explicitly required a valid DL, not just an ID.

These are good reasons, OP. But I think it is time you develop some empathy.

She can't be happy with this situation, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious when you let your child sit in the front passenger seat. I let my kids sit up with me when they were 8 or 9. Now my oldest is a really good driver. I think from being up front, and sometimes being my navigator. Even my 13 year old was able to drive slowly on my in laws ranch in the spring.

I ask because my sister didn't let her kids sit up front until they were 14. By then they preferred to just keep sitting in back. Neither of her kids can drive now at 18 and 20. I think they never got exposed to driving and judging traffic. My 13 year old for years has been telling me when it is safe to merge on his side.

Ah this would be illegal in Maryland. Did you also let them try whiskey at those ages?

[Anonymous]

I'll also add: I tried to take expensive lessons, before my boyfriend at the time taught me and I took the test at 25. Cost does not correlate with instructor quality at all.

One thing that made it easier for me was we got a tiny car, where I could get a sense of its size. To this day I am not super comfortable parallel parking even with regular sedans, much less SUVs or minivans. I'm very grateful for rearview cameras, but with the tiny hatchback I didn't need it (and didn't have one).

The other was, one night boyfriend at the time (now DH) took me to a empty parking lot and had me fist do circles forward. Then backwards. Parking here, there, make it into that spot backing in, driving forward, back out, etc. I got really confident after that practice session.

A third thing, figuring out the logic of parallel parking required breaking down which way the wheels turn relative to where the steering wheel goes, for forward and reverse, AND then what wheel direction means for where I move. Also how much turn one to two turns of the steering wheels does.

[Anonymous]

I’m the OP of this thread. My dc got their driver’s license at the end of that summer! Over the years since, they’ve practiced driving independently consistently, but still have a long way to go and mostly walks and uses public transit at college.

The tips in this thread did help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still teaching my 18 yr old how to drive. Expensive lessons for years are getting us nowhere. Should I get my dc tested for learning disabilities? Before you act like an ass, my dc has pretty much every other life skill you can imagine. Dc simply cannot parallel park or drive on busy roads. Permit is about to expire for the second time (had to be renewed). Dc has not taken the driver's test yet. dc desperately wants to become a licensed driver and their quality of life has declined (We are in an area with no public transportation). What are kid's options? Any online drivers ed courses (to take again?)?

Your child can opt for a place to live / work with options. Tons of us don’t drive for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Have you had DC’s vision checked? Some people have issues with depth perception that impact their driving.

[Anonymous]

NEWS FLASH — OLD OLD THREAD

[Anonymous]

My sister had a masters in economics from a top school and is a terrible driver. Luckily she hasn’t driven in years but she should have never been given a license. She would drive 30 mph on the beltway. She would pullover on main roads because she couldn’t handle the stress. Some people shouldn’t drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am curious when you let your child sit in the front passenger seat. I let my kids sit up with me when they were 8 or 9. Now my oldest is a really good driver. I think from being up front, and sometimes being my navigator. Even my 13 year old was able to drive slowly on my in laws ranch in the spring.

I ask because my sister didn't let her kids sit up front until they were 14. By then they preferred to just keep sitting in back. Neither of her kids can drive now at 18 and 20. I think they never got exposed to driving and judging traffic. My 13 year old for years has been telling me when it is safe to merge on his side.

Ah this would be illegal in Maryland. Did you also let them try whiskey at those ages?

You revived a 3 year old thread to post that?

Anyway, congrats OP! I’m glad it worked out.

[Anonymous]

I had my last lesson with my amazing drivers ED instructor (not in DC) the day of my exam. That morning he asked what I felt least confident doing, which was parallel parking, and that is literally all we did. He showed me an amazing way to do it (finding corners of the cars in the mirrors) and literally had me do it dozens of times. If you know your kid has specific driving issues, then you focus on those issues.

As for busy roads no one loves that, but have her stay in the right hand lane (unless she needs to turn left obviously), and practice. It's not like there's a short supply of these roads in the area.

[Anonymous]

In my high school they made fake cars out of hay bales and we practiced parking among them. Yes, I'm country. But it was so helpful to be able to practice without feeling like you were going to damage anything.

[Anonymous]

I am on the spectrum and struggle with driving on highways, etc. My issue is that I cannot for the life of me predict what anyone else on the road is going to do. I have a job that I can drive to without getting on the highway. I have a car with lots of technology -- rear backup assist, parking assist and a device in my mirrors that tells me that the lane is clear before I switch lanes. I also use cruise control a good bit. We have a new subaru with the fancy cruise control that slows down if you are advancing on a car in front of you, lane assist, etc. Even so, I have gotten LOTS of tickets! And a few accidents! I have two kids on the spectrum and they both hate to drive as well.