When will you allow play dates?

[Anonymous]

I have an only child - 11 years old who FaceTimes with BFF every day. Mom reached out about a play date two weeks from now and where we live things started opening up this week. This family has followed the same protocols we have, no outside exposure besides grocery store with mask and wiping everything down after etc. Only difference is they still have their cleaning people come. I’m torn on if a play date at their pool in the backyard is foolish of me or not a big deal. This will be our new normal for at least a year IMO so do I work on this other family becoming our social cohort or should we stay isolated?

I keep thinking give it more time but now it seems like everyone is just going to let it run wild....

[Anonymous]

I will honestly type here that we had two outdoor play dates at a private pool. Saved my kids sanity. Basic play date was literally the greatest day of their life.

Same family. Both of us are following all other safety protocols.

We might do a distant lunch picnic in our yard this week. (One picnic blanket on each side of the narrow driveway)

I will hold off on further play dates for a month or so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will allow it whenever it’s allowed here.

Isn’t it technically allowed now? Social gatherings of 10 or less is allowed.

This. My kids have been playing outside and when other neighbor kids are around, I don't tell them to come inside. They not always stay 6 feet apart, but they mostly ride bikes in our cul de sac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We will not do play dates until there are very low levels of Covid in the community. Like back at February levels. Until then, zero playdates.

That is unlikely for the next many years. Are you really not going to have your kids play with other kids for years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will allow it whenever it’s allowed here.

Isn’t it technically allowed now? Social gatherings of 10 or less is allowed.

This. My kids have been playing outside and when other neighbor kids are around, I don't tell them to come inside. They not always stay 6 feet apart, but they mostly ride bikes in our cul de sac.

This is technically not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will allow it whenever it’s allowed here.

Isn’t it technically allowed now? Social gatherings of 10 or less is allowed.

This. My kids have been playing outside and when other neighbor kids are around, I don't tell them to come inside. They not always stay 6 feet apart, but they mostly ride bikes in our cul de sac.

This is technically not allowed.

uh, yes it is, freak.

[Anonymous]

Our school has a lot of walkers. I feel the kids in the school area have been playing together since school let out in March. We live in a more secluded area and our kids have no neighborhood friends. I’m relieved we have no kids in the neighborhood for my kids to be tempted with.

I plan to arrange play dates after governor lifts stay at home order.

[Anonymous]

When there's a vaccine. So 1-3 years from now? They'll deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok doing it now.

But will wait until the June 10th order is lifted

+1. Would do an outdoor playdate now if I knew any friends that also wanted to.

We’ve been doing outdoor play dates with our next door neighbors. Everyone is working from home with kids at home + wearing masks to the grocery store. I don’t post about it on Facebook or anything stupid because I don’t want comments. But we are complying with the order to limit gatherings to under 10 people and I figure it’s better to do a (relatively) low risk get together to keep our social distancing endurance up rather than strict isolation and burning out. Sort of like how people always fall off of strict diets.

Also, the funny thing is friends of mine who have been really judgy (over social media or text chains) about play dates or neighbor get togethers are the ones having their local parents/in-laws over to help with the kids. Neither we, nor our next door neighbors, have any family help. So occasionally letting our kids run around together outside basically is our “help” to get a break from our really young kids.

I think everyone should be doing the best they can to comply with doing what they need to survive and not judging others unless it’s something blatantly stupid like throwing a house party.

This seems really reasonable to me. I thought I had a similar agreement with a nearby family, but then one day the parent starts telling me they were at someone else's house earlier that morning, and oh on the way home they stopped to get coffee and browse target, so then I was like, OH we can't hang out near you anymore, bye. But if both families have the same risk tolerance and trust each other, I agree with something low risk to keep this sustainable.

We were about to do something similar with another family who claimed they were fully isolating and then realized that our definitions of that were quite different.

+++ I don't know that other families are self-isolating to the degree our family is. If another family was, I would undoubtedly join pods together. But no one we know is being as careful as we are; I know in part because we're having to be that careful because of our high-risk status.

But this is also why friends of mine are like, "I don't know how I got COVID, I've been quarantined..."

THIS. I don't trust other people. Sorry I just don't because the definitions of "oh we've just been home" vary widely. Some people mean -- we literally do not go anywhere except once in 3 weeks one adult goes to the store masked up because we can't get instacart spots; the rest of the time the kids are glued to the screens or fighting with each other but we aren't going out no matter how much they complain. And many others mean -- oh we go grocery shopping but my store didn't have my preferred cut of prime rib so then I went to grocery store #2. Then we were working on our yard and decided mulch would look nice so we went to Home Depot and since we were already there, we decided to browse inside to get ideas for our bathroom reno. And then we picked up a pizza and the kids whined for ice cream so we had to stop and get them stuff and look at that so-and-so from their 3rd grade class was there with his parents so we let the kids run around a bit while the parents chatted. Some people really think this IS staying home because all of their outings involve food but reality is there are just a LOT more outings than your family may be doing.

[Anonymous]

^Yep. Plenty of people say "oh we're staying home" and then later in conversation you find that for them that means a daily coffee run, plus kids playing with neighbor kids and no one knows whether they're keeping the 6ft distance or not once the kids are out of the parents' sight, and getting food delivered in many times a day etc. I realize food delivery etc is fine but the more you do of that type of thing the more contact you have with the world -- even with contact less delivery, your pizza didn't walk home. So that level of contact may just be more than what your family has had/decided it wants to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok doing it now.

But will wait until the June 10th order is lifted

+1. Would do an outdoor playdate now if I knew any friends that also wanted to.

We’ve been doing outdoor play dates with our next door neighbors. Everyone is working from home with kids at home + wearing masks to the grocery store. I don’t post about it on Facebook or anything stupid because I don’t want comments. But we are complying with the order to limit gatherings to under 10 people and I figure it’s better to do a (relatively) low risk get together to keep our social distancing endurance up rather than strict isolation and burning out. Sort of like how people always fall off of strict diets.

Also, the funny thing is friends of mine who have been really judgy (over social media or text chains) about play dates or neighbor get togethers are the ones having their local parents/in-laws over to help with the kids. Neither we, nor our next door neighbors, have any family help. So occasionally letting our kids run around together outside basically is our “help” to get a break from our really young kids.

I think everyone should be doing the best they can to comply with doing what they need to survive and not judging others unless it’s something blatantly stupid like throwing a house party.

This seems really reasonable to me. I thought I had a similar agreement with a nearby family, but then one day the parent starts telling me they were at someone else's house earlier that morning, and oh on the way home they stopped to get coffee and browse target, so then I was like, OH we can't hang out near you anymore, bye. But if both families have the same risk tolerance and trust each other, I agree with something low risk to keep this sustainable.

We were about to do something similar with another family who claimed they were fully isolating and then realized that our definitions of that were quite different.

+++ I don't know that other families are self-isolating to the degree our family is. If another family was, I would undoubtedly join pods together. But no one we know is being as careful as we are; I know in part because we're having to be that careful because of our high-risk status.

But this is also why friends of mine are like, "I don't know how I got COVID, I've been quarantined..."

THIS. I don't trust other people. Sorry I just don't because the definitions of "oh we've just been home" vary widely. Some people mean -- we literally do not go anywhere except once in 3 weeks one adult goes to the store masked up because we can't get instacart spots; the rest of the time the kids are glued to the screens or fighting with each other but we aren't going out no matter how much they complain. And many others mean -- oh we go grocery shopping but my store didn't have my preferred cut of prime rib so then I went to grocery store #2. Then we were working on our yard and decided mulch would look nice so we went to Home Depot and since we were already there, we decided to browse inside to get ideas for our bathroom reno. And then we picked up a pizza and the kids whined for ice cream so we had to stop and get them stuff and look at that so-and-so from their 3rd grade class was there with his parents so we let the kids run around a bit while the parents chatted. Some people really think this IS staying home because all of their outings involve food but reality is there are just a LOT more outings than your family may be doing.

Everyone has different comfort levels.

I have one friend who seems ultra strict about kids not leaving the house. Her kids are on screens all day. My friend shops often or what I consider often. I know she goes to target, Costco, wegmans, Trader Joe’s, Walmart, etc. seems like she goes a few times per week. She absolutely will not get take out.

We only get instacart deliveries. We have gotten curbside a few times. I have not been to any stores in 2 months thanks to amazon and instacart. We go on nature walks often, a few times per week in the early morning.

I personally think our walks are less risk than my friend’s frequent shopping trips. I’m sure my friend thinks we are out and about.

My friend lives in a townhouse community and has a dog so she takes walks and passes by neighbors probably. We live in a spread out neighborhood. Our kids bike often and there are no kids on our street.

At this point, I don’t care how cautious or not cautious you have been. I’m ready to socialize.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old had one outside with her school BFF. They got a little too close to each other but it was so needed. I feel comfortable with the precautions the other family is taking and felt like it was ok.

[Anonymous]

We have seen friends outdoors (i.e. have planned walks, have had a friend or two over to chat in the yard/on the sidewalk, or have walked by a friend's house where they stand on the front steps and we're on the sidewalk). My kids have probably been within 6' of other kids but not for more than 30 seconds or so.

No one outside of our family has been in our home, nor us in someone else's, since mid-March. In terms of allowing that kind of "play date," then I think next month although if things dramatically turn around in VA before then I might say earlier.

Honestly I think it is reasonable to think about allowing certain businesses to reopen (retail, for example, with limits on number of people inside at one time) and I think many outdoor activities are fine (with distancing encouraged). But the advice to "stay at home" seems to conflict with "you can go get a haircut." I wish things were A LOT clearer.

[Anonymous]

Going into someone's house/having them come to ours -- not until there's a vaccine, if ever.

Riding bikes outdoors -- once they're back in school.

Playing anything else outdoors that involves sharing -- like the same ball etc. -- not until there's a vaccine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going into someone's house/having them come to ours -- not until there's a vaccine, if ever.

Riding bikes outdoors -- once they're back in school.

Playing anything else outdoors that involves sharing -- like the same ball etc. -- not until there's a vaccine.

“If ever”? Um, okay. So, I’m guessing your not missing out on a ton of social invites so you’re prob good!