Would you let your elementary child miss baby sister’s party for friend party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. At 9 and 11 they are old enough to help. Family is important.

Help with what? Passing out cupcakes for 5 minutes of a 90 minute party? They won’t be allowed to help with the gym activities for liability reasons.

Help with whatever random crap comes up. Directing a kid to the bathrooms. Getting a straw in a juice box. Helping Dad haul all the gifts to the car. PLAYING WITH THEIR SISTER AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY. Because that's what you do for immediate family.

Have you actually been to a My Gym party?

+1. Depending on strict they are, the older kids may not even be allowed in the gym room.

No, they would allow them in. I went to my daughter’s friend 2 year old party a few years ago. The mother’s older kids (13, 15) from her first marriage was there. They just hung around and didn’t look bored at all. They were amused by their sister’s little friends.

I can’t believe OP would just have her boys sit at home!!!

I said we considered leaving our kids stay home but we decided to bring them. The sitting area is very limited at My Gym. There will only be space for the little kids to sit. My big kids will be able to sit and have pizza and cake. Many people RSVPd with both parents coming. That waiting area is going to very very tight. It is what it is.

My daughter keeps talking about her upcoming My Gym party. She is very excited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are having my 3 year old’s party at a toddler party venue. My 2 elementary boys are too old and would have to sit out and can’t participate. We considered leaving them home alone but decided to bring them.

One of our boys got invited to a birthday party that overlaps with my toddler’s party. I could drop him off and a friend could probably drop him off at our toddler party before it is over. He may or may not make it back to sing happy birthday to our 3yo.

Would you let him go to his friend’s party or sit at his sister’s party but not participate?

Why can’t you let him help out at his sister’s party?
Please stop spoiling your boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are having my 3 year old’s party at a toddler party venue. My 2 elementary boys are too old and would have to sit out and can’t participate. We considered leaving them home alone but decided to bring them.

One of our boys got invited to a birthday party that overlaps with my toddler’s party. I could drop him off and a friend could probably drop him off at our toddler party before it is over. He may or may not make it back to sing happy birthday to our 3yo.

Would you let him go to his friend’s party or sit at his sister’s party but not participate?

Why can’t you let him help out at his sister’s party?
Please stop spoiling your boy.

Oh I recognize you! You're the one who accused me of "spoiling my boy" because I wanted to provide him with a bed!

[Anonymous]

Good lord, yes! Why would you torture him in forcing him to attend his three year'old sister's party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. At 9 and 11 they are old enough to help. Family is important.

Good grief. The three-year-old won't remember or care whether older sibling was even there, much less whether sibling "helped." She will not care that he didn't make it back in time to sing Happy Birthday to her. Even when she's older, she will be more interested in her friends at her parties than her brothers.

OP, please let your older kid be with his peers at his friend's party. It will NOT damage his relationship with his little sister, nor will it turn him into a kid who thinks family is not important.

Take care that you don't expect older siblings always or often to do whatever best accommodates the youngest. That will only make them resentful of her and of you. And neither should she be dragged along to their activities or made to go to their events every time. Support each other at big events? Of course. Have to attend each others' parties only because "family is important"? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A family party that they could participate in? I'd make them decline the friend's party.

A classmate party that they cannot participate in? I'd let them miss the party.

This right here is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, I think there is differences in values. OP wasn't even planning to have her two older kids participate so that alone tells me it's not important that the siblings are there for the 3yo or not. So given OP's set of value, I say she should let her older kid do whatever.

Having said that, I would never allow my older kids to skip their sister's party, even if she's just 1yo and will never remember. The point is family comes first, boring or not! The older kid can keep themselves entertain and help out when needed.

Obviously, you think your values are far superior to OP's.

OP, ignore this kind of arrogance. On these threads, "family first" is frequently a self-righteous code for "I'm better than you are" and is usually followed by the kind of implicit judging you see above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. At 9 and 11 they are old enough to help. Family is important.

Help with what? Passing out cupcakes for 5 minutes of a 90 minute party? They won’t be allowed to help with the gym activities for liability reasons.

Help with whatever random crap comes up. Directing a kid to the bathrooms. Getting a straw in a juice box. Helping Dad haul all the gifts to the car. PLAYING WITH THEIR SISTER AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY. Because that's what you do for immediate family.

Have you actually been to a My Gym party?

+1. Depending on strict they are, the older kids may not even be allowed in the gym room.

No, they would allow them in. I went to my daughter’s friend 2 year old party a few years ago. The mother’s older kids (13, 15) from her first marriage was there. They just hung around and didn’t look bored at all. They were amused by their sister’s little friends.

I can’t believe OP would just have her boys sit at home!!!

I said we considered leaving our kids stay home but we decided to bring them. The sitting area is very limited at My Gym. There will only be space for the little kids to sit. My big kids will be able to sit and have pizza and cake. Many people RSVPd with both parents coming. That waiting area is going to very very tight. It is what it is.

My daughter keeps talking about her upcoming My Gym party. She is very excited.

OK this is a separate issue but I am really surprised that people are RSVPing that both parents are coming. I can think of WAY better things to do with 2 hours than stand around at a 3 year old party with loads of supervision/directed activity. Unless my husband and I were really good friends with all the other parents. What a pain for the hosts to keep track of so many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. At 9 and 11 they are old enough to help. Family is important.

Help with what? Passing out cupcakes for 5 minutes of a 90 minute party? They won’t be allowed to help with the gym activities for liability reasons.

Help with whatever random crap comes up. Directing a kid to the bathrooms. Getting a straw in a juice box. Helping Dad haul all the gifts to the car. PLAYING WITH THEIR SISTER AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY. Because that's what you do for immediate family.

Have you actually been to a My Gym party?

+1. Depending on strict they are, the older kids may not even be allowed in the gym room.

No, they would allow them in. I went to my daughter’s friend 2 year old party a few years ago. The mother’s older kids (13, 15) from her first marriage was there. They just hung around and didn’t look bored at all. They were amused by their sister’s little friends.

I can’t believe OP would just have her boys sit at home!!!

9 and 11 year old boys aren’t going to have fun hanging around. And that location may have allowed it, but most don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me. It’s more important for me that my son celebrates his sister’s birthday than to go to another friend’s bday, even if it’s more fun. I also feel it’s a teachable moment that family comes first.

I agree IF the party was at the OP's house. It's at My Gym so the older brothers are already naturally excluded from most of the activities because of their age. This is the same thing that would happen if the older brother wanted a paintball party with his friends. The 3 yo wouldn't be going to that party either, because her age would exclude her. I think it's OK for the brother to miss because of the venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me. It’s more important for me that my son celebrates his sister’s birthday than to go to another friend’s bday, even if it’s more fun. I also feel it’s a teachable moment that family comes first.

I agree IF the party was at the OP's house. It's at My Gym so the older brothers are already naturally excluded from most of the activities because of their age. This is the same thing that would happen if the older brother wanted a paintball party with his friends. The 3 yo wouldn't be going to that party either, because her age would exclude her. I think it's OK for the brother to miss because of the venue.

Op here. Since almost 3yo was born, we have hosted at home and venue parties for the boys. Last year, we purposely hosted their parties during her nap time so we could leave her home.

The boys’ birthdays are coming up and doubtful it will be a party she will attend. Last year, we had a laser tag party at the house for one of the boys when she was napping. She woke up in time for cake. If she was awake, she would have gotten in the way and potentially gotten trampled on.