Would you let your elementary child miss baby sister’s party for friend party?

[Anonymous]

Is the 3 year old from a second marriage?

I ask because it seems like you are very focused on them being there when they don't need to be at all. The average sibling isn't forced to attend an event they can't participate in.

[Anonymous]

Yes, older child will just be bored and in the way at a toddler venue with a bunch of toddlers. If it was just a family only party at home, I would keep them at home. But for a bunch of toddlers? Let the kid go to the friend party.

[Anonymous]

Of course!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are having my 3 year old’s party at a toddler party venue. My 2 elementary boys are too old and would have to sit out and can’t participate. We considered leaving them home alone but decided to bring them.

One of our boys got invited to a birthday party that overlaps with my toddler’s party. I could drop him off and a friend could probably drop him off at our toddler party before it is over. He may or may not make it back to sing happy birthday to our 3yo.

Would you let him go to his friend’s party or sit at his sister’s party but not participate?

Why are you having your child’s birthday somewhere that the other two CAN’T participate? If this is legit, mom goes solo with preschooler to this little kid party, dad takes older kid and drops off at the friend party, goes and has froyo with other elementary boy, picks up boy from the party, then they go home. Have cake with ice cream on the actual birthday (day after, if the party is on the birthday).

Do you not understand that little kids have parties to celebrate with their preschool friends on a weekend a week or two before or after their birthdays, and that OP and family are probably celebrating the 3 year old's party at home on her actual birthday?

[Anonymous]

No 3 year old "needs" to "celebrate" with 3 year old friends; they don't care and probably won't remember it. The older kid does not need to be there, and will remember being forced; the only place he needs to be is at the family celebration of the birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the 3 year old from a second marriage?

I ask because it seems like you are very focused on them being there when they don't need to be at all. The average sibling isn't forced to attend an event they can't participate in.

Good observation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the 3 year old from a second marriage?

I ask because it seems like you are very focused on them being there when they don't need to be at all. The average sibling isn't forced to attend an event they can't participate in.

Good observation

Not a second marriage! We just have a big gap between the 2nd and 3rd. We originally thought we were done after 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

If it was mostly a family party - then no, they cannot miss. Sorry, in this case, they should be happy to attend, and not consider a party a "burden".

But this sounds like baby sister's friends party- so yes, they can miss and do something fun.

[Anonymous]

A family party that they could participate in? I'd make them decline the friend's party.

A classmate party that they cannot participate in? I'd let them miss the party.

[Anonymous]

Weird that you would even ask. I would try to arrange a playdate for your other son too.

[Anonymous]

Of course I’d let him go to the other party. He’d be bored to tears at his sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A family party that they could participate in? I'd make them decline the friend's party.

A classmate party that they cannot participate in? I'd let them miss the party.

Agree.

And for the posters saying OP shouldn't even ask; stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, I think there is differences in values. OP wasn't even planning to have her two older kids participate so that alone tells me it's not important that the siblings are there for the 3yo or not. So given OP's set of value, I say she should let her older kid do whatever.

Having said that, I would never allow my older kids to skip their sister's party, even if she's just 1yo and will never remember. The point is family comes first, boring or not! The older kid can keep themselves entertain and help out when needed.

Dangerous game, family as punishment. Play at your own peril.

+1

What a way to turn your little sister into a burden!

-first born child

+1, also first born child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My instinct after reading your subject, was NO. But after reading your post, i see now that they would stay home anyway. So, yes, I would let him.

I actually asked the boys their opinion about the party. Both boys said it would be better to do a party with her friends at My Gym. She loves My Gym.

For the past two years, we had house parties with OUR friends and mostly the boys’ friends.

My boys are sweet boys. They have parties for themselves and their friends so I think they thought she should have a party with her friends, not a party for them.

It is sweet that they are thinking of what she'd enjoy most, and I'm sure they are right. She'll have a blast, and, as others have said, there would be nothing for them to do there other than watch small children run around from behind a barrier. I wouldn't hesitate to let both boys do their own thing. As I'm sure you know, anyone on here who claims you'd be teaching your boys that their sister is a burden is a straight up moron. That's not how family dynamics work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. At 9 and 11 they are old enough to help. Family is important.

Help with what? Passing out cupcakes for 5 minutes of a 90 minute party? They won’t be allowed to help with the gym activities for liability reasons.

Help with whatever random crap comes up. Directing a kid to the bathrooms. Getting a straw in a juice box. Helping Dad haul all the gifts to the car. PLAYING WITH THEIR SISTER AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY. Because that's what you do for immediate family.

Have you actually been to a My Gym party?

+1. Depending on strict they are, the older kids may not even be allowed in the gym room.

No, they would allow them in. I went to my daughter’s friend 2 year old party a few years ago. The mother’s older kids (13, 15) from her first marriage was there. They just hung around and didn’t look bored at all. They were amused by their sister’s little friends.

I can’t believe OP would just have her boys sit at home!!!