Whats the thing you’ve changed about yourself that had a positive impact on your marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this will sound terrible but here goes.....from my late dear father I had "inherited" fatty bags under my eyes and a turkey neck and what I saw in the mirror depressed me so I had them taken care of. I felt so much better about myself and that had a positive effect on our marriage. I'm sure my husband would have liked for me to have had a boob job but that wasn't going to happen!

Doesn't sound terrible at all! It's your body, good for you for doing what makes you happy. You only live once.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this. I needed to read so many of these comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

21.32 here: To add this is actually really important. I have done this as well. Anything goes (minus other people) and it's been a great impact.

+1
Men feel desired, loved and cherished when their wives love having sex with them. To be sexually adventurous with your DH does mean that you actually like him very much and he makes you happy.

(However, I am not sure if this is a tip that is easily transferable in all situations? Can you really "fake it till you make it" in sex, if you are not satisfied? You really need to have two things going for you in the bedroom. First, you need extremely frank and open communication with each other regarding sexual needs, urges, fantasies, boundaries, and second ,you both need to be egoless when trying to find solutions. All of this comes within a solid marriage. I do think it elevates a solid, good marriage into a phenomenal one!)

[Anonymous]

I try to be less self-centered and more pro-active in making my wife and kids happy. I grew up in a family that basically left me alone. Simply not getting in people's way was my idea of good family behavior. There was a fair amount of anger and tension growing up, so I'm really good at being aware of people's thoughts and emotions -- but mainly as a tool for avoiding conflict.

So, my default approach to family life has been more about taking care of my own responsibilities and not interfering with other people's ability to take care of theirs. That's not a horrible starting point as far as being a husband and parent goes, but it's not quite enough. I'm trying to be more mindful about how to actually make their days better and making a point to initiate interactions with warmth and affection.

[Anonymous]

The WSJ has an article last weekend about negative vs positive interactions. The authors noted that people in happy marriages accept each other and pull together. For example, when your partner makes a mistake, don’t berate them or act put out. Instead, you work together to fix it, without negative judgments. It’s all about accepting each other as you are.

Another thing I’ve learned is how to meet my DH’s needs. Not what I think are his needs, but what he actually needs. I thought my DH needed me to be the hyper competent independent woman that I have always been. But it turns out that he likes to feel needed for emotional support. Once I learned how to rely on him more, he felt happier. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I finally buckled down at the beginning of 2019 and lost the 30 pounds that had crept up over the last decade. I feel a lot more confident and DH is visibly happier though the poor guy never said anything before.

Because we know that we can’t say anything. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gave up my ass, it was a game changer.

+1000!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not looking to him to supply all my needs. I met a great older lady at work who told me that her husband hated to travel and she loved it so she basically teamed up with another lady friend and off they went! They've been all over the world.

I was complaining to my bunco club friends about how my husband hates cruises and two other women were like "oh, my husband hates cruises too" so guess where we're going? So glad my older colleague inspired me in this way!

Just be sure that you don’t get caught up in your new found temporary freedom on the cruise. In other words, keep your pants on!

[Anonymous]

I have been happily married for 33 years. In our first year of marriage we had several arguments as many newly married couples do.

I tend to be articulate and most able to 'win' any type of verbal argument. In our first year of marriage, my DH would get so frustrated with my quick, mean verbal statements that he would resort to throwing things, etc...

I decided that I would no longer use my ability to cut him down verbally when I was angry. It accomplished nothing. Instead when we argue I would focus on the issue and not default to being a witch.

Feel as if this post is not that articulate. Haha. What can I say; I'm old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

how does one become more sexually adventurous without being kinky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

how does one become more sexually adventurous without being kinky?

Easy - new positions, new locations, role playing, the list goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

how does one become more sexually adventurous without being kinky?

Easy - new positions, new locations, role playing, the list goes on.

Probably just depends on one's definition of "kink." The broader the definition, the harder it is to do anything other than missionary in the bedroom at bedtime with the lights off without being "kinky."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

how does one become more sexually adventurous without being kinky?

Easy - new positions, new locations, role playing, the list goes on.

Probably just depends on one's definition of "kink." The broader the definition, the harder it is to do anything other than missionary in the bedroom at bedtime with the lights off without being "kinky."

Think lingerie, toys, watching videos with kink together

[Anonymous]

Family first, me last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became more sexually adventurous (not kinky or swapping) and it had a very positive impact. I also found I really enjoyed it!

how does one become more sexually adventurous without being kinky?

Easy - new positions, new locations, role playing, the list goes on.

Probably just depends on one's definition of "kink." The broader the definition, the harder it is to do anything other than missionary in the bedroom at bedtime with the lights off without being "kinky."

Think lingerie, toys, watching videos with kink together

Sadly, my husband just read that reverse cowgirl is a leading cause of fractured penises. His only comment was “ouch!” And mine was “damn!”.