St. Albans and working moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Earlier poster and later poster: You're both over-conflating feminist theory and social justice/poverty theory. Are there intersections between the two? Yes. But at bottom, the choice you lambaste is largely a wealth disparity/social justice issue. Choice to take a chance on a risky venture. to change a job. To take time off. To explore a passion. To start a business and fail. To take more vacations. To take more flexible hours. When those "choices" overlap with feminist issues, it isn't coming from the presence or absence of choice as determined by wealth, it's coming from the persistence of a reality that women still do the lion's share of "home" and "family" work--no matter how lucrative or exciting or beloved their careers. If men and women equally took on those burdens, you would no longer call the choice to stay at home or not a feminist issue. You would call it a wealth issue/poverty issue. That's because, principally, it is.

I'm not saying all is equal. Wealth disparity disproportionately affects women. Many, perhaps most, feminist issues disproportionately affect poorer women. No doubt poor women typically getting the very worst of both gender problems and problems of poverty. That reality, however, doesn't transform primarily economic problems into primarily feminist ones; further, a wealthier woman's access to certain choices because of her economic status does not transform her, if a feminist, into a non-feminist on that basis. Indeed, poverty and lack of choice about childcare does not transform a non-feminist into a feminist either. Maybe a woman is a feminist, maybe she isn't, but the poverty and wealth issue won't answer that question, no matter how hard you try to make it do so.

It's especially rich to hate on women with "choices" when you face the reality that the "choices" many wealthier women make are frequently the result of the very conditions feminists of all economic stripes would like to see improved--equal pay for women, safe/non-harassing workplaces, paid maternity leave/family leave, gender equality (particularly at home), etc. Honestly, this scorched earth approach to any woman who isn't living your definition of a feminist is approaching a level of moral superiority reminiscent of the ideologically opposed confinement--but confinement nonetheless--of the cult of true womanhood and other such anti-feminist nonsense.

So by all means, pp's, fight gender inequality. Fight wealth inequality. Fight it all. But keep things straight. And maybe, just maybe, try to be a little more supportive of fellow women.

(and just in case you care, I work full time. No I do not have to. I am a feminist. No, my choice to work when I don't have to does not make me a feminist).

Hey privileged white woman, every heard of intersectionality? Feminist theory is inseparable from economics and race. Black women and women of color (do you SEE of all the Central American and Philippine nannies in the area watching white babies?) have long, long supported the domestic lives of wealthier white women. So when you ask people to "be a little more supportive of fellow women" who do you have in mind exactly? And from which lofty perch do you speak?

I avoided the word intersectionality as it is so overused and over-applied that it is basically meaningless. So yes I’ve heard of it. And yes I still disagree with you.

My life is none of your business, but nothing about my life, or its perch, has a history of loftiness. I just think you’re wrong is all.

[Anonymous]

To answer the posted question, I am an STA working mom and have been for ages. You might not know that because I have an extremely senior position in a business casual environment, so I look very nicely put together on the rare occasions when I am at school, but you wouldn't think I was going to an office even though I am. I dress very traditionally and can easily pass for a pearl-clutching republican stereotype, but I'm actually an extremely liberal democrat. There are lot of other working moms at STA but you wouldn't know to look at us (as well as democrats and never trumper liberal republican types who just hate taxes). I feel extremely comfortable at STA, have made many other friends there, and like the fact that my son is very proud of my job.

[Anonymous]

The point of this post is not about St Albans. It's not about working mothers. It's only a pathetic attempt to troll liberals by pointing out the supposed hypocrisy of liberal women deciding not to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I think some people on here are angry they have to work today. I love not working and my only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner! I actually have time now for me and finally have time to do all of my favorite things and spend stress free time with my kids. How sad that you consider spending time with your kids as free labor. That’s the problem right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I think some people on here are angry they have to work today. I love not working and my only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner! I actually have time now for me and finally have time to do all of my favorite things and spend stress free time with my kids. How sad that you consider spending time with your kids as free labor. That’s the problem right there.

Oh please I'm not the pp to whom you refer but she never said staying home with your kids was free labor. I work, I get to help a lot of people, I'm setting a great example for my children, and I know that should something happen to my husband I can support my kids because I'm self sufficient. I also spend a ton or time with my kids, manage the entire household, have minimal help, and love every minute of my "domestic" duties. Some stay at home moms volunteer and are truly selfless. The issue is that a lot are not and are rife with narcissism. Way to many people think of only of themselves. How wonderful to do all of your"favorite things" and spend stress free time with your children. What are you teaching them? Are they going to be able to deal with the normal wear and tear of life? What will their beliefs be about men and women in the workforce? Will your daughter expect to be taken care of? Will your son believe that he must be the primary bread winner? Staying at home isn't evil and neither is being a working mom but the stay at home moms with older kids and full time help who seem to do very little with their children certainly perpetuate a stereo type. I always find it ironic the moms who have the most girl trips are the ones who don't work. It's like they can't away from the kids fast enough. Because of my flexible schedule I spend a lot of time with my children but because I work I also want to be with them every minute I can. It's a personal choice, but I've turned down many a girls trip to be with my family. It just seems like the stay at home moms who are so happy try very hard to fill a void by doing things that take them away from their kids.

[Anonymous]

This thread is nothing more than "The people who choose to live their life in a way that I would not are terrible people" over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I think some people on here are angry they have to work today. I love not working and my only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner! I actually have time now for me and finally have time to do all of my favorite things and spend stress free time with my kids. How sad that you consider spending time with your kids as free labor. That’s the problem right there.

That’s great you’re happy. But again, you’re NOT helping women by staying home and enabling the patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I think some people on here are angry they have to work today. I love not working and my only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner! I actually have time now for me and finally have time to do all of my favorite things and spend stress free time with my kids. How sad that you consider spending time with your kids as free labor. That’s the problem right there.

That’s great you’re happy. But again, you’re NOT helping women by staying home and enabling the patriarchy.

And you're not helping your cause acting like a shrewish know-it-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

If this is true, then it makes sense that they would be more likely to prescribe to more traditional gender roles than some other schools.

How silly. True feminism is when women have the CHOICE to work or not work and can choose what is best for them without feeling societal pressures one way or the other. Get with the times. I have done both and now choose not to work and I am liberal and educated.

Wrong. Women providing unpaid labor to men does NOT support women. It continues to enable the patriarchy to rely on women’s unpaid labor to advance their own agenda.

THANK YOU.

And can we please stop acting like “managing the household” is a thing? It’s just .... living. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

I think some people on here are angry they have to work today. I love not working and my only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner! I actually have time now for me and finally have time to do all of my favorite things and spend stress free time with my kids. How sad that you consider spending time with your kids as free labor. That’s the problem right there.

That’s great you’re happy. But again, you’re NOT helping women by staying home and enabling the patriarchy.

Whoa. So now women are supposed to do what you tell them rather than what the patriarchy tells them? Why do you get to tell them what to do?

[Anonymous]

This argument, taking place on the DCUM Private Schools forum, is so far from the reality of the majority of women in the US and the world as to be laughable. The vast majority of you choose to raise your children in a bubble, esp those sending their sons to STA. it is laughable that you are even having this discussion with straight faces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This argument, taking place on the DCUM Private Schools forum, is so far from the reality of the majority of women in the US and the world as to be laughable. The vast majority of you choose to raise your children in a bubble, esp those sending their sons to STA. it is laughable that you are even having this discussion with straight faces.

+ a million
Although I have to say, it is certainly entertaining!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of St. Albans mom work? It seems like once women hit their mid-30's at all the area private schools. many choose to stay home. That's always surprising to me considering how many extremely well educated and liberal moms are at these schools.

Well your premise is in incorrect. St. Albans is not mostly liberal moms. It is mostly republicans in my two sons grades. The administration and Cathedral may be more liberal leaning but the current parents and boys are not. NCS, Sidwell, Holton, and GDS are where you will find more liberal moms.

This may be your experience, and I have no doubt you are relaying your experience, but it is not my experience nor my son's. We have found that there is a small, albeit vocal, minority of hard-core Republicans, and within that some Trump supporters as well as some never-Trumpers. These families often live in NoVA. Overall, however, here are far more moderate and liberal-leaning boys and families (often socially liberal but fiscally conservative). I would agree that there are few hard-core liberals at STA but the majority of families are liberal-leaning moderates. I also do agree there are more girls at NCS who are truly liberal.

If your son is in the upper school, suggest he join Gov Club. Gov Club is co-ed and gives the best snap-shot into the political disposition of the Close high school students as it requires the kids (so both STA and NCS here) declare their political affiliation. I can tell you that the liberal, Democrats camp is always much larger than the conservative group, and its not just NCS girls. There have even been instances when the "Republican/conservative group" has had to ask some "independents" (or kids who move back and forth based on issues) to stand with them to even out numbers for various exercises.

Too often people presume that the Cathedral schools have a majority of conservative families based only on appearances. This is not a good way to judge anyone's political affiliation. In Washington at least, preppy does not equal conservative.

But aren't you talking of the kids here and not the parents (OP's focus)?

Most teens I know have very strong views of their own and may not necessarily fall on the same end of the political spectrum of their parents (in fact, may purposely advocate the other side for the sake of it!!)

I have to say, the rebellious teenager type is mostly a Hollywood-trope, at least in this example. I really don't see teens around here, at least in the private school world of DC, "rebelling" or purposely advocating against their parents' choices just for the sake of it. And certainly not about politics of all things. It was the same where/when I was a teen. Rebelling for UMC teens mostly consists of doing things your parenst wouldn't approve of like drinking or having sex. The image of a politically rebellious teen espousing liberal values in defiance of his conservative parents is a vastly romanticized view of teenagers that just isn't reality. Besides, most teens I know, including mine, may sometimes be difficult, obnoxious teenagers, but they aren't actually rebellious. Most of them get that they are pretty damn fortunate to have the lives they have and want similar futures for themselves.

So, short answer, no. The kids political leanings tend to be very similar to their parent's positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, taking place on the DCUM Private Schools forum, is so far from the reality of the majority of women in the US and the world as to be laughable. The vast majority of you choose to raise your children in a bubble, esp those sending their sons to STA. it is laughable that you are even having this discussion with straight faces.

+ a million
Although I have to say, it is certainly entertaining!

ROTFLMAO