I miss being young so damn much

[Anonymous]

I look back fondly at my many many adventures from my 20s - but jesus, I was so depressed, so much of the time. I really did a lot of cool stuff, and I was also so unhappy.

My life is quieter now, and I am 10 pounds heavier than I was then, but holy heck am I happier. (Not that I don't go through bouts of anxiety and depression now, too, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was then.)

I wonder if some of it is that I (thank gd) still have my parents - but also never had kids. So I have almost as much freedom and have not yet (again, thank gd) started to experience the losses that come with aging.

[Anonymous]

I'm 41 and I miss being in my 20s too. Mainly because back then, every single door is still open. You can choose a career, change paths easily, go to graduate school, go to a second graduate school, decide what city to live in, etc. As you get older, more and more doors close. You settle down in one area and then can't leave because your spouse has a great job and won't get as great a job anywhere else, etc.

I also miss the excitement of my 20s and early 30s because everything was new and exciting. I still remember moving to the big city at 23 and how incredibly exciting that was. And how exciting it was to buy our first house. And how exciting it was to be pregnant, etc.

I also miss being able to look good with practically no work. Now I have to color my hair to hide the gray, have to put on makeup or I look old and tired, etc.

I do like the feeling of being settled, having wisdom, making much better decision overall, having a good career, and the contentment of family. I also have a much better social life (female friends) now in my 40s than I ever did in my 20s and 30s.

[Anonymous]

I spent my 20s with an abusive a-hole.
Much happier now!

[Anonymous]

Tell me about it. I teach high school. Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of how I didn't appreciate my youth. What I wouldn't give to have some 18 year old knees again. You wouldn't be able to keep me still.

[Anonymous]

OP, change your perspective. I am 47, and I am still having as much fun as I did in my 20's and 30's. The world has always looked like a giant playground to me, and it still does. Today I walked to the park with my youngest son (youngest of six) and we had a great day swinging and talking. At one point I looked over at him, he was so happy and laughing, and I thought "Four more years. I have four years to enjoy my time with my last little boy." And the sun was so bright, the sky was so blue, and I felt just as young today as I did a decade ago, at a different park with three other teenage boys of mine who are now men. Perspective is everything. Age, to me, just means that I have many experiences to draw on when my kids need advice. I still ride motorcycles, climb trees, look for tarantulas with my son....I truly enjoy every moment of my life, at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:47 years old and I have to admit, I miss my youth. And by youth I mean those glorious years between 18-25 when everything is so much fun. My life now is fine, I have a great husband, kids, job that I'm satisfied with, hobbies. But nothing beats the absolute effortless, goofy, silly FUN you have in your late teens/early 20's . It's so sad that such a magical stage passes so early in life. Sorry for being a Debbie Downer, not really looking for any advice just need to get it off my chest.

Fun times, for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, change your perspective. I am 47, and I am still having as much fun as I did in my 20's and 30's. The world has always looked like a giant playground to me, and it still does. Today I walked to the park with my youngest son (youngest of six) and we had a great day swinging and talking. At one point I looked over at him, he was so happy and laughing, and I thought "Four more years. I have four years to enjoy my time with my last little boy." And the sun was so bright, the sky was so blue, and I felt just as young today as I did a decade ago, at a different park with three other teenage boys of mine who are now men. Perspective is everything. Age, to me, just means that I have many experiences to draw on when my kids need advice. I still ride motorcycles, climb trees, look for tarantulas with my son....I truly enjoy every moment of my life, at any age.

You have SIX kids? Hope some are step maybe? That's a lot of wear and tear.

[Anonymous]

I am about to turn 40, and I was talking with my husband about how much has changed since the last milestone birthday party - 30. The constant was how happy we are at this stage in our lives. We've been together since our early 20s, when we met as bartenders (our second jobs to help us survive DC with our paltry Hill salaries). We now have three children, great jobs, and amazing lives. I loved my 20s and 30s to be sure, but I'm honestly looking forward to my 40s even more. One regret: I didn't worry enough about skincare!! Otherwise, I'm probably in better physical shape now than I was then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss my joints not hurting, but I don’t miss many other things.

I agree. I'd like to have the knees and back of my youth, but otherwise I'm good with where I am. There is good and bad about each life stage and I just try to enjoy what I have.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised how many others said their early 20’s sucked - I’m the poster that said that on the first page. I was in an abusive relationship with what I would describe as a narcissist with borderline personality disorder that was constantly passive-aggressive and codependent. By my late 20’s and 30’s things had turned around and life was/is good. I was miserable in my early 20’s.

[Anonymous]

I miss that window of time when the possibilities seemed endless. Once you're in your 40's, your path is pretty much set until you get close to retirement. Plus having kids and a mortgage can make you feel kind of trapped at times because there's just so much adulting all the time to keep your life on track.

Related to that, I miss being more easily hireable. Once you get to a certain level of salary and job and you're in a niche, your options get limited. Plus if you own a place and have kids in school, you are generally looking in a narrower geographic area for jobs, which can limit things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a child in my mid-twenties so I’d have some time to do what I wanted after she left home. The care-free life of travel and fun is just around the bend for me.

Yeah, but being care free and traveling isn't anywhere near as fun at 40 as it is at 20. It's a mind-set that just can't come back.

This. It's very different when the whole world is built for single people in their 20's - early 30's to have fun. Everywhere you turn there are people your age having the same collective carefree experience. I hope I still have some wonderful times ahead of me, but I know it will never be like it was when we were all young.

[Anonymous]

Hell to the no. I enjoy having money and being more confident now.

[Anonymous]

Huh that's interesting. I'm 10 years younger than you so I can't say how my 40s will go. But so far my thirties have been the best decade of my life!

Mostly because we have more money to do fun things with. I was totally broke in my early twenties. Not fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss that window of time when the possibilities seemed endless. Once you're in your 40's, your path is pretty much set until you get close to retirement. Plus having kids and a mortgage can make you feel kind of trapped at times because there's just so much adulting all the time to keep your life on track.

Related to that, I miss being more easily hireable. Once you get to a certain level of salary and job and you're in a niche, your options get limited. Plus if you own a place and have kids in school, you are generally looking in a narrower geographic area for jobs, which can limit things.

This is so true. I'm sucking it up to keep my soul-crushing job that has a good salary, family-friendly work hours, and reasonable commute. There's no way 20-something-year-old me would have stayed at this hostile workplace.