Anyone regret sending their teen to inpatient rehab.

[goodronnypo]

Sadly, we are not insured from people with mental problems in society. You can meet them even in medical staff where people should be professional. So it's better to find out about a clinic or a rehab before sending there a person with addiction. I know what I am talking about because I had to experience few rehabs. My son got drug addicted about three years ago. Classic situation he got in a wrong company. Okay, he shared that with me and I was shocked but first thing that came into my mind was rehab. I told my son "Look, we will go through that but without your will and intention it will be very hard to get rid of your addiction. So first local rehab we tried I didn't like at all. Too much pills, not enough attention. So I changed the rehab to another one. This rehab is totally different. After few months my son has changed a lot. He got rid out of drug addiction and got stronger mentally. I am very thankful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In patient rehabs and therapeutic boarding schools are most usually a bad choice parents with money make out of desperation. I am not saying it might not work in a few cases, but I don't know of any. The least best outcomes I have seen come out of kids taken away in the middle of the night and put in wilderness camps. Usually on the advice of a consultant.

Dealing with a teen with problems large enough to consider these options is very hard work. It seems so much easier to outsource it to these places. But I firmly believe that having the family committed to having their child overcome the issues in a firm and kind, non-tough love way at home produces far better outcomes.

If you are lucky enough to have a trusted family member the child likes be in a position to take on your teen, that could work as well.

I tend to agree with this and we are in thick of it right now with way too much weed. But I admit I’ve been tempted to outsource for awhile to at least get a break

Same with us. What are you doing? My son is 17 it’s gotten ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In patient rehabs and therapeutic boarding schools are most usually a bad choice parents with money make out of desperation. I am not saying it might not work in a few cases, but I don't know of any. The least best outcomes I have seen come out of kids taken away in the middle of the night and put in wilderness camps. Usually on the advice of a consultant.

Dealing with a teen with problems large enough to consider these options is very hard work. It seems so much easier to outsource it to these places. But I firmly believe that having the family committed to having their child overcome the issues in a firm and kind, non-tough love way at home produces far better outcomes.

If you are lucky enough to have a trusted family member the child likes be in a position to take on your teen, that could work as well.

Honestly, as someone who works with at risk kids, addiction and risky behavior is a nature/nurture issue where nurture is the most formative influence on what is happening with the child. Families and parents are almost always the biggest component (90%) of the problem for children with addiction and/or high-risk behaviors. Nature (i.e., heredity) is a small component but it is far out-weighed by nurture.

Oh boy. I have a kid who struggles with substance use. We were abs continue to be very loving abs supportive parents. We were involved, authoritative not authoritarian, we are great listeners our kids are close to us. We got therapy when needed, we screened for learning differences, we treated ADhD, we engaged coaches, teachers and others to help our kid who had always struggled. There’s a lot of addiction in my family. I was very aware and constantly got expert advice, read a ton etc. he still went down this path. It’s heartbreaking.

Keeping a child in a system that is broken will only work if the entire system works to fix the system's problem/s. That means Mom, Dad, Sister/s, Brother/s, and kid all work together on the issues. Most parents and families are not either willing or able to do the heavy lifting required. Unfortunately this also means that when the child returns to the original environment failure is almost all but assured because the root causes haven't been fixed and the system that reinforces the problem is still in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In patient rehabs and therapeutic boarding schools are most usually a bad choice parents with money make out of desperation. I am not saying it might not work in a few cases, but I don't know of any. The least best outcomes I have seen come out of kids taken away in the middle of the night and put in wilderness camps. Usually on the advice of a consultant.

Dealing with a teen with problems large enough to consider these options is very hard work. It seems so much easier to outsource it to these places. But I firmly believe that having the family committed to having their child overcome the issues in a firm and kind, non-tough love way at home produces far better outcomes.

If you are lucky enough to have a trusted family member the child likes be in a position to take on your teen, that could work as well.

Honestly, as someone who works with at risk kids, addiction and risky behavior is a nature/nurture issue where nurture is the most formative influence on what is happening with the child. Families and parents are almost always the biggest component (90%) of the problem for children with addiction and/or high-risk behaviors. Nature (i.e., heredity) is a small component but it is far out-weighed by nurture.

Keeping a child in a system that is broken will only work if the entire system works to fix the system's problem/s. That means Mom, Dad, Sister/s, Brother/s, and kid all work together on the issues. Most parents and families are not either willing or able to do the heavy lifting required. Unfortunately this also means that when the child returns to the original environment failure is almost all but assured because the root causes haven't been fixed and the system that reinforces the problem is still in place.

To the previous poster that works with kids

Oh boy. I have a kid who struggles with substance use. We were abs continue to be very loving abs supportive parents. We were involved, authoritative not authoritarian, we are great listeners our kids are close to us. We got therapy when needed, we screened for learning differences, we treated ADhD, we engaged coaches, teachers and others to help our kid who had always struggled. There’s a lot of addiction in my family. I was very aware and constantly got expert advice, read a ton etc. he still went down this path. It’s heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

We had an EXTREMELY mixed experience w our 17yo (at the time). She met a fellow patient and ran off w him and got pregnant. But then when she had the baby she used what she learned in the program to get clean and is now doing great (mentally) and is a fabulous mom. However it’s been the worst six years of my life.

[Anonymous]

There are great programs that exist to deal with this, but you need an expert to help you navigate that world. You should call Patty or Jacy at Life Compass Partners and work with them. They are amazing. If you afford to take serious action, you can really help your kid in the short term. Problems like these can last years and tear your family apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In patient rehabs and therapeutic boarding schools are most usually a bad choice parents with money make out of desperation. I am not saying it might not work in a few cases, but I don't know of any. The least best outcomes I have seen come out of kids taken away in the middle of the night and put in wilderness camps. Usually on the advice of a consultant.

Dealing with a teen with problems large enough to consider these options is very hard work. It seems so much easier to outsource it to these places. But I firmly believe that having the family committed to having their child overcome the issues in a firm and kind, non-tough love way at home produces far better outcomes.

If you are lucky enough to have a trusted family member the child likes be in a position to take on your teen, that could work as well.

I tend to agree with this and we are in thick of it right now with way too much weed. But I admit I’ve been tempted to outsource for awhile to at least get a break

Same with us. What are you doing? My son is 17 it’s gotten ridiculous.

People who hire transport to get their kids to a place that can help them are usually desperate - often with a suicidal kid. Hopefully you never have to be in such a tough situation. Try not to judge or generalize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask a lot of questions about whether the teen will be exposed to even more harmful activities.

I think so.

My daughter spent a week in a psychiatric facility and when she first came out she said a lot of the group counseling didn’t apply to her such as how to deal with nightmares. Before going to the facility she never had nightmares. In the two months she has been back she has had nightmares almost nightly.

I firmly believe that many psychiatric conditions are somewhat “contagious”. Meaning that if the person had never heard of it before, it wouldn’t have happened. I really believe that hearing about how common it is for depressed people to have nightmares, somehow got into my daughter’s subconscious and is the reason the nightmares started occurring.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone used sandstone locally for outpatient or turn bridge for residential? It is very hard indeed to figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are great programs that exist to deal with this, but you need an expert to help you navigate that world. You should call Patty or Jacy at Life Compass Partners and work with them. They are amazing. If you afford to take serious action, you can really help your kid in the short term. Problems like these can last years and tear your family apart.

YES 100 times YES. Call Life Compass Partners.....Patti and Jacy know their stuff. Some kids with substance abuse need wilderness......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to inpatient rehab for an ED 3 times between 2000-2008. The first few times, I had zero interest in getting help. Like with most people struggling with an addiction, I was a very good manipulator. I knew exactly what to say and do to make everyone think I was getting better. But really, I was learning new tricks and new ways to keep up with my ED without anyone knowing. The last time I wanted to get help and it worked. That seemed to line up with most people there. Rehab only sticks if you want it to AND if you make the changes outside of rehab. This may mean cutting off friends, quitting an activity , etc.

I don't think inpatient rehab is bad, it can definitely be effective. But if the person isn't open to it, it's a gigantic waste of money

Did the fact that it was your third time make it better? In other words, was there a cumulative benefit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any friends of the family in longterm recovery?

If so I'd see if teen wants to go with family friend to some
local AA meetings.

For teen girl I'd recommend womens AA meetings only.

There are also local outpatient recovery programs.
Teen works or goes to school during the day. In the
evening teen has 4-5 hours of meetings in the evenings.
I think the local outpatient recovery programs are pretty
effective as they are generally longer than inpatient and run for 6-8 weeks.

This! As a person in a recovery program, with many friends whose kids "grew up in the rooms" here is my perspective:

- kids whose parents have been open about their recovery - kids grow up with their own little network, as well if they find themselves needing help in the future they know where to go.

If a friend or family member (regardless how close we were) asked me about this I would be happy to discuss and take child and/or parents to a meeting. There is also Alanon/Allateen/Naranon for the family of the person struggling.

It is a rare situation to find a dealer/drugs being around the rooms/parking lots/etc. Members will speak up if they see something that concerns them. You are likely to find endless support there, it has been life-changing for me.

[Anonymous]

15:40 again here

For AA/NA there are both-mixed gender and single-gender meetings. There are a lot of meetings available on zoom, which is great but also comes with limitations. People are very welcome, regardless of the stage in the addiction/concern that person is in. Their needs to be some willingness or at lest interest on the part of that person - they don't have to be waving a white flag "surrender" level, they just have to be open to hear the messages shared.

If anyone wants - I can post info for a few meetings that are open on zoom.