Anyone regret sending their teen to inpatient rehab.

[Anonymous]

Big picture, take the situation very seriously. My boyfriend
had a young man who worked for him die from alcoholism.
The young man was in his 20's and left behind a 3 year
old son and ex wife.

The young man married into a very wealthy family. I think
his wife's family paid for expensive rehabs twice. At some
point wife divorced the young man. He had a really cute
kid he would bring around to work.

My boyfriend fielded a collect call from work from the
_________ County jail. The young man called in
saying he could not get to work as he was in jail
for DuI. For some reason my boyfriend called the Mom.
She would not bail out son as she was exhausted at
dealing with everything. He spent some time in the
County jail due to his DUI. Sadly several years later
he died due to alcoholism.

This was a smart young man. Beautiful wife. Three
year old kid. He went to several pricey rehabs.
Sadly nothing stuck.

Take things seriously but ultimately the teen/adult
has to want recovery.

[Anonymous]

It is not too difficult to find off the grid kind of places
in Montana. Inexpensive.

By Nov 30th it gets pretty cold though.

[Anonymous]

I went to inpatient rehab for an ED 3 times between 2000-2008. The first few times, I had zero interest in getting help. Like with most people struggling with an addiction, I was a very good manipulator. I knew exactly what to say and do to make everyone think I was getting better. But really, I was learning new tricks and new ways to keep up with my ED without anyone knowing. The last time I wanted to get help and it worked. That seemed to line up with most people there. Rehab only sticks if you want it to AND if you make the changes outside of rehab. This may mean cutting off friends, quitting an activity , etc.

I don't think inpatient rehab is bad, it can definitely be effective. But if the person isn't open to it, it's a gigantic waste of money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to inpatient rehab for an ED 3 times between 2000-2008. The first few times, I had zero interest in getting help. Like with most people struggling with an addiction, I was a very good manipulator. I knew exactly what to say and do to make everyone think I was getting better. But really, I was learning new tricks and new ways to keep up with my ED without anyone knowing. The last time I wanted to get help and it worked. That seemed to line up with most people there. Rehab only sticks if you want it to AND if you make the changes outside of rehab. This may mean cutting off friends, quitting an activity , etc.

I don't think inpatient rehab is bad, it can definitely be effective. But if the person isn't open to it, it's a gigantic waste of money

Plus 1000

[Anonymous]

Does the teen think they have a problem?

If teen does not think they have a problem inpatient
rehab will have questionable results.

If parents think teen has a problem but teen does not
think teen has a problem results may not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to inpatient rehab for an ED 3 times between 2000-2008. The first few times, I had zero interest in getting help. Like with most people struggling with an addiction, I was a very good manipulator. I knew exactly what to say and do to make everyone think I was getting better. But really, I was learning new tricks and new ways to keep up with my ED without anyone knowing. The last time I wanted to get help and it worked. That seemed to line up with most people there. Rehab only sticks if you want it to AND if you make the changes outside of rehab. This may mean cutting off friends, quitting an activity , etc.

I don't think inpatient rehab is bad, it can definitely be effective. But if the person isn't open to it, it's a gigantic waste of money

What’s ED?

[Anonymous]

eating disorder

[Anonymous]

It's not great, these places tend to treat people like prisoners and it's unneccesary .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever tried to take their kid to a remote cabin somewhere for a few months - where they are completely away from drugs/alcohol and negative influences. No internet, no cell phones - just fresh air, lots of water and healthy activities (like hiking, swimming, reading, cooking).

The first few weeks might be awful for them but after awhile wouldn't they start to adjust physically and mentally to being substance free?

And then what?

Get through the initial crisis. Establish some healthier outlets - exercising (running, rock climbing, swimming, kayaking).

And then assess where you need to go from there. Counseling? 12 step meetings? Moving to another town/enrolling in a different school? Whatever you think you need to do.

Putting someone with an acute addiction in this situation (cabin in the woods or farm in the middle of nowhere) only leads to desperation and acts that put their lives in danger. And if you think there are no drugs in the countryside, you have GOT to be kidding. There is a huge addiction problem in rural America.

Most addicts can obtain drugs more or less immediately. Your child will simply leave the cabin, farm etc and put him or herself in a dangerous situation. This includes selling their bodies if they need to. Your idea that you can somehow isolate the addiction out of them is naive and dangerous.

Do you have any relatives that farm? Drop teen off at 7:00 am to work and pick teen up at 5:00 pm. Outside work is very therapeutic. Farmers
wife brings out large lunch in middle of the day. Drive kid out to Frederick County farm and pick him up at end of day. There is a shortage of farm hands
and outside work if very therapeutic. Believe me, kid will be too tired to party. The work is 6 days a week.

My boyfriend worked summers in high school and college for a farmer baling hay, cleaning out silos, and painting the exterior bolts on silos.

[Anonymous]

Putting someone with an acute addiction in this situation (cabin in the woods or farm in the middle of nowhere) only leads to desperation and acts that put their lives in danger. And if you think there are no drugs in the countryside, you have GOT to be kidding. There is a huge addiction problem in rural America.

Most addicts can obtain drugs more or less immediately. Your child will simply leave the cabin, farm etc and put him or herself in a dangerous situation. This includes selling their bodies if they need to. Your idea that you can somehow isolate the addiction out of them is naive and dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eating disorder

Took me a minute. Couldn’t get past the question of how this sort of treatment would be effective for erectile dysfunction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Took me a minute. Couldn’t get past the question of how this sort of treatment would be effective for erectile dysfunction

That cracked me up!

[Anonymous]

The rehab industry is exceptionally scammy.

This includes big name places like Caron. They say they do dual diagnosis, but apart from a psychiatric intake at the beginning there is absolutely no mental health care. As in 99% of the so-called dual diagnosis places, they believe that any mental health problems are caused solely by drug/alcohol use. Evidently they have not heard of self-medication.

When they couldn't handle my child they took them to a mental health hospital different from the one we agreed to. The Caron car taking my child arrived after sunset. When no one answered the door, they just left my child there to spend the night outside. There was snow on the ground.

I became frantic when I hadn't heard and called repeatedly. They assured me I couldn't speak to my child because they were on the way to the hospital. (When in fact they had dropped them there the day before.) It took me two days to locate my child at a mental health hospital that ERs send homeless people to when they are a danger to themselves or others.

My child was at Caron for less than a week and, yes, I regret it.

We then did DIY rehab. Child is doing well and is now in a professional graduate program.

[Anonymous]

You need a rehab that will address the core issues, not just get them "clean" and send them home to start over. Therapy in addition to AA.

For a teen, I'd consider therapeutic boarding school over rehab. I'd also consider therapy for the rest of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a rehab that will address the core issues, not just get them "clean" and send them home to start over. Therapy in addition to AA.

For a teen, I'd consider therapeutic boarding school over rehab. I'd also consider therapy for the rest of the family.

I'm the PP above, forgot to mention. I had a teen family member "sent" to therapeutic boarding school against their will about 9 years ago. Only regret is not doing it sooner. Family member is now in mid twenties, has graduated HS and college, has a good job and is in a healthy relationship (with family and a partner) and is living independently without addiction.